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Her house, her rules?
By Zayda Slabbekoorn — Written on Dec 26, 2022
“He called me a lazy b—ch. I told him I didn’t have time for arguing and went back to working,” a woman told Reddit, recalling her heated argument with her boyfriend.
The 30-year-old woman took to the AITA, or r/AmITheA–hole, thread on Reddit to get viewers' opinions on whether or not she was the “A–hole” for being honest with her boyfriend about needing him to pick up the slack on chores for a couple of months.
As a small business owner doing everything on her own, this Reddit user has her schedule down pat.
With years of sacrifice and hard work, she has a great idea of what is within her capabilities and what is not — November and December are two months where work ramps up and she sets her priorities to work.
When her 35-year-old boyfriend made the decision to move into her house, she was clear with her expectations and schedule.
The pair decided to discuss house responsibilities — dishes, trash, and other chores were divided up equally between the two of them.
Before move-in, she reminded him that he’d have to pick up the slack on chores during her two busiest months of the year.
With her boyfriend working full-time, at around 37 hours a week, and her small business requiring full-time or more hours, the couple is relatively busy.
When the holiday season was on the horizon, she continued to remind her boyfriend that she’d have to work 12 to 18-hour days soon — meaning the house chores would be his responsibility.
After dismissing several conversations about chores, he ultimately said, “he doubted” she’d actually work that much.
When November rolled around, her work quickly picked up — spending hours and hours in her office all day, she was looking forward to her dedicated rest month in January.
Unfortunately, her stress continued into her personal life outside the office.
Mid-November, the couple had an argument where her boyfriend complained about her “chores not being done,” but again she reminded him of their previous conversations.
“He said that he thought I wasn’t being serious and told me there’s no way he’d do 100% of chores because he’s working too.”
When he refused to do the chores, even after their past agreement, she let it be — they’d be fine left undone.
“That’s how it was when I lived alone, no problem, I don’t make much mess anyway.”
Ultimately, her boyfriend seemed upset with being dismissed — ironic.
With her demanding work schedule only getting busier, the pair hadn’t had much time alone together outside of passing. After deciding her chores would simply be left undone, she was confused when her boyfriend was still getting “more and more p-ssed off”.
One evening, her boyfriend blew up at her over the state of the house and her undone chores.
“He said I had to have a better work-life balance,” the user typed, “and to grow up because the house was a mess.”
For what seemed like the hundredth time, she reminded her boyfriend that if the house was a mess, that was on him.
Barely leaving her office all day, something she anticipated with several holiday seasons under her belt, she knew her household work would have to be put on hold.
Despite her open communication, he was angry — “He called me a lazy b—tch," she typed.
After multiple attempts and reminders about their situation, she told him she “didn’t have time for arguing," and returned to her office for work.
Even after she left, her boyfriend was not finished with the argument about chores.
“He stood in front of my locked office door, shouting how he couldn’t believe I was being serious about not doing chores – it was an a**hole move to leave it all to him.”
Commenters wholeheartedly disagree, believing he was the real a—hole for dismissing her initial communication about the chores in her own house.
“CUT YOUR LOSSES,” another one enthusiastically writes, “Babe, you own a house. He doesn’t and thus had a default position of moving into your place. He doesn’t respect the work that bought the house he’s now living in.”
Successful as a business and homeowner, it seems like this Reddit user's life was much more peaceful before her boyfriend started micromanaging the chore list on the fridge.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango. They cover topics ranging from pop culture analysis to human interest stories. They are currently based in East Lansing, MI. Catch up with them on their Instagram or TikTok.