People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Exhausting Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Bricolage | Shutterstock Everyone can be tiresome at times, but truly mentally and emotionally exhausting people are on a whole other level. You can usually point them out by the phrases they drop in casual conversation.
According to lecturer Metta Karuna, "The human brain evolved with a 'negativity bias.'" This is why negative thoughts and events tend to have a greater impact on our psychological state. Though strong people push through and stay mostly positive, overwhelmingly exhausting people are more likely to say these phrases more regularly.
Mentally and emotionally exhausting people often use these phrases in casual conversation:
1. 'This isn't fair'
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It isn't easy dealing with failure or rejection. It may be a normal part of life, but unfortunately, exhausting people don't always see it that way. Because they tend to look at things from their own perspective, they often say, "This isn't fair."
Still, it's important to pick yourself up. Yes, once the ego has been bruised, it's hard to recover. But failure isn't the end of the world. It's just a bump in the road that usually leads to something greater.
2. 'You just don't understand'
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Emotionally exhausting people haven't mastered their emotions. They don't know how to put their biases aside. As a result, these individuals lash out and jump to conclusions.
If an exhausting person feels compelled to say, "You don't understand me," a wise person isn't about to tell them otherwise. There's no arguing with someone who's convinced they are right.
3. 'It's not my fault'
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In an ideal world, we'd never make mistakes. Having master control over our emotions, we'd know what to say and how to act in every situation. Unfortunately, life doesn't work the way we want it to. Filled with its ups and downs, there's bound to be a time when mistakes happen.
While those who are accountable flourish even after setbacks, emotionally exhausting people crumble. You can usually tell it's happening when they say, "It's not my fault," showing a lack of self-awareness.
4. 'No one ever helps me'
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Feeling alone happens from time to time. It doesn't matter how great a support system you have. Once tragedy hits, loneliness has a way of seeping in. The difference is that when this happens, some people take time to process, while exhausting people place blame.
Rather than seeking help, exhausting people often look for emotional punching bags. This is why they're quick to say, "No one ever helps me." They aren't really looking for resolution when they can just find someone to absorb their pain.
5. 'I knew this would happen'
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Exhausting people are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because they want to confirm their negative biases, it's no wonder that they're gleeful when life turns out as they expected. It doesn't matter if it's bad news. They want an excuse to lash out.
They add insult to the injury when they say, "I knew this would happen." They aren't concerned about being helpful as long as they feel like they're right. This is why they announce it to the whole world. Without realizing it, being right is another way emotionally exhausting people protect their fragile ego.
6. 'Everyone is against me'
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People who are tiring can be pretty dramatic. In their worldview, if you aren't with them, you're against them. This is why they're quick to snap and say, "Everyone is against me." It doesn't matter if they are clearly in the wrong.
They aren't really asking for understanding. So, when manipulation doesn't work, the next step is gaslighting. It's ugly, but they're willing to play dirty if it means gaining a few sympathy points.
7. 'You always do this'
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Since people who are exhausting to those around them are almost always looking either for sympathy or someone to blame, they're quick to say, "You always do this," to get their way.
They don't care if you've only done it once. In their eyes, once is enough to start a guilt trip. Should you find yourself on the receiving end of this unfortunate behavior, "Rather than giving in to manipulation or trying to reason your way out," therapist Alicia Hawley-Bernardez, PhD, LMSW, wrote, it's better to just "be direct and calm when expressing your feelings."
8. 'What's the point in trying?'
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For your own sake, it's probably best not to expect an exhausting person to try again after they've failed at something. Fearing failure and another bruise to the ego, they'd rather say "What's the point in trying?" than stick their necks out again.
In their eyes, if it didn't work out the first time, it won't work out the second. Even if it means remaining stagnant, so long as their pride appears intact, everything else can crumble for all they care.
9. 'That'll never work'
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Most people want their loved ones to win. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for an emotionally exhausting person. Unlike others, they thrive on ego. Feeling superior is what makes them satisfied.
So, when someone threatens that sense of superiority, they can't help but say, "That'll never work." It doesn't matter if the plan is already set in motion. Tiring people will do everything in their power to make you doubt yourself. They'd rather convince you it won't work out than admit they're feeling self-conscious.
10. 'They made me act this way'
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Unable to handle the guilt of being wrong, people who are very exhausting to be around would rather blame everyone else but themselves. This is why saying, "They made me act this way," is something they say way too often.
Regardless of what was said, accountable people take responsibility, while exhausting people place blame. Good luck getting them to admit it, but it comes from ego.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
