You Can Always Tell A Man Really Loves You By These 15 Habits That Are Obvious Once You See Them
we.bond.creations | Shutterstock Men often claim to be simpler and that women are much more difficult to read. In some ways, this may be true, but it still leaves women scratching our heads. Are we missing something here? You’re not bonkers, I promise. Many men have trouble expressing their emotions. Yet how on Earth are we supposed to understand them if they don’t at least open up to us a little here and there? Men aren’t all the same, of course. They can be as effusive as women, and other times they clam up. But one topic can make guys go into silent mode more than any other — and that subject is love.
Love has a funny way of being both confusing and incredibly obvious at the same time. Once you know what these habits look like, you'll realize a man really loves you because the way he acts will stand out immediately and change how you see everything.
You can always tell a man really loves you by these 15 habits that are obvious once you see them:
1. He's passionate toward you
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Love makes fools of us all, men and women equally. However, women are more prone to expressing their feelings. It's just how we roll. We like to put it all on the table. Men, on the other hand, will sometimes show their love for you in non-verbal gestures
From the way he kisses you to how intently he listens to his posture, your man is trying to tell you how much you mean to him without actually saying that precious four-letter little word. Who doesn't love an excellent, lengthy kiss? When he's continuously initiating these, and you can feel the passion each time he does, it is clear he's more than just a little excited to be around you.
2. His friends love you
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Ah yes, love is in the air, he just won’t say it outright. If you’ve truly found a man who can tell you he loves you the moment he feels it, grab onto him and never let go because he’s a keeper. One way he shows his love is if all his buddies are starting to warm up to you and truly seem to enjoy your company. It could be because they know how happy you're making their friend — thus making them start to find you as awesome as he does.
3. He moves in close to you
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If you’re like the rest of us and are in a relationship where your man seems to be holding back from saying he loves you, you’re not alone. He’s going to need some time to warm up to the idea of confessing those important feelings. So be patient and look for the subtle signs you’re headed in that direction.
Research from the American Psychological Association suggested one sign is a bit counterintuitive: You know how it's unnerving when somebody you're not interested in gets close to you? It's the complete opposite when someone you adore tends to be closer in distance than he is to other people.
4. He smiles after kissing you
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When your man does something that feels significant, you don't need to keep on wondering, lost in the dark mire of "What does this mean? What did that mean?" As ever, we are here to take care of you. He kisses you, and you wonder if it is just for show. Sure, you can have a little sweet smile after kissing someone whose company you enjoy, but do you ever just feel like positively beaming when it's someone you love? If you catch him grinning after your kisses all the time, it's a great sign he truly enjoys your company.
5. He listens intently
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While he might not be saying much when it comes to your relationship and his feelings about it, the fact that he listens closely when you're talking is incredibly significant. He may lean in closer when you're discussing important topics or nod when you say something poignant, showing how much your words mean to him.
One study explored the value of listening during intimate or difficult discussions and found "high‐quality listening is effective, especially in reducing defensiveness, bridging divides, and motivating change." So if he is listening, he is one of the good guys.
6. He has upright posture in your presence
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Most of us tend to slouch and have poorer posture than we should. However, if you're trying to impress the person you care about most and want them to be most attracted to you, you're going to stand or sit straight up. This is backed up by research that investigated the role of non-verbal communication in intimate relationships: The study showed that gestures, postures, and physical space between two people have a deep impact on building effective and harmonious communication.
7. He squeezes your hand
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I once had a relationship with a guy who loved holding my hand. He would occasionally squeeze it tightly when we were cuddling or out with friends, but he hated any other kind of cutesy couple-like act. I always wondered why he was so opposed to displays of affection. But then I realized every time he squeezed my hand, he was trying to say, "I love you" in a quiet, simple way.
8. He calls or texts you for no reason
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Not all people do this when in love, so don't take it personally if he doesn't. That said, If he calls or texts for no real reason other than to connect, it is a sign he feels comfortable with you in non-romantic situations as well as the obvious ones. Reaching out to just say "Hi" says he's thinking of you throughout the day. This is one of the subtle ways he will show his love when he isn't ready to say the word"love" yet.
9. He sticks around
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Does he like to do activities together for no reason? For example, rather than just wanting to meet up at a dinner party, he'd rather go grocery shopping with you beforehand. He does this so the two of you can make a dish together to bring to the party. Simply sharing common household tasks shows an interest in being closer than just casual daters. There are subtle differences between a man starting a relationship and a man who has shifted into being in a relationship. A study of relationship development explained that his willingness to share common tasks could be an early indication that he is attempting to intensify and clarify the bond between you.
10. He maintains eye contact
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When you're at a bar with friends, does he glance across the room just to make eye contact briefly and smile at one another? This indicates how, even when you two are doing different things, he still wants you to be aware of how much he cares. Research investigated the role of mutual gaze on feelings of love. The results indicated that couples "who engaged in mutual gaze increased significantly their feelings of passionate love, dispositional love, and liking for their partner."
11. He plays with his hair
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When people are nervous, they tend to run their fingers through their hair more often than normal. Numerous studies have explored the body language of courtship to show how nonverbal flirting behaviors are part of the dance of romance, even if he doesn't say it aloud. Watch to see if he plays with his hair when you are in proximity to one another, and it’s a romantic moment. If so, it could show he wants to say something intimate but can't find the words.
12. He mirrors your behavior
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Does he tend to take bites of his food at the same time as you or do other things similarly? He could be displaying isopraxism, the matching of behaviors that couples tend to do when becoming closer together. A study explained how the development of empathy between two people is often dependent on the mirroring of behavior in a couple's communication, especially during discussions with high-handed emotion.
13. He gives you meaningful gifts
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When I say 'meaningful,' I don't mean 'expensive'; I mean he spends effort and puts serious thought into finding you something that truly fits your personality to a T. I had one guy give me three pairs of socks: one with a cute pattern, one specifically for boots, and one for high heels. The week prior, I had gotten a blister on my foot due to not having thick enough socks for a pair of boots I had just purchased, so it was super sweet and a clear indication of his listening skills that he remembered.
14. He genuinely laughs at your jokes
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Does he find you funny and can't help but giggle when you do something silly? As odd as it sounds, the more often he laughs and finds you hilarious, the more serious the level of interest and excitement surrounding your relationship is. Research on laughter and intimacy revealed that laughter is one of the "behaviors that are critical to relationship development," due to its usefulness in easing people into being vulnerable.
15. He touches you spontaneously
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When you're in a public place, does he put his fingers on your back to keep you close by? Does he hold your hand atop yours while you are in a restaurant? Random closeness via touching shows he wants to maintain physical contact, and this is another way he says he loves you without using the words. These are signs your guy is demonstrating his love for you, neatly arranged for your convenience. Enjoy, and go spread the love.
Sam Escobar covers beauty, health, and wellness for The Daily Beast, and has written for publications including The Cut (New York Magazine), Allure Magazine, Well+Good, Business Insider, Esquire, and Latina.
