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Here's how to know he'll commit, based on his personality type.
By Lisa Petsinis — Last updated on Apr 09, 2023
Someone's Myers-Briggs personality type can tell you quite a lot about how they are in relationships.
It's easy to tell when you've fallen head over heels in love: Your heart beats faster, you smile on the inside and out, and you see the world with new optimism. You might even feel it in your gut that he's the one.
It's much harder to know if your significant other feels the exact same way about you. He may have told you that he loves you. But, does he love you enough to commit to you forever?
Men — just like women — outwardly communicate their feelings and their level of attachment in a variety of ways. How will you know for sure that you are on the same path to the altar?
Relationship styles for the Myers-Briggs personality types
One way to tell if he's going to commit is by sizing up his Myers-Briggs personality type. Each type is made of four preference types, and each has opposing characteristics. For example, your boyfriend may get his energy from inward reflection and quiet times alone or with you (Introversion), or he may get a charge from interacting in groups (Extroversion).
His decision-making process may rely heavily on thinking and objectivity versus feelings and the unique situation. He may gather information systematically by using facts (sensing) as opposed to his intuition (Intuition). Finally, he may prefer to plan and get closure (Judging), or he may like to go with the flow (perceiving).
Each facet — Introversion (I) or Extroversion (E), Sensing (S) or Intuition (N), Thinking (T) or Feeling (F), and Judging (J) or Perceiving (P) — contribute to how he interacts with the world, including you. And, depending on his four-letter type, he will show his love and desire to commit in specific ways.
You don't have to stay in the dark. Use this guide to find out if your boyfriend has fallen so hard for you that a proposal may be around the corner.
Here are eight qualities your extroverted guy displays, based on his Myers-Briggs personality type:
1. ESTP — slow to commit but there when it matters
This easy-going, free-wheeling type will be the last to commit, but if you captivate him, he'll keep his promises. If you're the woman who has won his heart, he will shower you with practical gifts, rescue you from a crisis and be there in your time of need. He will act off balance, uncharacteristically awkward for this charismatic type, and he will tell only you how he feels. If he says he's committed, he means it.
2. ESFJ — emotionally open and traditional
If you've become his serious girlfriend, you'll notice an ESFJ's warmth and attention to your every need.
He'll act like your biggest cheerleader and make you feel good about yourself. ESFJs are very sociable yet traditional, too, so when he proudly brings you into his inner circle of friends and family and regularly tags you on social media, you'll know you're headed for the altar.
3. ENTP — flirtatious and ambitious
This guy is likely to be a big flirt. To the ENTP, relationships are one of life's many triumphs.
He will try to impress you with his cleverness or tease you in one breath, then get philosophical about the meaning of life in another. Joint accomplishments will be critical to him. When he finally gets vulnerable and opens up to you, and wants to be part of your personal growth journey, you know he's fascinated enough to make you his Mrs.
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4. ENTJ — Cool and confident
ENTJs are perhaps the most confident, goal-oriented, calculating types. He is looking to create a grand lifestyle with his spouse.
If he loves you, he will compliment you on your attractiveness and intelligence. He does like a chase. When he’s sure you can match his wit, and you'll be able to grow with him, he'll put a ring on it. There will probably be a lot of healthy discussions first.
5. ESFP — fun-loving and elusive
ESFPs are all about fun and making the most of the moment. If this is your man, he'll be hard to tie down.
If you have captured his heart, though, he's likely to fall at first sight. He’ll have a knack for noticing what you like and will go out of his way to help you out of any mess. And, fortunately for you, he will explicitly tell you how he feels about you and where your relationship is headed. This guy will love you with his whole heart.
6. ESTJ — steady and reliable
If your guy is an ESTJ, you're not likely to doubt his feelings because he's all about implementing his plans.
He's as reliable as they come. He'll make you feel safe and stable, and he'll protect you aggressively. If a commitment is what you want, it will be forever. It might take him a while to get to the proposal, but rest assured, he wants to get it right.
7. ENFP — warm and devoted
They tend to shower their lovers with warmth and their zest for life spills over onto you. Even though he's devoted and makes you feel special, he might have one eye open, wondering if the grass is greener.
When he falls hard, you'll know if because he’ll express his love in a playful, touchy-feely way. Give him the freedom to explore his dreams, and you might even feel like you're living in a fairytale.
8. ENFJ — sensitive and considerate
Relationships are everything to the ENFJ.
He's sensitive, attentive, and affectionate.
He'll want you to feel appreciated — to the point where it might even feel a bit claustrophobic! Beware of the occasional drunken "I love you" text, too. If he truly loves you, it will be intense, and he won't be able to contain it. The question is: Has he moved too fast? Take the time to make sure the match is indeed made in heaven.
Here are eight qualities your introverted guy displays, based on his Myers-Briggs personality type:
1. INTP — perfectionist intellectual
This perfectionist type lives in a rich inner world.
Your guy is an INTP he will be curious yet contained. He will show his love through spending time together and intellectual dialogue. That said, he might find it hard to express his emotions openly, and he'll dance around the status of your relationship.
He is just trying to find the perfect time to profess his love to you. One moonlit night he will seize the moment and draw your initials in the sand. When he acts out of character like this, you'll know he considers you a forever couple.
2. ISFJ — unselfish and generous
ISFJs are all about serving others. Your guy will be sensitive, generous, and thoughtful.
He values tradition and security, so when he is ready to commit, he will tell you that you make him feel safe. He will give you 110 percent and want to ensure that you have everything you need. Don't be surprised if you get a constant stream of texts throughout the day, showering you with 'I love you' and checking in to make sure you're happy!
3. ISTP — Cool, intense, and adventurous
This cat is cool yet intense. He may be all over the place — he lives in the moment, after all.
When he figures out you're worth it, he'll boldly act to seal the deal. This type may not profess his love a lot, but if he's fallen hard he will be unusually enthusiastic, and he'll want to share his adventures with you — and that includes matrimony.
4. INTJ — independent and cerebral
This type values his independence. Just being with you exclusively demonstrates how serious he is about you.
Your guy will be the cerebral type, analyzing everything, including your relationship. If he loves you enough to commit, you won’t miss his sweet, affirming nature and loyalty. He might try to deny his feelings for fear of your rejection, so go out on a limb with this one: Tell him first how you feel.
5. ISFP — easy-going and creative
His easy-going, passive approach may cause you to question his commitment.
Despite being late regularly or wearing a tough exterior, inside he's a gentle artist who will soothe your soul when you've hit rough waters. If you're able to draw him out of his shell, he'll creatively show his love, writing you beautiful cards — maybe even painting a picture of you!
6. ISTJ — loyal and dependable
The ISTJ man is loyal, dependable, and practical. His feelings run deep, even if he hasn't expressed them to you yet. He may have already planned out your life together! If this is your guy, you know that he is a man of his word and you’ve experienced his dependability.
He will be formal in his approach to courting you, always asking permission first and showing you every courtesy. If you catch him whispering with your parent, he may just be asking for your hand.
7. INFP — idealistic and affectionate
The idealistic INFP will have an image in his head of the perfect girl to marry.
He'll carry around his shopping list in his mind until he finds "the one." If you check all his boxes, he will open up to you in a way he can't with others. His goals are harmony and connection, so you expect massive doses of encouragement and affection from this guy — and kissy face emojis! Lucky you: he'll make you feel like you're the only person in the world.
8. INFJ — mysterious and thoughtful
Who wants a soulmate? The INFJ does! He’s looking for a love that's deep and abiding; he wants someone to complete him.
He might be a bit mysterious and withdrawn at first, but he'll be devoted and all in with the right woman. If that's you, you're going to get eloquent poetry and handwritten cards — even breathtaking direct messages. He will thoughtfully implement his vision of your beautiful life together.
If you've figured out your man's type and his behavior's a match, you can rest easy. Enjoy what you have together, and don't second-guess it.
If you're still perplexed, be patient and invest in a little more observation. Of course, the only real way to find out is to ask him.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified life and career coach who works with burnt-out individuals to reconnect to what matters, find their perfect work, and create more joy, meaning, and success.
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