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Sometimes the coldest shoulders come from the warmest hearts.
By Emily Ratay — Written on Dec 21, 2017
I am realllly good at giving the silent treatment, and not just because my horoscope says I am. I find giving the cold shoulder to be highly effective, mainly because people find it impossible to go without my attention for very long... Just kidding.
But take it from me, the silent treatment can get you somewhere, even if you’re arguing with an incredibly stubborn astrological sign.
My boyfriend is a Taurus and my zodiac sign is Aquarius, so when we fight, it’s similar to a standoff. Neither of us wants to cave, and we both want to be the one who starts the arguing because the one who talks first always wins (in our arguments at least).
But, like I said, the silent treatment is effective because the other person usually can’t stand the silence for too long, my boyfriend included. And when we give each other the cold shoulder, I always win because it drives him nuts to that I can match his stubbornness with even more stubbornness of my own.
Did I mention that I love to win? Because I do, I definitely do.
But I don’t just give people the silent treatment because I can. Well, I mean, I can give people the silent treatment, but that’s not the reason why I do it.
If I’m angry enough at someone to ice them out, I’m doing it for a good reason, most likely because I don’t want someone who makes me that angry hanging around in my life, and chances are, that if it's happened once, this won’t be the only time they make me want to shut them out.
But while I, as an Aquarius, might be a pro at giving people the silent treatment in order to get rid of negativity in my life, people who fall under other zodiac signs may choose to do so for other reasons.
Take my sister, for example. She's a Pisces and normally has a sweet, warm personality. When she’s hurt, it feels like her heart is broken. She hates when her favorite people are mad at her or the other way around.
So, when she gives someone the silent treatment, she's doing it to protect herself from more heartbreak and sadness, at least until she can figure out how to approach the situation.
So, while our two signs may mean we're more different than we are the same when it comes to how we handle disagreements in our relationships, we both tend to opt for giving the silent treatment until we figure out our next move.
My point is, don’t judge someone for going into radio silence at times without knowing the reasons for their behavior — or what their zodiac sign is.
Astrology goes much deeper than your sign’s basic personality traits.
To prove it, if my examples above didn’t already do that for you, here are the signs ranked from most to least likely to give you the silent treatment.
1. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 19)
Sagittarius is really good at the silent treatment, but not because she wants you to know just how upset she is with you. In fact, there’s a good chance she isn’t even thinking about what made her so mad in the first place anymore. And not because it doesn’t matter or because she sincerely forgot, because if she calls you a friend and you show her you’re not her friend, she’ll show you that you don’t matter anymore.
Sagittarius can be cruel, but only because she’s so cold. Yes, there are ways to get back into her good graces again, but know that when she’s giving you the silent treatment, it’s much more serious than if she’s yelling at you. At least if she yells, you know she cares enough about your relationship or friendship to let you know she’s hurt. When you move into silent treatment zone, she honestly doesn’t even care about you anymore.
2. AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
When Aquarius gives you the silent treatment, expect it to be permanent and expect it to hurt — at least, until YOU apologize. Aquarius isn’t someone to run away from what’s bothering her and if it’s her fault, she will own up to her mistakes. But if whatever is going on between you two is your fault and you’ve either given her a half-baked apology or none at all, she will give you the silent treatment until you wise up.
One thing people often forget about Aquarius is that she is a master at the cold shoulder. Not only will she give you the silent treatment to your face, she’ll leave your texts on read and even ice out your mutual friends if they try to intervene. She doesn’t need any of that kind of negativity in her life and she certainly doesn’t need a friend who can’t admit when she’s wrong, so say goodbye to this sign’s friendship if you’ve hurt her and won't make it right.
3. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
You won’t necessarily lose a Virgo for good when she gives you the silent treatment, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less when you get it from her.
Virgo puts up with a LOT every single day and she tries to handle everything life throws her way with grace. And even though she knows how to take other people’s crap pretty well, icing you out is still her go-to reaction when she’s upset.
When Virgo gets angry she tends to go straight for the silence mode. It’s not because she hates you as much that she doesn’t even want to talk to you. Or see you. Or think about you.
Virgo likes the silent treatment so much because it gives her an excuse to step away from everything she’s dealing with, including and beyond the argument you had with her, and reevaluate it all. Once she steps away from her stress, it helps her clear her mind and work it all out.
4. CAPRICORN (December 20 - January 19)
Capricorn may have a much higher tolerance than others when someone pisses her off, but that doesn’t mean you can walk all over her and she’ll never get upset. In fact, she will warn you that you’re starting to rub her the wrong way a few times before giving up and giving you the silent treatment. In her defense, she DID try to be adult about it before shutting you out completely.
To Capricorn, yelling or getting worked up when she’s upset just seems childish. She feels that if she can’t handle her emotions in a grown-up way, then she can’t handle them at all. She prefers to step away from the problem altogether, shutting you out until she decides what to do. This isn’t a common thing for this sign, so when it happens, know that she’s pretty darn upset with you and/or the situation.
5. PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
When Pisces gives you the silent treatment, it’s because she feels like she’s been slapped across the face emotionally. Pisces chooses all of her relationships and friendships with care and love, so when someone hurts her enough for her to give them the silent treatment, she feels like she needs to take a step back and really think about her relationship with that person and how valuable it is to her.
Pisces doesn’t like being mad at anyone at all, so it goes without saying that the silent treatment is not something she takes lightly. But she does know her feelings are just as important as everyone else’s.
She uses this method to let herself heal without letting the other person try to persuade her into thinking it’s no big deal. Once she regains her composure, Pisces will want to talk it out with you heart-to-heart.
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6. SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
The last thing Scorpio ever wants to do is lose a friend, and it’s not uncommon for her to fight tooth and nail to keep you in her life. It’s only when she’s giving you the silent treatment that you know she might not consider you a friend any longer.
Scorpio is a faithful friend, but she will give you the cold shoulder if you give her a reason to think she isn’t as special a part of your own life as you are of hers. In fact, if she’s giving you the cold shoulder, chances are she’s erasing you from her life as we speak. You won’t see the silent treatment very often from her, and if you ever do, you have a few precious moments to apologize and get her to talk to you before it’s too late.
Once it’s too late with a Scorpio, it’s too late for good. She isn’t one to forgive and forget. Her anger is well-placed and serious.
7. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus is the type of person to change her mind halfway through an argument and reroute the whole thing, all because she thought of something she hadn’t before.
Being the stubborn bull that she is, it’s common for her to shut you out with the silent treatment before hearing your side of the story. All she knows is that you’ve hurt her feelings and she doesn’t want to talk to you right now.
Once she has ammo against you or a really good argument to make, she’ll thaw out and let you have it. This can take weeks or it can take only a few hours. You won’t know until she’s sending you a flurry of texts or confronting you in the middle of dinner. She might even pretend everything is fine until she’s ready to pounce. Taurus is someone who’s both unpredictable, yet totally obvious when she’s mad.
8. GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini wishes she could be the type of person to stick to one method when she’s angry, but she really can’t. It all depends on her mood at the time. Because she’s the twin of the zodiac, expect her to flip-flop between two personalities when she’s angry, rather than just stick to one or the other. She might try to ice you out at first to prove she’s hurt, but she knows she gets more done when she confronts you.
It’s not so much that Gemini wants to pick a fight with you, but rather that she knows her words can speak a lot louder than her actions when she’s upset — and no, I don’t mean literally. Sure, she may yell at you, but her M.O. is to get it all out there all at once.
And if YOU won’t talk to HER, she’ll take it to social media, and trust me when I say she can be one mean sub-tweeter.
9. LEO (July 23 - August 22)
When Leo gets mad, she gets really mad, especially when you attack something that’s important or serious to her, like her work or her shoe collection (just kidding).
Depending on what you actually did, she isn’t someone to clam up or walk away without saying something first. If there’s one thing Leo knows how to do and do well, it's how to defend herself from people who want to tear her down.
Leo is not known to give someone the silent treatment often because she always has something to say. She might be stunned into silence at first if what you’ve said is particularly hurtful, but she won’t stay silent for long. When she finally does start talking, you better have more than a few apologies ready and waiting, because Leo is not someone you get away with insulting. And trust me, she’ll let you know that herself.
10. CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Cancer hates giving people the silent treatment and not because she would rather duke it out. Cancer is more likely to feel hurt when she’s upset or arguing with someone than she is to feel mad.
To her, giving someone the silent treatment is a way to let the other person know just how badly they wounded her, but it doesn't mean that she isn't interested in working things out. Cancer wants to talk things over as soon as they happen, not put them off until all parties have cooled down or decided the other person isn’t worth it. She values all of her friendships and relationships and giving someone the cold shoulder feels cruel for her.
Even if the relationship ends up falling apart anyway, if she's talked it out she knows she did all she could to try and patch things up.
11. ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries doesn’t do the silent treatment. In fact, I’m not even sure those two words are even in her vocabulary. When Aries is upset or hurt, she’s going to let you know.
She isn’t going to ice you out hoping you’ll eventually figure out she’s mad at you. It doesn’t matter if you intentionally hurt her or if you just made a careless mistake. Hurt an Aries and she’ll let you know just how badly you messed up.
Aries does have really good communication skills, and not just because she doesn’t let things go unmentioned when she’s angry. It doesn’t matter how the other person in question prefers to handle their problems. Aries is going to tell you what’s on her mind, whether you like it or not. This might seem like a nightmare for some, but really, you’re getting the worst of it over and done with, so, if anything, you should be thanking her for helping you out.
12. LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
The only thing Libra hates more than being in a fight with someone is the silent treatment. It makes her feel like the other person secretly hates her but won’t say it to her face, which makes her that much more upset.
I’m not saying you should do this, but if you ever wanted to punish a Libra, giving her the cold shoulder would be the most effective way to do it. Really, Libra can’t stand the silence. She wants to clear the air as soon as possible or just forget it ever happened in the first place so you can go back to being friends.
And it's not just that the silent treatment feels harsh to her, but more than that, she sucks at it. Even if she tries to ice you out, she ends up forgetting why you were fighting in the first place and texts you a few hours later just to say hey. The silent treatment just doesn’t work with her one tiny bit.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a book in the future.