After A Teen Girl Rejected & Ghosted A Boy, His Mom Called Her Mom & Forced Her To Talk To Him Again

Who is in the wrong?

teen girl in purple sweater holding phone Iren_Geo / Shutterstock
Advertisement

Chances are, if you’ve found yourself in the modern dating world, you’ve participated in "ghosting culture." Often, without any notice, one person in a relationship unexpectedly goes no-contact — leaving the other person wondering if they’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. 

While almost 30% of people admit to ghosting someone they’ve dated, how can almost 75% believe that it’s an “inappropriate way to end a relationship?" The answer is clear — being ghosted sucks. Regardless of whether or not you’ve ghosted someone before, having to deal with rejection is difficult. 

Advertisement

There might be something even worse than being ghosted, though — having your mom intervene.

After his mom reached out, a teen girl was forced to maintain contact with a boy she ghosted. 

In a Reddit post to the Relationships forum, a 15-year-old admitted to ghosting a boy in her immediate friend group after things got awkward when he confessed he had feelings for her. 

“I very awkwardly rejected him,” the teen girl explained, “he played it off as best as he could, but things got awkward very fast.” 

Rejection is a difficult thing to deal with — especially for young people who are just beginning to navigate the murky waters of love. It can hurt confidence and self-identity in a way that sticks throughout formative years. So while we’re often quick to judge, most of us have been in this boy’s shoes before. 

Advertisement

RELATED: Woman Finds Out The Guy She Ghosted When She Was 19 Is Now Interviewing Her For A Job She 'Desperately Needs'

After things got awkward following his romantic proposal, the teen girl stopped responding to the boy’s texts. 

After a couple more days of texting back and forth, it was clear the two teens would not be able to go back to the casual friendship they enjoyed before he confessed his feelings. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable by their strange relationship and admitted she stopped responding to him in the face of discomfort. 

“I know it’s not nice,” the girl confessed. “But I ghosted him.” 

While many conversations about ghosting take place outside of young relationships like this one, a common denominator seems to remain true: When one person is not ready, able, or comfortable discussing a topic with another, ghosting can be a quick solution to escape an awkward situation. What on its face seems like rejection, might just be the ghoster's inability to be forthcoming and vulnerable with their feelings.

Advertisement

Ghosting is complex and the behavior isn't always a clear-cut right or wrong scenario. 

Many people who’ve experienced being ghosted link it to feelings of rejection, meaning it can be a delicate situation to discuss. Oftentimes, uncomfortable feelings provoke unwarranted reactions outside of our typical nature. Whether it’s from a failed job interview or a failed relationship, almost everyone understands the feeling of rejection. Phrases like "my stomach dropped" or "my heart ached" encapsulate exactly the desperate feeling. That’s because social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain — meaning there’s an inherently biological link between rejection and pain. 

So, think about a time when you dealt with a breakup or didn’t get the job offer you’d been dreaming about for years — okay, now think about that same feeling as your 15-year-old self. 

Many TikTok videos capture the harsh nature of ghosting in the modern dating world — suggesting that it’s “inappropriate” and “immature” to treat another person as if they don’t deserve your attention. 

   

   

RELATED: What My Therapist Told Me About Ghosting Changed My Whole Perspective

Advertisement

It seems this Reddit teen’s mother had a similar viewpoint.

After being contacted by this boy’s mother, she was furious that her daughter decided to go “no contact.” 

Despite her discomfort, the girl felt forced to contact the boy again — to appease both her mother and his. “He apparently got his mom to message my mom,” she wrote, “asking why I haven’t been responding to people. My mom got involved and told me I can’t just cut contact.” 

While some comments acknowledge the inappropriate nature of her ghosting — others acknowledge that this young girl’s decision doesn't mean she’s a bad person. 

“You do not owe this boy anything,” one user commented, “you never have to talk to someone you don’t want to in life. Sometimes being rude or ghosting is the only way you can escape these situations with boys.” 

Advertisement

For this teen, being forced to talk with the boy she ghosted was uncomfortable and ingenuine. 

A few times in her post, the teen girl described her discomfort with having to maintain a relationship with the boy she ghosted. “I’m so uncomfortable and I just don’t want to talk to him,” she desperately admitted. 

Like many of the comments under the post, TikTok creators acknowledge another side of ghosting that might paint this teen’s actions in a better light. 

   

   

RELATED: I Used To Confront People Who Ghosted Me Here’s Why I Stopped.

Advertisement

“You don’t owe toxic people or relationships anything,” @acemetaphor says in a recent TikTok, “protect yourself.”

An alternative to the ghoster being toxic, this narrative allows for vulnerable people to escape situations where they don’t feel comfortable or safe. While this specific TikToker is talking about a more intense and mature relationship — the underlying issue remains the same. 

If this teen felt too uncomfortable, there was a reason. Many commenters find the toxic person to be this girl’s mother for not acknowledging the discomfort and fear her daughter initially expressed after ghosting the boy. “Your mom is not just wrong,” one commenter explained, “she is setting you up to be abused by men throughout your life. Prioritizing catering to his feelings over your own comfort is a very dangerous precedent to set. None of this is OK.” 

Advertisement

So, while it’s easy to pick a side and blame either this young boy or girl, comments suggest that these adult parents are actually the ones in the wrong — promoting toxic relationship dynamics for their kids moving forward. 

RELATED: Woman Creates 'Exit Survey' & Sends It To Guys Who Keep Ghosting Her

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories. Catch up with them on Instagram or TikTok.