11 Everyday Things Gen X Kids Were Expected To Handle On Their Own
Sergei Kolesnikov / Shutterstock Considering Gen Xers went through most of their formative years without much parental guidance, it's not surprising that their resilience and independence in adulthood are so widely spoken about. For the most part, their parents were authoritative, balancing warmth with an element of passiveness and discipline that some modern parents today demonize.
There were a number of everyday things Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own growing up that largely influenced their autonomy in adulthood. From babysitting their siblings to regulating their own emotions without parental oversight, Gen X kids largely fended for themselves. But in a world of codependence and constant stimulation today, their childhood experiences have become a superpower.
Here are 11 everyday things Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own
1. Packing lunches for school
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While parents today sling out money for hot lunches or make them for their kids, Gen Xers were expected to make their own. If they didn’t make them before school, they weren’t going to eat. While the conversation around food and feeding families is more nuanced than ever today, in the '70s and '80s, it was a conversation of accountability.
Kids who took responsibility and accountability were set up for success by parents who offered them chores and responsibilities at home.
2. Managing their own boredom
Managing their own boredom and entertaining themselves without parents or screens were among the everyday tasks Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own. They had to go play outside, find new hobbies, or solve their own problems, while kids with technology or gentle parents hardly do.
That’s part of the reason why Gen Xers also tend to have better social skills. They were forced to get out of the house and make friends, in comparison to other younger generations today, who often rely on their phones for a sense of community, connection, and entertainment.
3. Getting home from school
Gen X was one of the least parented generations, so it’s not surprising that walking home from school without supervision and finding their way to friends' houses were some of the everyday things they were expected to handle on their own.
They were expected to look after themselves, ask for help when they needed it, and take on responsibilities without necessarily fully understanding them. They were comfortable with discomfort and are more resilient today because of it.
4. Working through arguments with siblings
The sibling relationships adults carry into adulthood, which are some of our most powerful family bonds, start as kids. They’re inherently emotionally charged, and despite that, they were one of the everyday things Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own.
They fought over toys and worked through arguments with their siblings without much parental oversight, especially because they spent most of their time together at home while their parents worked.
5. Saving money for things they wanted
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Many Gen Xers are more financially literate and responsible than other generations, largely because of the attitudes and expectations about money they learned from their parents. They were expected to save their money or get a job to pay for the things they wanted, rather than being offered it immediately upon asking.
They had to learn the value of the dollar in a time when online consumerism and trends were much harder to buy into immediately, as they are today.
6. Getting up and ready in the morning
Gen X children weren’t just taught independence through solitude as kids, but also through tasks and responsibilities that many parents today take on out of obligation. From waking up in the morning to getting ready for school, these were some of the everyday things Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own.
Not only did it teach them how to take care of themselves and manage obligations, but it also often afforded them a routine that still adds to their life and well-being today.
7. Playing outside without supervision
While a lack of independent play is causing mental health struggles and a lack of independence in today's youth, Gen Xers were free to play outside, meet friends, and fill their own time growing up. Yes, it might’ve been a “safer world” to some degree, but it’s also due to the parenting styles of Gen X households and their less rigid, overprotective behaviors.
Of course, this kind of freedom as kids also fed into Gen Xers’ creativity and innovation. As adults, Gen X leaders tend to be the most innovative and resourceful, according to a 2020 study, largely because they have the space to practice making the most of what they had and crafting play to fill their time at an impressionable age.
8. Babysitting their siblings
While it’s true that some Gen Xers were parentified from a young age because of a responsibility to care for their siblings, others were offered a sense of independence from caring for people other than themselves. They bonded with their siblings, developed a sense of responsibility, solved problems on their own, and learned to appreciate solitude without dread.
While kids today may lean on their parents for entertainment and solutions to problems, Gen X kids were the first line of defense against their own issues and boredom.
9. Self-soothing
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Whether it was dealing with their complex emotions in a time-out or self-soothing in the face of discomfort when they were home alone, self-soothing is one of the everyday things Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own.
While gentle parents today may carve out space to avoid this kind of discomfort and openly talk about emotions or feelings, Gen X kids had to learn to do it themselves, even if it sometimes meant suppressing them at the cost of their long-term mental health.
10. Solving problems themselves
Whether it was talking to their teachers, working through arguments with friends, or solving other personal struggles, Gen X kids were expected to be independent. Their parents didn’t step in to solve all of their problems, and they certainly weren’t interested in managing their discomfort for them, so their kids were taught independence from a young age.
While it’s true that Gen Xers’ parents tended to be warmer than their parents were to them, their authoritative parenting style still pushed kids toward greater independence. On top of mental health stigmas that move older generations away from conversations about emotions, solving problems themselves was one of the everyday things Gen X kids were expected to handle on their own.
11. Learning new skills on their own
Gen Xers didn’t have access to YouTube or technology growing up that assisted them in learning new skills, but that didn’t stop them from trying to fix things. From their favorite toys to random gadgets, they were far more interested in critical thinking and problem-solving than many younger generations are today – largely because they were “unplugged.”
For many, these habits are interwoven into their relationships with their parents, and their most vulnerable moments and traditions are associated with learning new things and working through problems together.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
