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Selfish or justified?
By Zayda Slabbekoorn — Last updated on Oct 17, 2023
“He told me he had put aside money for Christmas decorations, food, gifts, the [three] kids' needs, etc. The money in total was $100,” a woman begins her post in Reddit's "AITA" subreddit.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! While festive and fun, Christmas can also be one of the most money-draining times of the year.
A National Retail Foundation report reveals that the average American family spends just around $830 per year during Christmas time.
This mom understands just that — she took to the AITA forum on Reddit to see if she was being unreasonable for trying to plan a family Christmas alone with a $100 budget from her husband.
After planning a trip with his best friend overseas, this woman's husband left her $100 to spend for their family's Christmas.
Constantly busy managing the home and her three children, it’s her husband that works to bring in the family’s income. With him bringing in an “okay salary,” typically the family is relatively well off.
However, her husband decided to tighten the grip on all family spending prior to the holidays to save money for his trip to the World Cup overseas.
As if it wasn’t expensive enough, he also offered to pay for airfare for his best friend and his girlfriend to join him — leaving his wife at home alone with her kids for Christmas.
With this incredible expense and the holidays just around the corner, the husband soothed his wife’s worries, assuring her that he had “put money aside for Christmas decorations, food, gifts, kids' needs, etc.”
She was mortified when her husband revealed he’d saved only $100 for Christmas expenses.
“He told me to just 'take it,' but I said that if he decided to leave me with just $100 bucks, then I won’t be doing anything for Christmas.”
After unresolved arguments about prioritizing the family over his friend’s travel, leaving his family for Christmas, and not properly saving for the kid’s holiday experience — the husband ultimately left for Qatar.
Now home alone with her kids, she continued to fume over past conversations with her husband. “He said he rarely ever gets to do what he wants and so I shouldn’t judge him,” the mom writes. He considers all the money he makes to be "his money" that he should be able to spend it however he pleases.
Cleaning the house, she found the envelope with the $100 dollars and a note from him: “Make it work.”
Furious all over again, she messaged him saying, “I won’t be doing anything for Christmas with this little money, period.”
Not only would it be next to impossible to cover the children’s presents, but she’d also have to take away from the kids’ decorations, food, holiday school party supplies, and tons more — all because he prioritized thousands of dollars in airfare for his friend and friend’s girlfriend.
Absolutely livid, her husband bombarded her with responses, attacking her for her ‘selfishness’.
“He just kept sending angry message after another, calling me “spoiled”, telling me to stop living like I was still in my parent's house, and trying to rob the kids of enjoying the holidays like the other kids.”
In shock at her husband’s unwillingness to understand, she ignored the text messages.
Pleading for help, she ends her Reddit story with her husband's last response, saying “he’s saying I’m punishing him for going and trying to guilt him using his own money.”
Comments in the thread agree that the mom is definitely not in the wrong.
One commenter says, “This sounds like financial abuse. Why is it ‘his’ money when you’re in charge of household admin and childcare, while he waltzes off with his friends to pay thousands to watch [people]...kick a ball around a stadium?”
“He would rather pay for his buddy and his [girlfriend] to travel than provide his kids with a decent holiday,” another user shockingly responds, “Are you sure you want to be with someone who put his friend and friend’s girlfriend over you and your kids?”
Clearly, Reddit viewers have rallied together to assure this mom that her husband is absolutely the real problem and that she and her kids deserve better.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango. They cover topics ranging from pop culture analysis to human interest stories. Thet can be found on Instagram or TikTok.