How To Tell If You're 'Too Sensitive' — And What To Do About It

Are you too sensitive?

My apologies for asking you such an insensitive question right off the bat, but honestly, how often have you been told that you are "too sensitive"?

Some men and women are classified as "highly sensitive people" or HSPs. Coined by psychologists Elaine and Arthur Aron, authors of the groundbreaking book, The Highly Sensitive Person, a highly sensitive person is a person with a particularly high measure of sensory processing sensitivity — a trait that makes people have a heightened response to physical, social and emotional stimuli.

And while living with increased sensitivity comes with a few challenges, being an HSP isn't a bad thing.

I’ve been told I'm "too sensitive" once too often in my own life, and if anyone tells me that today, I’m well prepared with a firm and kind response that feels empowering and loving to myself.

But let me first answer the above question for you: No, you are definitely not too sensitive.

RELATED: If These 10 Rare Qualities Describe You, You Might Be An HSP — A Highly Sensitive Person

Sensitive? Most likely yes!

Too sensitive? Most likely no!

And here’s my response if someone tells me that I’m too sensitive: “I agree that I am sensitive — even a highly sensitive person — and I actually love that about myself. I’d be happy to share more with you about what that means to me, if you're interested."

So what does it mean to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)?

Being sensitive really means that you are in touch with your senses. Your ordinary five physical senses are the instruments of the Divine to sense and perceive Her way around this physical universe and have all kinds of experiences: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching.

Today, science knows that people have many other senses outside of the basic five. They are referred to as perception of heat, cold, space, body, gravity, pain, and a lot more.

However, while everyone has those main senses, not everyone is called "highly" sensitive. So what makes you different and prone to receiving those rather negative labels, often associated with HSPs?

There’s one additional sense, commonly known as the sixth sense, that has a kind of mystery and awe around it and obviously doesn’t fall into the five physical senses category, nor into the additional senses of heat, pain, gravity, etc. The sixth sense is defined as a "keen intuitive power."

A spiritual teacher of mine once described the sixth sense as "perceiving everything all at once". When you perceive everything all at once, you are not perceiving through your five senses. You somehow "just know" — or "just sense."

If you’d grown up in a family who also perceived everything all at once, it would be normal and natural to you. You wouldn’t question or doubt your intuitive sixth sense ability.

Unfortunately, most people didn’t grow up in a family like that, which makes you believe that you have to adjust to fit into their normalcy.

To people who are not yet in touch with their sixth sense, you may appear "too sensitive," only because they mostly relate to the compartmentalized five senses — and aren't in the practice of getting in touch with their sixth sense.

If you are a highly sensitive person, then you may frequently experience the following things:

• You can get a "feel" for people before you know them

• You can tell when someone is lying to you or not telling the whole truth

• You're told to be quiet when you speak what you feel, see, and know

• You wonder why other people don't seem to have the same knowledge or understanding as you

• You occasionally doubt your natural abilities because nobody seems to understand you

• You shut down your natural state to better fit in with other people

If you are a highly sensitive being, you’ll never feel that you fit into an insensitive world filled with people that are not in touch with their intuitive senses. You are a round peg and cannot fit into a square hole.

Imagine that your sixth sense is your native tongue, and is a language that others have not learned yet. It’s confusing to be born into a world where people speak a different language than you do (the five senses). That’s why so many highly sensitive beings have "unlearned" their native tongue in order to try to fit in. And it doesn’t feel good, nor does it work.

Human beings tend to judge what they don’t understand, which can only lead to confusion and aggravation. It’s easy to take a judgment personally and then judge yourself for it, too. But in reality, a judgment from someone else about your sensitivity is just a misunderstanding — not a personal flaw.

RELATED: Why Am I So Sensitive? 6 Reasons You're A Highly Sensitive Person — And Why It's OK

If you speak a different language and someone doesn’t understand you, there is no reason to take it personally. It just means that they don’t understand you. Similarly, if you realize that someone has not learned to tap into their sixth sense yet and misperceives you, there is no reason to take it personally, either.

So it starts with you. It starts with you realizing that your sensitivity is a bigger way of perceiving life than most people do.

Being a highly sensitive person truly is your gift.

It most surely does not mean that there’s something wrong with you — or goddess forbid that you're too sensitive. It is your gift! Please receive it.

When you stop doubting or hiding your sensitive nature and start loving yourself for it instead, your energy changes quickly. Suddenly there’s nothing to take personally, nor make you feel bad about yourself anymore, no matter what anyone says.

Yet in order to be able to love what you believed to be wrong, you first need to understand it yourself — outside of your own judgment and confusion. Dear one, your sensitivity is a gift that is completely misunderstood in this world, and the time has come for you to embrace it.

Everyone has their own unique "flavor" in regards to being highly sensitive, perceptive, or intuitive. Please use your own description of how you experience yourself in order to determine what that is.

I’ve heard descriptions like psychic, clairvoyant, telepathic, vibing, hunch, gut feeling, instinct, ESP, divination, foreknowledge, and channeling. Do you also get those chills, sometimes called "truth bumps?" Me too, and I love them. They are so clear and obvious.

At the core, no matter what you call your sixth sense, it simply means that you are in touch with something much deeper and bigger than what most people are aware of in this world.

So yes, that sensitivity makes you different. However, it doesn’t make you wrong.

And yes, it makes you feel that you don’t fit in. However, it doesn’t mean that you don’t belong.

Certainly, it’s hard to live by the rules of this world. However, it doesn’t mean you can’t live by your own.

You were born into this world as a more "round" expanded soul. The world you were born into is inhabited by many "square" souls who are here to learn how to become "round and whole." And you are here to show them just by being yourself, "round" and all — sensitive, perceptive, in tune with what is true and what isn’t.

You are here to show them what it’s like to be "round" simply by being yourself and trusting your wisdom and intuitive guidance from within. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

You are also here to learn yourself how to remain "round" when everyone else wants you to be "square."

Many sensitive souls have completely misunderstood their roles. By believing what others say about you, you doubted your own experience and found ways to stay isolated and safe.

But there’s so much more to life on Earth than trying to stay safe. The time is now ripe for you to realize the gift of your sensitivities. What if I told you that the solution the world is looking for lies inside your sensitivity? That would turn things around, wouldn’t it?

It’s so opposite of what you’ve been told to believe, which is why you need that new viewpoint reflected back to you by more than just me.

If you're a highly sensitive person, you need to connect and reconnect with other highly sensitive people and learn to fall in love with yourself for who you are. You need to feel seen, understood, and recognized by each other. You need to be reminded of the power and beauty of being a highly sensitive soul.

It is one of the great joys to "see and acknowledge sensitive souls back to themselves." Can you imagine the possibilities from there? It starts with you first connecting with yourself and your inner senses. And because most people didn’t have any role models for that, thank goddess you have each other now!

When you reconnect with other sensitive souls and acknowledge the beauty in each other, the light within starts shining brighter. You start trusting it more. Your light empowers all highly sensitive people and makes you feel safe and confident to shine your light in whatever way, shape, or form you came here to do.

Together, we can normalize that which our society has pathologized.

When you embrace your own sensitivity, you’ll fall in love with yourself — deeply. Your light will shine brighter and will naturally soften the "squareness" in the world. Just by you being seen and recognized by other sensitive beings, you effortlessly participate in rounding out of the edges of the square souls and help others expand their consciousness, too.

When the sixth sense is activated, more and more people will start seeing "everything all at once."

RELATED: 6 Ways Highly Sensitive People Can Stop Taking Things So Personally

Pernilla Lillarose is a self-love mentor and loves helping women say yes to themselves and recognize their worthiness and power from within. If you need more help to liberate yourself from all the doubts and beliefs that have kept you in hiding, schedule a free 45-minute discovery session to find out how she can help you reclaim your personal power, or join her Facebook group, Women Saying Yes To ThemSelves, to connect with a community for other highly sensitive women.