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Woman Goes To Office Party With Friend's Boyfriend As His 'Date' — Her Friend Wants Nothing To Do With Her

Photo: Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock
couple dancing and drinking at party

"I just want to say that I know this sounds crazy, and in hindsight, this whole thing was obviously a ridiculously bad idea, however, I'm not sure if I'm the one at fault for it," a woman started her confessional posted to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA).

The subreddit is an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them.

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She explained that her friend is now angry after attending her boyfriend's office party as his date.

In her Reddit post, the woman wrote that her friend, Beth, 27, has been with her boyfriend, Michael, for the past nine months.

Since Beth and Michael started dating, she has become close friends with him as well.

While she was in town at the beginning of December, Michael had been talking about the company he recently started working for and that it reminds him of an "old boys club."

"He was having quite a hard time bonding with his team, especially his boss," she wrote. 

"He talked about the upcoming Christmas party and then said his team all night because they tended to tease him about him not understanding their conversations."

While Michael was explaining a popular vacation destination that many of his colleagues have been to before, the woman interjected, telling him she's vacationed there before.

She began explaining certain things about the destination that Michael didn't understand, but his colleagues would.

"He suddenly suggested that I come to his Christmas party with him and help him bridge the gap with his colleagues. Beth immediately agreed."

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The woman made sure to receive Beth's blessing before attending the office party with her boyfriend.

Before attending Michael's office party as his date, the woman made sure to ask Beth multiple times if the arrangement was fine with her.

The woman, who has a fiancé, shared that she'd spoken to Beth "three times over the phone," where she promised it was not a problem.

After receiving her friend's blessing, the woman and Michael attended his office party.

"Michael and I were not physical AT ALL but we are friends so it was fun to hang out, and his team [is] exactly what you'd expect, a little out of touch and immature but good fun for an evening," she explained.

Afterward, Michael thanked her repeatedly for attending with him and even sent her a bouquet of flowers to show his appreciation.

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While the woman didn't think anything of it, she soon realized that Beth had been "ghosting" her.

"I sent her several texts to meet up while I was in town and she ignored my calls and messages."

When Christmas rolled around, and she sent Beth a "Merry Christmas" message, that's when she finally responded, though the reply wasn't what the woman anticipated.

"She replied with a wall of text saying I had [the] nerve to try to be her friend after I completely destroyed her self-esteem and how she can't believe I actually went to the party."

When she pointed out that Beth had been the one who'd given her the blessing after checking in multiple times, Beth rebutted that she should've known going to the office party with her boyfriend would make her feel bad.

Beth also pointed out that she was hurt that Michael used her to make his colleagues like him.

"I'll admit I suspected it did make her feel bad, but when she was pushing me to do it anyway I presumed she'd put her own feelings aside," she recalled.

The woman's fiancé argued that she shouldn't feel bad and that Beth should've been upfront about her feelings in the beginning.

However, her other friends agree that she should've just declined out of "solidarity."

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Most people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).

"You gave her plenty of time to say something the 7 times you asked if it was alright. If she can't communicate that she's uncomfortable BEFORE you went, then that's her own problem," one user wrote.

Another user added, "She should have said something and he shouldn't even have asked that."

"What type of person doesn't have the emotional empathy to understand that their [significant other] would be hurt by them asking a friend to be their date to impress people?"

"Why would she immediately agree if she didn't like the idea? You also asked her multiple times and she never spoke up. She can't expect you to read her mind," a third user chimed in.

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.

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