People Who Were Raised Right Don't Care About These 11 Things At All
M_Agency | Shutterstock While the idea of being raised “right” is relatively elusive, especially when every household, parent, and situation looks wildly different, there were certain lessons great parents taught their kids across the board. People who were raised right don’t care about certain things at all, largely because of the virtues and principles their parents’ lessons taught them, from treating people with respect to cultivating strong relationships.
Even things like parental warmth, which seems so subtle and small in the moment, can truly impact what their adult kids care about and invest their time in later in life, according to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology. It speaks to the importance of raising children to become well-rounded adults.
People who were raised right don’t care about these 11 things at all
1. Bragging about goals
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While showing off money and current vanity is obviously a sign of a person desperate for attention and validation from others, likely because they didn’t get any from their own parents growing up, people who were raised right don’t care to brag at all. Even if it’s about goals they haven’t even started yet, they’d prefer to feel the relief and accomplishment of internal gratification over external awe and envy.
Of course, as psychology professor Marwa Azab explains, people who share their goals too early and brag about them before they’re realized actually sabotage their progress. If they’re only doing something for praise, and they get it too early, there’s nothing to motivate them into progressing further.
2. Trying to ‘win’ conversations
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Hard conversations and arguments are so essential for kids to be exposed to early in life. While it might seem counterintuitive for parents to argue in front of their kids, and to an extent, there’s a line that oversteps what’s healthy, but watching their parents resolve conflicts and apologize is necessary for personal growth.
They watch their parents and simultaneously craft their own ideas about relationships, respect, and conflict resolution. That's why people who were raised by good parents don’t care about trying to “win” conversations or have the last word. They’re more interested in and concerned about supporting others, speaking directly, and coming to a shared resolution.
3. Being the loudest person in the room
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While overconfident people tend to overpromise and underdeliver by leveraging charisma, extraversion, or loudness to convince other people that they’re smarter than they are, people who were raised right are quietly intelligent and humble. They don’t need other people to constantly notice their intelligence or reaffirm to them that they’re worthy of taking up space, because they’re self-assured.
That’s one of the outcomes from having great parents who bolster secure self-esteem and self-worth in their children, as a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology explains. They are secure emotionally and driven by a personal sense of self-worth, while others are tied to external perceptions and validation.
4. Following every trend
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People raised right, by great parents who allowed them alone time and grace, grew into their most authentic selves. They were supported to become exactly the kind of person that they were intended to be, with all the hobbies, quirks, and ideas that some kids are urged away from in the name of conformity.
They’re magnetic to the kind of people, relationships, and opportunities that are meant for them, because they live authentically. They don’t need to follow trends to grasp a sense of belonging, even in our society grappling with a loneliness epidemic, because even when nobody is around, they appreciate their own company.
5. Treating service workers poorly
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Many people who don’t have healthy coping skills and a sense of inner security use service workers and people they deem “less important” than themselves as “scapegoats” for their inner issues, according to psychologist Reena B. Patel. They are so unhappy and dysregulated internally that other people become targets for them to externalize their stress, insecurity, and desperate need for control.
However, people who were raised right don’t care about control or protecting their superiority. They’ve been taught to treat everyone with respect, regardless of their appearance, perceived “status,” or occupation.
6. Gossiping
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While gossiping can sometimes offer a fleeting, misguided sense of belonging and connection for people who don’t feel secure, people who were raised right are too guided by strong morals and values to speak negatively about other people. Their relationships start and grow from a foundation of honesty, respect, and authenticity, not gossip, rumors, and a contagious kind of negativity.
When they connect with someone, it’s over shared experiences and true authenticity, and if they were raised right, chances are they completely avoid any conversations that urge them to talk behind someone’s back or bond over resentment and negativity.
7. Being the center of attention
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According to psychotherapist Sean Grover, misguided parenting styles often cultivate entitled children with poor emotional regulation skills, a lack of work ethic, and social development delays. These kids expect everyone to cater to their needs and comfort, largely because their parents did for them growing up.
However, people raised right don’t care about these things at all, and instead lean into admirable habits like quietness and active listening to make others feel seen and heard. They’re internally gratified, so they don’t need to be the center of attention to feel safe and seen.
8. Hiding emotions and concerns
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While some people avoid conflicts, run from discomfort, and suppress their complex emotions to feel “in control,” they usually end up creating more stress and emotional turmoil in the long run, according to a study from the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Whether it was unmet needs in childhood or growing up in a tumultuous home, these adult kids don’t feel safe to feel and express their emotions without filters and editing.
However, people who were raised to acknowledge their feelings, be honest, and lean into the challenges of discomfort are well equipped for vulnerability today. They don’t need to hide emotions or run from hard conversations, because they understand that on the other side of discomfort comes growth and connection.
9. Popularity
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According to therapist Hannah Leib Schlichter, popularity is often an illusion. While most people seek it for a sense of belonging or to feel accepted, compared to people with a few strong friendships, a “popular” person is surrounded by a sea of performance, superficiality, and distance. They’re even more alone, despite being surrounded by a ton of people.
That’s why people who were raised right don’t care about chasing popularity, but instead lean into meaningful interactions and crafting strong relationships starting from an authentic foundation, even if it’s only a few.
10. Performing in social settings
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From changing their personality depending on who they’re around to performing interest to be “liked” by others, people who struggle with authenticity end up sabotaging connections. For some, it’s a coping mechanism. If they hide their true selves, being disliked or judged feels less like a personal attack. However, being open, authentic, and vulnerable is how people craft truly loving, supportive relationships.
That’s why people who were raised right don’t care about performing at all. They find belonging and connection by being themselves, and if they’re not appreciated or liked for being who they are, the environments or people around them aren’t the right ones.
11. Flaunting wealth
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If someone is insecure about themselves and tied up in seeking status, as narcissistic, selfish people often are, they’ll often cling to superficial things like money, clothing, and job titles to prove their worth to others. They think that by flaunting to others, they can make themselves seem more “important,” even if it only ends up isolating them more.
People who were raised right were taught to prioritize very different things. From wisdom to experiences, authenticity, and kindness, their humble, genuine attitude is all they care about “flaunting.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
