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Woman Shares Husband's 'Attempt' To Put Away Silverware & Gets Warned That It Could Be A Bigger Marital Problem

Photo: Dmitry Galaganov / Shutterstock / Reddit
Washing dishes, drawer of silverware

A photo posted on the “r/mildlyinfuriating” subreddit shows a drawer of silverware put away horribly — thrown all over the tray and without any of them in the right spots.

The caption of the post was “Husband attempted to put the silverware away,” but many Redditors in the comments shared that there was much more to this than meets the eye.

People claimed that the husband threw the silverware all over the place on purpose.

“This is not an attempt to put silverware away…” the top comment read.

Putting silverware away is not a difficult task, especially if you already have a tray dedicated to organizing them once they’re washed and ready to be stored.

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Unfortunately, for one man, it’s either the hardest thing in the world or he’s been eating with his hands for his entire life.

Redditors, however, claim there’s a secret third thing called “weaponized incompetence” that the husband is employing in this situation.

“Weaponized incompetence” is basically when someone performs a task wrong on purpose or claims they have no knowledge of how to do it in order for someone else to do it for them.

For example, throwing silverware all over the tray and pretending not to know the right way to do it so your wife does it for you and you never have to do it again.

“This is an attempt to never have to put it away again,” wrote another user.

“Exactly my thought. [Original Poster] your husband knows d--n well how to do this. He half a--es it so you don't ask him to do it again. He gets out of helping with housework and you gain more stress because you have to do everything,” replied a third. “Men like this are trash.”

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The wife noticed all of the “weaponized incompetence” claims and responded.

In response to a comment that read, “That's a tactic so he doesn't have to do it anymore. That's when I grab him by the ear and tell him to put it away the right way!” she agreed.

“It’s absolutely this- just like he pretends to not know how to fix the wifi,” she wrote.

Although she seems to be leaning into it and agreeing with the people of Reddit, her other comments don’t give off an air of concern as the other commenters do.

“I sent him this picture and asked him if he was okay,” she wrote in another comment. “We had a good laugh- I said I would put the dishes away days ago so I did deserve this.”

Despite her clear lack of concern, Redditors continued to press her and claimed that this was a serious issue she should address.

“This isn't as cute as you think it is,” someone commented.

She defended her husband, saying “Yeah we split up responsibilities and this one is mine, he’s relatively competent otherwise.”

She claims that it was just a joke and agrees with some that everyone is taking the photo far too seriously.

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However, YourTango expert Keya Murthy claims that it is something that should be taken seriously.

Keya Murthy, a Parenting and Relationship Coach with YourTango, believes that problems like these can lead to a build-up of resentment.

“When a person does poorly so they are never again asked to do that chore, that is childish. Kids do that,” she said.

If this was done as a joke by the husband in order to get back at her for not finishing her chores, then maybe he should communicate that with her so this doesn’t turn into a pattern.

“‘Weaponized incompetence’ is a tactic applied by someone with a superiority complex,” Murthy explains. “This is a partner who believes they are somehow better than the other and deserve more and an easier lifestyle.”

Both partners, in this case, should take care that these playful jokes don’t into truly harmful behavior.

“Communication is the best way to handle this,” she says. “Let them know that you struggle alone with the upkeep of the household and you need help and support from your partner.”

If they follow Murthy’s advice then maybe next time, all of the silverware will be placed in the right spot.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.

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