8 Things People Say In Emails That Make Them Look Instantly Weak To Everyone Else
PerfectWave | Shutterstock Truly confident, self-aware, and self-assured people don't leave room for guesswork.
Even over texts and emails, their strong-willed vibes speak for themselves. While everyone has their own definition of what weak actually means, even small things people say in emails make them look instantly weak to everyone else. Whether it's second-guessing their own opinions or letting other people control what they say and think entirely, it's obvious when someone's not secure in who they are.
Here are 8 things people say in emails that make them look instantly weak to everyone else
1. 'Let me know if this is good'
Nataliya Dmytrenko | Shutterstock
If you have to ask someone else for approval or validation on an idea that you came up with, chances are they're perceiving you as less confident. Of course, if you're brainstorming with someone or working, you might have to get a sign-off from someone else, but the most confident people don't second-guess their ideas.
They may use a phrase like "I'd love to discuss this idea with you," but they don't need someone else to tell them whether or not it's good. On top of jeopardizing other people's perceptions of their competence, second-guessing also puts their mental health at risk, as a study from Personality and Individual Differences explains.
2. 'I don't want to bother you'
If someone starts or ends an email with an apology simply for reaching out, chances are they're projecting a sense of insecurity or uncertainty. Direct communication signals confidence and competence, but "I don't want to bother you" signals insecurity and fear.
Even offline, it's often the most anxious people who tend to worry about being a burden to people, according to a study from Aging & Mental Health. Instead of operating from a palace of self-assuredness and inner security, they're apologizing for their own words and presence at the expense of their self-image.
3. 'Does that make any sense?'
When self-criticism is your brain's default, you're living with more chronic stress, pressure, and anxiety. You can't just exist as your authentic self because you're insecure and projecting that inner turmoil all the time. That's usually where a seemingly harmless phrase like "Does that make any sense?" comes from.
On top of the mental health consequences, the more someone undermines their own intelligence, the more they allow other people to believe those lies. Nobody is going to convince you that you're smart enough or confident enough. It has to come from inside.
4. 'Sorry, that was a lot'
Over-apologizing for long emails or speaking for longer than anyone else in a meeting are all ways to undermine your own credibility and personal autonomy, especially in the workplace, as clinical counselor Millie Huckabee explains.
If you want someone to care about what you have to say, whether it's a single sentence or a five-paragraph email, "Sorry, that was a lot" isn't the way to convince them that it's important.
5. 'No worries, if not'
David Gyung | Shutterstock
People who can't help but project insecurity and weakness apologize more than they need to. They're uncertain about their credibility and don't often feel secure in professional spaces, so they need to people-please and apologize a million times to compensate for those inner fears.
"No worries, if not" might seem like a harmless phrase, but especially at work, where you have to be direct and honest about what you need, it's only sabotaging personal well-being. If you need something, ask for it without apologizing. That's the key to conveying strength and confidence, and showing people how to respect you by doing it yourself.
6. 'I'm not an expert'
As psychotherapist Daniel Fryer explains, our minds are constantly noticing and judging our behaviors to figure out how we should feel. So, even if we don't feel confident or happy internally, sometimes pretending to be self-assured with a tall posture and a confident walk in a room can positively influence both how we feel and how other people perceive us.
Even when it comes to digital texts and emails, we convey competency with directness and confidence. "I'm not an expert" is only making people think you're less intelligent than you actually may be.
7. 'Sorry for the follow-up'
If someone doesn't remember to answer you or isn't managing their inbox efficiently, that's not your problem. In fact, that's the last thing you should apologize for, especially if you are in a workplace environment. Apologizing for someone else instantly makes people look weak, because instead of advocating for themselves, they're trying to protect the peace of the room.
The next time someone doesn't do what you've asked them to do or takes a long time responding to you, swap "sorry" for a phrase like "I'd appreciate a response here."
8. 'I just wanted to check in'
InesBazdar | Shutterstock
If you're asking for something or making a request, but using the word "just," you're undermining your own credibility. Especially for women in the workplace, making yourself smaller and dulling your directness isn't making you seem more confident and secure.
Of course, these filler words tend to sabotage comprehension and understanding in conversations, whether they're happening online or in person, but they also make the person speaking seem less competent.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
