11 Things Parents Of Gen X Kids Did That Would Be Considered ‘Neglect’ Today
Parenting has changed significantly over the years. Do you remember these Gen X norms?
Elzbieta Sekowska / Shutterstock Ah, the years of Gen X childhood. It was the late 70s through the late 80s — a perfect time to enjoy things like Alf the TV show, all things Muppet-related, and classic Saturday morning cartoons. It was also a time when things seen on Stranger Things actually made sense in terms of parenting.
It’s no big surprise to hear that kids today are baffled to find out what parenting was like for Gen X. Today, many of the things that you might have seen older generations enjoy are now deemed to be neglect at best, taboo at worst. Don’t believe it? This list shows the full, unadulterated truth of what was normal back in the day.
These are 11 things parents of Gen X kids did that would be considered ‘neglect’ today
1. Letting kids roam the neighborhood
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The 80s and 90s were the golden eras of “stranger danger,” but make no mistake about it: kids were allowed to hang out around town. It was normal for children and teenagers to enjoy wandering around town after school or during summer months. Parents weren’t expected to keep an eye on them 24/7.
Rather, the general rule was to allow kids to come back home when the sun sets. If a kid came home earlier, it was usually because they got hurt and needed a parent to bandage them after a bike fall. Today? This kind of attitude could cause parents to get into legal trouble for neglect.
2. Letting kids go to parties without meeting the parents
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An invite to a party isn't just an invite these days. Most parents think it’s basic protocol to meet the other kid’s parents, expect a parent to remain present, and also know what the parent is okay with in their homes. In the past, it wasn’t like that at all.
Parents were just relieved to see their kids socializing. There was a quiet understanding that parents trusted one another and that kids generally wouldn’t do stupid stuff. If they did end up doing stupid stuff, parents placed the blame on their own children rather than on others.
3. Mall ratt-ing
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In many parts of the country, wandering around the neighborhood wasn’t as popular as having parents drop kids off at malls. The 80s were the golden age of the mall rat: teenagers and kids who would just hang out at malls to flirt, flaunt outfits, and gossip.
Today, malls aren’t thrilled to see younger kids without parents. Unsupervised children and young teens can have their parents called to pick them up. In some cases, it can even be seen as negligent.
4. Expecting kids to cook their own food
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As a Millennial raised with very unusual parenting styles, I was expected to learn how to handle knives by the time I was six years old. Chopping vegetables was normal for me. So was using the microwave. My dad’s parents were a bit more extreme: they would leave him alone at home at eight years old with adult-level cookbooks.
It wasn’t unusual for the children of Gen X and older to be expected to learn how to cook their own meals. Today, kids as old as eight need to have adult supervision when they use a microwave. And cookbooks?! Fughettaboutit!
5. Making babies cry it out
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If you’re a parent, you already know how hard it is to hear a baby crying. Your first instinct is to pick up the kiddo and help him. In the era of Gen X’s childhood, this wasn’t done. Parenting experts suggested it’s best to let kids cry it out, which means that children would be left alone to cry until they stopped crying.
Today, crying it out is considered to be misguided parenting at best and neglectful at worst. Multiple studies have come out warning about this type of sleep training.
6. Letting kids figure it out themselves
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Let’s say that you are a modern kid who is struggling emotionally. Today, everyone would advise you to go to your parents and talk about how you’re feeling. In the past, that wasn’t the case at all.
Gen X grew up with parents who would have told children to “figure it all out yourself,” as a way to encourage kids to learn problem-solving. This often encouraged independence. However, it also left vulnerable children to fend for themselves, which frequently had unintended, negative consequences.
7. Ignoring school bullies
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Here’s a big source of contention among parents: dealing with bullying. Generation X was a generation that came before the age of “Zero-Tolerance,” which meant that kids were expected to fight back against bullying. Telling teachers was looked down upon, and parents were told to leave kids to sort it out amongst each other.
Today, ignoring bullying isn’t just seen as neglectful, it’s seen as dangerous. Bullying is an extremely touchy subject, and kids are encouraged to tell their parents as well as school administrators. If the school ignores their complaints, parents are also encouraged to take legal action against the negligent school.
8. Allowing kids to make their own food choices
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Even though I was a Millennial, I had a lot of "Gen X" childhood memories. One of the most notable was bonding with my dad over our love of Super Sugar Crisp (now known as Sugar Crisp) while watching X-Men cartoons.
Since the early 90s, parents have been advised to avoid feeding their kids too much sugar. In fact, feeding kids too much sugar is considered a light form of negligence by many. The reason is simple. Sugar has a notable effect on a child’s behavior. It’s just not good for you!
9. Not enforcing the use of sunscreen
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It’s hard for Millennials to imagine, but our generation was the first one to really go whole hog on sunscreen. Generations prior, including Gen X, were fairly lax about skincare in the sun. Sunburns were often treated as a part of life. Kids who weren’t tanned by summer were often assumed to be sickly.
Today, we’re more aware of the damage sunlight can do to a person’s skin. Not applying sunscreen to your child’s face is enough to get serious side-eyes from others at the beach — and rightfully so!
10. Letting their kids go to concerts unsupervised
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Among older Millennials and the generations prior, it’s no secret that many rebellious teenagers were known for going to concerts unsupervised. It also wasn’t unusual to hear of rock stars inviting teenagers backstage for reasons that weren’t always benevolent.
Today, the number of concerts teens can go to is limited. Most venues are highly averse to hosting all-ages shows, and parents are generally not okay with letting their kids go to concerts without a chaperone. In fact, a parent who lets their kids go backstage without them is often a parent who ends up being called neglectful. This might be one of the better changes to happen, all things considered.
11. Not making kids buckle up
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The 80s and 70s were decades when people were incredibly cavalier about their safety. Perhaps the most insane cultural norm of the time was seeing safety belts as a waste of time. That’s right: safety belts weren’t commonly used until the late 80s into the early 90s.
Safety belts save lives, and they only became widely used after a massive government messaging push. While Gen X’s parents would be quite comfy ignoring the child who hated safety belts, today’s parents are much wiser. And yes, today’s parents are right to call parents who ignore safety belts neglectful, too!
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
