Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What Makes A Good Grandparent
Anna Lurye | Shutterstock No one is really going to disagree on who a grandparent actually is, but that doesn’t mean each generation sees their role in the same way.
People’s relationships with their grandparents can be just as complicated as the ones they have with their parents. There’s no perfect model for grandparents to follow since everyone is different. There are some general ideas that each generation expects, though.
Each generation values different things in their relationships with their grandparents.
The stereotypical image of a grandma making cookies with her grandchildren and a grandpa taking them fishing probably isn’t completely accurate for any time period. Still, older generations definitely did want something more traditional from their grandparents than younger people do.
Boomers think a good grandparent is someone who shows their support by being active in their grandchildren’s lives.
The baby boomer generation was very family-oriented, which can be seen in the way many got married and started families pretty early in their adult lives. Boomers have also been very involved in their parents’ lives as they age, as well as their kids’ lives as they become adults themselves.
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If there’s a generation that came close to that idealized image of baking and fishing, it would be boomers. They’re supportive of the people they love, and their grandchildren are no different. Many even provide their kids with the free childcare they need to remain successful at work.
Since boomers grew up during a period of economic uncertainty, they think one of the best ways to show up for their grandkids is to give them the things they need. Sometimes they miss their emotional needs in the process, but they’re providing for them in the best way they know how to.
Gen X agrees that a good grandparent is involved, but they also want a deeper emotional connection with their grandkids.
The attitude Gen X has adopted as grandparents was heavily influenced by their parenting style. This generation grew up learning how to be independent early because their parents prioritized their careers. When Gen X had kids of their own, they were more protective and became a more constant presence in their lives.
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Now that they’re becoming grandparents, Gen X translates this into being an active part of their grandchildren’s lives. They show up for them and support them like boomers, but not in exactly the same way.
While boomers had more traditional relationships with their grandkids that almost bordered on formal, Gen X believes in having close one-on-one bonds with their grandchildren and letting their relationships grow around each kid’s individual needs and characteristics. They’re making grandparenting more personalized.
Millennials have higher expectations for how grandparents should support their own kids as parents.
Now that millennials are raising their own kids, they have very strong opinions about parenting that shape how they think good grandparents should act. Millennials are prioritizing their kids' emotions by using gentle parenting and having open conversations with them about their mental health.
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That creates some friction with grandparents. A lot of millennials believe they’re better at parenting than their own parents were, and they don’t always react well to advice on how they should raise their kids.
Millennials want involved grandparents for their kids, but the idea of sticking to a different set of rules at Grandma and Grandpa’s house is a thing of the past. They expect good grandparents to back them up and never undermine their choices. For them, good grandparenting looks like a reflection of their own parenting.
Gen Z thinks that being a good grandparent means being present in their grandchildren’s lives by having fun and making memories.
Gen Zers are in a unique position because many are becoming first-time parents while also still having their own grandparents as a part of their lives. They obviously want good things for themselves, but they’re even more focused on the connection their own children form with their grandparents.
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It seems like this generation doesn't have a very hard time establishing boundaries with their kids’ grandparents, though. A lot of Gen Zers have said that they look to their own parents as role models. There’s not as much tension there, and they genuinely want their parents to be involved in their children’s lives as much as possible.
Today’s grandparents want to make memories with their grandchildren and plan fun activities to do with them instead of just inviting them over to play. This is exactly what Gen Z wants. As big fans of spending money on experiences instead of things themselves, they think that’s the kind of relationship a good grandparent should strive to have with their grandkids.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
