13 Subtle Signs Someone Doesn't Want To Be Your Friend

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13 Subtle Signs Someone Doesn't Want To Be Your Friend
Self

It's not you, it's them.

Whether it's someone new that you'd like to start a friendship with or someone who's been in your circle for a long time, sometimes it's easy to miss the signs someone doesn't want to be your friend.

Friendships are such a good thing because they're a whole support system that you would do anything for and who would do anything for you. Friends are also a chance to escape from your reality and have fun once in a while. 

Unfortunately, not all friendships last forever.

RELATED: Ending A Friendship Is Perfectly OK — It Means You're Growing

Are there are some friends that have been making you reconsider that friendship status? 

If you want these mind games to end, here are the signs someone doesn't want to be your friend.

They might not outright say anything, but some of their actions seem to talk for them. 

1. They don’t reply to your messages.

You probably have sent many texts asking what your friend is doing and seeing if they want to hang out. Or maybe just sending them a text about something weird that happened to you earlier, just something to start a conversation with. 

But there never is a response from their end, or if there is there isn’t much emotion behind the emojis they send. And bringing it up with them in person, they just brush it off that they were tired and couldn’t respond. 

2. They cancel plans rapidly.

Finally, you and your friends are going to hang out later this week, and you couldn’t be more excited. But the day before the big hangout, some of them cancel out, which isn’t a surprise. 

Plans in the past have been rescheduled but it never leaves that stage. And they always seem to come up with excuses that start to become recycled. 

3. You have to reach out first.

When things happen in your friend’s life, you always show your support and offer a lending shoulder. But when it comes to things in your life where friends are important for support, they conveniently are M.I.A. 

Or maybe when plans aren’t going to be canceled, you are the one that’s reaching out and making sure they know the latest information. And when they are in charge, you still are the one reaching out first to ask about updates.

4. Their answers are short.

Conversations seem to not go on forever when you’re with your friend. When you talk they are sometimes looking off in the distance and when it’s time for them to engage in the conversation they just respond with two worded sentences or sentences that don’t keep the conversation going. 

Kind of like if someone was upset and they don’t want to bother giving the person a reason to stick around longer than they need to. Or kind of like making sure you don’t want to bother starting up a conversation again. 

5. They always seem to be busy.

You always drop everything for your friend when they need help, and they appreciate it. But they always are tied up when it’s your turn.

Being busy is part of the human life, and making someone stop what they’re doing when it’s something that didn’t need attention right away is cruel. Yet they never return the favor and come up with excuses that make you think you’re not as important to them as they are to you. 

6. You put in more effort then they do.

Has there been a time where you are the only one bringing the energy? And your friend is not reciprocating that energy you’re giving off and totally brings down the mood? 

You gotta get away before your energy drains completely. Because why should the friendship rest only on your shoulders? 

RELATED: 12 Types Of Negative People That Lead To One-Sided, Toxic Friendships

7. What they tell you doesn’t add up.

Continuing with canceling plans, their excuses seem a little off. For example, they say they have to spend time with their family but you see on someone else’s Instagram story that they’re spending time at the club. 

Or maybe they said they were sick but then you see them at the local coffee shop with a different group laughing away. At this point, you should call yourself Sherlock for putting the pieces together and finding the truth secretly. 

8. They don't follow you on social media.

Social media in all its forms are always going to be brought up in conversations. Because it’s hard to not talk about that video of the cat meowing for its treats or the crazy post made by that one celebrity. 

Yet your friend has yet to follow you on any of your accounts. You obviously follow them and you send posts to their DM’s and they sometimes reply, yet that notification of a new follower never has their username in it. 

9. They don’t engage in your stories.

What’s worse, getting one-word answers or not getting any talk at all? No matter what the conversation topic is they never show any sign of listening. 

No grunts of agreement, no nodding, and no moving of the mouth especially. Sorry to say but they won’t be listening to anything you say at all. 

10. They give advice that seems too specific.

The complete opposite of not engaging in conversation, they tend to over-step and make sure their advice is the only thing in your mind when you ask for advice. Or sometimes you didn’t ask for advice and they give it anyway. 

And when they give the advice, it feels like a parent scolding their child, which you very much are not. They want to show off that they know more than you, but do they really?

11. Their politeness comes from a distance.

After reading all the signs, you probably are thinking to yourself “But they aren’t being rude about it, they are super nice to me all the time?”

But think about this, do they let you talk and will keep the conversation but once there is a sign of leaving they take it? Or when they make plans, it seems like you’re the last to be invited and when you’re hanging out with them they only come to see you with a fake smile? 

12. They aren’t as enthusiastic about the things you have in common.

One thing that gets people to become friends is the things they have in common. Because what good way to talk about your many interests than with your friends? 

However, when you bring up these things, they never are on the same level of excitement as you are. And you know they love these things as much as you do. 

13. They only want to talk about themselves.

The different side of the coin, maybe each conversation is lead only by your friend. And they never give you a chance to share your stories. 

Or when you do get a chance to share, they somehow make it about them and you start to wonder if you even said something. They clearly want all the attention on them, so buckle up for the back seat. 

If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to leave your friend behind. And although it may be hard and you don’t want there to be bad blood between you, it’s something that needs to be done. 

RELATED: How To End A Toxic Friendship (Without Ghosting Like A Jerk)

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Isabell Tenorio is a YourTango editorial intern.

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