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Women know best.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Jul 25, 2018
Men might not like coming to women to get dating advice, but that's dumb. No one is going to think a man has any less sexual or romantic prowess just because he's looking for some insights from someone who identifies as being female.
If anything, it speaks to your understanding of women as a whole if you're man enough to know that you don't know as much about women as you would like to and that you are willing to do your homework. And what men think about their own prowess will determine their success in dating.
If you ask a woman for advice on how to date another woman, you're immediately going to be made privy to a perspective that you would have never have been able to access on your own at all. Women see the world differently from men, and while that's part of what makes the man-woman dynamic so much fun, it can also be a source of serious frustration, particularly when it comes to romance.
Ask any man worth his salt and he will tell you that the best dating advice he has ever received has probably come from another woman. Lest you doubt me, check out what the men of the AskMen subreddit had to say about the subject. They were more than stoked to share the best pieces of dating advice they learned about their relationships with women, from women themselves.
1. Use your ears.
"Sometimes we just want you to listen. Don't try to help, don't try to do anything other than just be there and listen."
2. Listening is sometimes better than doing.
"If I’m thirsty, I don’t want you to bring me a glass of water. I want you to sympathize. I want you to say: ‘Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I, too, have had a dry mouth."
3. Don't try to "win" kissing.
"Take your time when kissing, it's not a race."
4. Learn her body.
"I had a woman show me the proper way to 'pull' a woman’s hair. Another one showed me the sensitivity of the neck and behind the ear. All great stuff. The women love it."
5. Outsource your dating profile.
"Not so much advice, but my dating profile was more or less created by my female friends. I made mine initially and apparently it was terrible. They did an excellent job."
6. Words matter.
"There’s a big difference between a nice guy and a good guy."
7. Don't try to change her.
"You can't change a woman's mind, you can only change her mood."
8. Being good in bed is a virtue.
"The importance of foreplay when having sex..."
9. Grooming is for everyone.
"Edging up your beard is the difference in looking good and looking like a neckbeard/wilderperson."
10. Feet matter, too.
"That your footwear is a big deal."
11. Women appreciate effort.
"Probably fashion advice. I wear slim fit jeans now because the women I'm friends with said that women like that they show off the profile. (Also, my roommate wears them and suggested it, so credit where credit is due.) Also, just how much women appreciate matching clothes. I put a lot more thought into how the colors of my clothes coordinate now, and even go so far as to have different color Chucks that I can match with my shirts, because I know that, often subconsciously, women really like seeing that you put some thought into your outfit."
12. Chemistry counts.
"I was a late bloomer and I really didn't understand dating for a couple years at the beginning. A female friend I had a crush on told me that I was objectively more attractive than her ex but we didn't have the same chemistry."
13. Be confident.
"Women are attracted to confidence."
14. Girls are people, too.
"Treat her like a person. She might know more about sports than you do."
15. Don't underestimate positivity.
"Women will like you if you're not negative/cynical/sarcastic."
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the love and dating advice show, Becca After Dark, on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.