Before Loving A Woman Who Doesn't Need Saving, There Are 8 Things To Know
Dean Drobot | Canva There's nothing more powerful than a woman who can stand on her own two feet without the help of a man to keep her afloat. While she is strong, independent, and perfectly okay by herself, there's a lot more to her than just coming across as “that girl who doesn't need a man.” If you can love her in the right ways, your experience will be unlike anything you've known.
Before loving a woman who doesn't need saving, there are things to know:
1. She sees you as an equal partner, not someone to fix her life
You'll never have to worry that she's with you for the wrong reasons because, before you, she was perfectly content and able on her own. She's not after your money or what you can provide her because she's already provided all of those things for herself.
Nothing is more valuable than a woman who sees the worth in your character, not because of the figures on your bank statement. Research has found that autonomy in a relationship is directly correlated to better relationship quality. When both partners feel okay on their own rather than dependent on each other, they experience greater satisfaction. Their relationship should add to each person's happiness, not be dependent upon it.
2. She'll handle things independently first because that's her default setting
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While she loves spending time with you, she's perfectly okay without you, too. If you're running late from work to some type of event or if you're unavailable to push the shopping cart around Costco on a Saturday, she doesn't hesitate to go on without you.
She's used to doing things by herself, so she isn't dependent on you being there for every little thing. Approximately half of young adults prefer to handle challenges themselves as a natural part of the developmental transition to adulthood, a study has revealed. This self-reliance is actually a sign of healthy development rather than emotional distance.
3. She's used to solving her own problems and won't wait around for rescue
The woman who's capable of being on her own became that way because she's lived the reality of it, so when she falls in love and gets into a relationship, she does it from a place of strength, and that never changes. She goes after the things that she wants in life and does whatever she can to make sure she stays on top of her game. So if you're the guy standing next to her in life, she's going to make sure the two of you together are always succeeding and growing together in the best possible ways.
4. She's built her own financial stability and isn't looking for someone to bankroll her life
She pays her bills on time, and she knows what it means to prioritize her budget. This isn't the woman who will ask to borrow her half of the mortgage because she got suckered into buying a $250 face cream she didn't really need, because she's smart and sensible. There's a reason she survived on her own: she's a grown woman.
A study by the National Endowment for Financial Education found that 54% of couples report that financial independence positively impacts their relationship satisfaction. When both partners maintain their own financial resources, they create more balanced and respectful partnerships.
5. She has clear boundaries and won't compromise her self-respect to keep the peace
It won't matter how much she loves you. If you treat her like trash, she won't stick around. There's something dangerously alluring about loving a woman who doesn't need you to take care of her because it makes you step up to be a real man in her company. While she won't hesitate to walk away from mistreatment and be perfectly fine without you, if you treat her well and with kindness and respect, she'll give you the same back tenfold.
6. Asking for help doesn't come naturally to her, even when she could use it
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If she can accomplish it herself, she will. To her, there's no sense in asking you to help with every little thing because she knows it's easier to get the stuff done than bark orders at you.
7. Her world doesn't revolve around you, and that's actually a good thing
Before you, there was just her, and just because you're in the picture doesn't mean that her life goes away. She'll still want her girl time, her downtime, and her grind time to be without you at times because she knows it's completely healthy for both of you to continue nurturing the relationships you have with yourselves.
When she comes back to you after enjoying her regular comforts, she feels even happier knowing that you support her choices and that you respect her need to retreat at times. It's just what she's used to, and she loves that you accept her independent nature instead of acting controlling and jealous of her time away from you.
8. She chose you because she wants you, not because she needs you
Self-determination theory research shows that relationships built on genuine desire rather than dependency create healthier dynamics with greater authenticity and mutual respect.
Being with her is a love that comes from a completely pure place. She's with you for no other reason than she wants to be. She didn't need you for money. She didn't need to fill a void in her heart; you simply found each other, made a great connection, and grew from there together.
Loving a capable woman or being on her own is possibly the best kind of love you can find. She's not some tortured princess who needed to be saved. She's not the damsel in distress who crumbles under pressure. She's with you because she didn't need to be rescued — she just wanted to be loved.
Andrea Wesley is a freelance writer and poet living in Vancouver, Canada. She is a former contributor to The Bolde and Elite Daily.
