Woman Wonders How To Tell Her Husband She's Pregnant After He Serves Her Divorce Papers With No Notice
The timing couldn't be worse — but many feel she's asking the wrong questions.
Emituu / Shutterstock Unexpected pregnancies are always difficult to deal with, even when it's good news. But when it happens in the middle of a divorce? Well, that's a whole other ball of wax.
That's the situation a woman on Reddit is in, and the circumstances have many feeling that the pregnancy should be the least of her worries.
The mom is wondering how to tell her husband she's pregnant after he served her divorce papers out of the blue.
Aside from the truly terrible timing, the mom was totally blindsided by her husband, Jordan's, decision to divorce. She wrote in her post that, as of last month, she noticed that Jordan had become distant. "He takes longer shifts at work, he isn't as intimate with me anymore, and he pretty much ignores our daughter and me completely," she shared.
"And then about a week ago I get served with divorce papers while he's at work," she wrote. "He refuses to tell me why he wants one and is insistent that it isn't a problem I can fix."
The mom had been told she was infertile due to cancer treatments, ruining her husband's plan to have seven children.
Their relationship began under frankly disturbing circumstances. Her husband, 21 years her senior, was a "family friend" who got her pregnant at the age of 18 with their now 14-year-old daughter.
A "shotgun wedding" ensued due to her deeply religious parents, and they quickly settled into married life. "Jordan wants a big family and always has," she wrote, going to explain that he wants seven children. "I wasn't super opposed to the idea of one, though I felt 7 was… a bit much?"
Once their daughter entered kindergarten, they began trying for another baby, but she was soon diagnosed with cancer, the treatments for which her doctor said would likely result in infertility.
They kept trying anyway, with tragic results — a series of miscarriages and a stillbirth. "After a few months of this he tells me that he's sick and tired of getting his hopes up only to be let down," she wrote.
Her husband insisted that she should keep future pregnancies secret from him until the second trimester — which happened to fall right when he decided to divorce her.
Somehow, she became pregnant again and made it to the four-month mark. "[I] was planning to tell him the news the literal day I was served [with divorce papers]," she said. Now, she's at a total loss for how to tell him.
"I have to disclose that I'm pregnant on the paperwork since that affects possible child support and custody and I don't want to lie to a judge," she wrote. "But I also want to tell him myself instead of having him find out through the court."
She's also worried the news will appear to be an attempt to "manipulate him into canceling the divorce and force him to stay with me," she shared. "But if I wait for it to be mentioned during the divorce it'll look like I was trying to hide it and trap him into paying more money for a child he wouldn't be aware of."
People online felt she was worried about all the wrong things. Instead, she should focus on getting a lawyer as soon as possible.
That she is concerned about what he might think about the news that she's carrying his second child is a testament to the ways her husband has surely manipulated and mentally abused her from the very start of their relationship
After grooming and impregnating her as a teenager amid an age gap one Redditor aptly called "repulsive," he then served her divorce papers without so much as a word spoken. The real question here is one a fellow Redditor bluntly asked her: "Who cares about how he sees you?"
More importantly, nearly everyone agreed that what she needs to be focusing on is lawyering up immediately. "Get in debt if you need to for this," one Redditor urged. "And sue him for all he's got, you will need it for both of the kids and yourself."
There are also unique legal ramifications to getting divorced while pregnant — including laws in many states that prohibit it entirely until the baby is born.
Hopefully, this mom can get the help she needs so that she can provide for her daughter and new baby — away from her husband who clearly doesn't have any of their best interests at heart.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.