Learning How To Use My Dildo Correctly Meant SO Many More Orgasms

I’m not a big fan of dildos. In the past, they used to hurt me and they would get uncomfortable after a few strokes. I’d never really enjoyed using them because it was just a few seconds and then mostly discomfort and pain.

So I never really bothered, and focused on clitoral pleasure (and orgasms) instead, for years. Then, after reading an article about sex toy safety, I threw away my old jelly/silicone dildos. I had two.

And now I realize both were way too big anyway — and that’s why I hated them.

However, I still have a nice, slimmer glass dildo with a handle long enough for me to use. (I’m short. I need a little help.) And thanks to this toy (and more lube), I’m rediscovering vaginal pleasure, and how it relates to my clitoral orgasms.

My Dildo History

My first dildo was actually a stainless steel vibrator. I didn’t really know how to get myself to orgasm back then — all I knew was that it was supposed to feel good when I put things in my vagina. I mostly used my fingers, which felt fine for my first few years of masturbation.

So then I got this vibrator and it was all bullet-like and metal-y and sleek.

I don’t remember getting much pleasure from it. It felt weird and cold and the vibrations inside my vagina didn’t do anything for me. Thankfully though, during this period I managed to find out how to have clitoral orgasms … and this is all I used it for after that.

So, even though I did get pleasure from vaginal penetration during intercourse when it came to masturbation I never really cared for it.

A little while into my relationship with M., I moved away to another city to pursue my studies and I bought two dildos for when we played together via webcam. I got a medium-sized one with a suction cup I could stick to the wall and a bigger, more traditional one. (It was quite big, considering.)

I used them sometimes, mostly when we had long-distance sex. He wanted to watch me f*ck myself, and I happily obliged.

But I never used them when I was alone and playing by myself. I used my Hitachi Magic Wand and got on with it.

Turns Out I Was Doing My Dildo ALL Wrong! 

Recent play with new partners has included lots of fingering and it's been pleasurable, too, so I started wondering if I’ve been doing my dildo wrong all this time.

Armed with my swirly pink glass (now only) dildo, I surfed Tumblr for a little fantasy booster, made sure I got good and wet ... and went at it.

And I realized that I could indeed get intense pleasure that didn’t turn into pain or annoyance after a few minutes.

Turns out, all this time, I’d been doing my dildo wrong! They were too big and not lubricated enough.

It seems I don’t need a giant fake penis to get myself off vaginally. A slimmer, more nimble piece that I can angle towards my G-spot and run in and out of my vaginal opening (F*CKING AMAZING) without much effort is perfect.

The swirlies around the shaft give me just the right kind of sensation and the glass dildo stays lubed up longer than a silicone one does (at least in my experience).

More Vaginal Pleasure = Better Orgasms 

I expanded my experimentation first to leaving the dildo inside of me while I used my Hitachi. Since I usually hold it with two hands, I didn’t move the dildo — just left it there.

That felt really, really good.

Then I thought I could start going very slowly with the dildo as I was cresting my orgasm, pushing against my top vaginal wall towards my G-spot.

That felt really, really, really good.

And then I stopped resisting the urge to f*ck myself REALLY hard at the moment of orgasm (which I usually ask my partners to do with their fingers/penis anyway) and managed to do both …

And my mind literally blew away!

I'm now exploring more of how mixing vaginal and clitoral stimulation can enhance my pleasure. I’m spending a lot more time than usual masturbating (and I already spend a lot of time masturbating as it is, so...) and trying new combinations of movement and stimulation.

It’s a bit like rediscovering my body from scratch.

A long-neglected area of my sexuality is waking up again — and honestly, I can’t get enough of it.

This article was originally published at The Story Of A. Reprinted with permission from the author.