Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What It Means To Be A Bad Parent
De Visu | Shutterstock It seems like everyone has a different idea of what it means to be a bad parent these days. Some generations grew up with absent parents, while others had helicopter parents who never let them do anything on their own. Often, these two sides of parenting think the other is wrong, and their way is right.
From the overuse of technology to the controversies surrounding gentle parenting, it seems like no one is happy with the way anyone chooses to raise their kids. It could come from the trauma of their own childhoods, or frustrations with how their grandchildren are being raised. These differences can cause rifts in families over time.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X and boomers have different ideas of what makes a bad parent, including these 8 things:
Boomers think it's bad to make decisions for your children
Boomers and even some older Gen X might think that millennial and Gen Z parents aren’t giving their children the opportunity to think for themselves. While they often expected their children to act a certain way, they weren’t there looking over their shoulder at every second.
This can range from helping with homework to more complex issues like choosing the friends they can have. Boomers notoriously raised their children as latchkey kids, meaning they were often alone and left to fend for themselves. If you ask their kids, there were positive and also very negative issues with this. Regardless, when parents take on too much responsibility for their children, boomers may not understand.
Gen X thinks it's bad parenting to let kids to get away with disrespect
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We’ve likely all had run-ins with a disrespectful kid in public. Whether they’re throwing a fit or talking poorly to other people, it’s frustrating to be around. This is because some parents are choosing to take a more relaxed approach to parenting.
While boomers chose to be authoritarian parents, meaning they told their children what to do and expected them to listen, Gen X tried to balance it out a bit, leaning toward authoritative parenting, which means you expect respect but you don't demand total compliance.
Younger generations are straying away from this ideology. Millennials especially are leaning into gentle parenting. To some, this parenting technique is producing kids who are entitled and rude. They don't like their behavior, so they blame their parents.
Millennials and Gen Z are against harsh punishments
Boomers and Gen X were raised with seriously harsh punishments, and that's mostly how they raised their kids, too. Their parents expected them to behave and they'd get in serious trouble if they didn’t. Sometimes, this could result in physical discipline that the younger generation doesn’t believe in at all.
Millennials and Gen Z are raising their kids without harsh punishments, which older generations may not understand. However, they might be the generations making the best parenting decisions. A study found that authoritarian parenting is linked with the lowest self-concept and well-being. People raised by strict parents want better for their children and choose a warmer approach, which may swing a little too far toward the permissive style at times!
Gen X and millennials think giving kids too much independence is a bad idea
It can be both hard and scary to give your kids too much freedom. While Boomers believed in letting their children do whatever they wanted until the streetlights turned on, Gen X and Millennials may try to shelter their kids more. They want to guide them the best way they can, unlike how they were brought up.
Studies have warned that too little independence may affect the mental health of children. They begin to rely on their parents for everything and struggle to form their own thoughts and decisions. It’s also costing parents more. While Boomers rarely paid for childcare, Millennials and Gen Z are spending thousands to make sure their children are supervised at all times. Is it a good thing? Mostly, yes. But there are always trade-offs.
Gen X thinks it's bad parenting not to tell kids how you really feel
I’m a Millennial, and my parents never held back in telling me how they felt. Whether it was about my behavior or what they were going through in their lives, we were an open book. Now, my generation and Gen Z might try to shield their children from their true feelings. They think it’s bad parenting to get children involved in adult issues.
It turns out Boomers and Gen X might be correct in the approach they took. A study found that when masking emotions from their children, parents create a lower-quality relationship. Shielding your children from every negative thought may bring struggles in the future.
Booomers judge parents for watching over their kid's every move
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Helicopter parents have a bad reputation, especially with the older generations. Raised at a time when they would play outside until the streetlights came on, they can’t understand why children need to be supervised at all times. Now, parents fear stranger danger, which can prevent bad things from happening, but not everyone agrees with the technique.
Helicopter parents may be hurting their children more than they realize. This parenting style is often linked to higher anxiety in children, making them afraid to face the world on their own. Older generations often criticize parents for this behavior.
Gen Z thinks expecting kids to fit a certain mold is seriously bad parenting
Millennials and Gen Z don’t agree with parenting that forces kids into a certain box. Embracing individuality is important for them. They want to support their children for who they are. This can make a child feel more worthy than those who were told to be a certain way and held to it. Showing them they are allowed to feel their emotions and be themselves without holding back goes a long way.
Being raised under more authoritarian circumstances can make kids afraid to be their true selves. Instead, they stick to the rigid expectations placed on them, and younger generations don’t agree with this at all.
Parenting the exact same way you were raised will almost always be controversial
A Pew Research survey found that 43% of parents choose to raise their kids similarly to how they were brought up. This means following the same values, discipline, and levels of autonomy.
The same survey found that about 1 in 10 parents are taking a completely different approach to parenting. This often translates into changes in love and discipline. These parents were found to change the love they show their kids by 32% and discipline techniques by 44%.
But generations will always push back at least a little on what their parents and grandparents did. The younger groups tend to believe these standards are outdated, and they should strive to be better parents than their own. And striving to be a good parent is rarely a bad thing.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
