Don't Fall For A Man Who Isn't Worthy Of Your Love
I wanted all or nothing and he only offered me half of everything.
Photoroyalty / Shutterstock "I'll make you feel better" is what he said. But he only pretended to make me feel better.
I loved dancing with him to that song, our song, but today I'm dancing alone to that same song in my head. And I'm happy because I could finally let him go after nine months. Because when I let him go, I meant it. I know that I will dance again, but it would never be with him.
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I don't want any ties or bonds between us. I wanted all or nothing and he only offered me half of everything.
This is why no one should fall for a man who isn't worthy of their love. I (almost fully) fell for a man who wasn't worthy of my love because real love is precious and true and so, so rare.
When I fall, I want to love someone for a lifetime, not for a few thrilling days or weeks. Someone who is worthy of your love is someone you wait for, someone who has also waited for you.
In every relationship, with time, we reveal more of ourselves. We risk our vulnerabilities hoping that we will be fully accepted but still fear the possibility we might be turned away.
Most of us have had a heartbreaking experience where we revealed our true feelings and needs and the person didn't recognize it, which made us feel ashamed and embarrassed of our true selves. Fall for someone who will accept you in the midst of your glorious future, your magic, your secrets, and your scarred past.
When someone breaks our heart, we learn to repress our true feelings and hide our true selves, building a wall around us because nothing hurts more than heartbreak, the death of a relationship so close to our soul.
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A real man who is worthy of your love will stand by your side and love you for your beauty and your flaws. Don't waste your time and energy on someone who constantly makes you question your own identity and the possibility of your future with him.
Fall for someone who lets you be your true self because the fear of abandonment and rejection makes us hide who we are, and in the process, we sometimes lose our true identity. Meet a man who will help you learn more about yourself, the more you open yourself up to him.
Don't fall for a man who controls your ability to be candid. You can never truly love a man with who you cannot be transparent because a real relationship needs trust and closeness where you can communicate openly and fully.
An authentic and thoughtful man is one who is worthy of your love. He will have morals and core values that he believes in and he will be consistent with his words and his actions. Find a man who is psychologically mature and a well-functioning human who knows how to treat other people.
He will not send 50 texts in the first week and then three texts every day afterward because he's "busy." No one is ever too busy; it's a matter of priorities and a man who is worthy of your love will prioritize you, not make you feel like an option.
A man who is worthy of your love will be reliable and will not judge you but accept you for who you are and will show himself for who he is. A man worth loving is one who knows that being in a relationship is a choice, and who knows that conflict between a couple is inevitable. He will fight with you but he will fight fair and he will fight well.
Fall for the man who is open to learning from his mistakes, who acknowledges that sometimes he's wrong, someone who knows how important it is to apologize when he messes up — and he doesn't mess up intentionally.
Fall in love with a man who isn't narcissistic and is conscientious of you and your feelings. Fall for someone who makes you feel secure and someone you can trust. Fall for a man who is truthful about his motivations to be with you. He says what he means and not just what you want to hear.
Fall for a man with whom you can have an authentic relationship and not a pseudo one where you constantly question whether or not he's that into you. There are no maybes; it's either a yes or a no. You have to fall for someone who fights for you and fights to be with you every day.
Falling for a man who wasn't worthy of my love made me realize what qualities I seek in my next companion. The same song that reminded me of our togetherness now predicts an even better journey for me.
Everything we do in life is to be loved a little bit more, and what I learned from him was that he never respected me. I have lost a lot in life and because of that, I choose not to waste my time (and my life) on someone who isn't ready to give me what I deserve because I know I deserve more.
The next time I fall, I will fall for a man who knows how to respect me as a woman, values my time, and is considerate. I will not fall for someone who makes me question the future of our togetherness because he will never make me feel insecure, even in his absence.
A man truly worthy of my love will not make me doubt my decisions in choosing him because he will know how lucky he is to have me in his life and he will always remember how much love I have in my heart for him. A love that will never fade, but continue to grow.
Next time, someone will not pretend to make me feel better but will make me feel better.
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Anjana Rajbhandary is a certified mental health professional, researcher, and self-directed writer/editor with over six years of experience in mental health, editorials, and non-profits. She specializes in recovery-focused initiatives, education, gender equality, and human rights. Follow her on Instagram.