Love, Self

If He's Not Going Out Of His Way For You — Ditch Him

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If He's Not Going Out Of His Way For You — Ditch Him

There's an epidemic among the single girls of this world: too many of them are wasting them time pining over guys who just don't give a sh*t

A condition that should have ended in tenth-grade, afflicted women will stay home, go out, cut their hair, ditch their friends, get a new wardrobe and even move states for a man who is barely lifting a finger to text them back. While we all have a person (or persons) who have a weird, unexplainable hold on our hearts, it's detrimental to our health to give them so much power. 

But they have it. Guys have all the power... Or at least that's what we think. 


One of my single girlfriends was on what might have been her fourth rant of the day about how there are just no guys out there. An avid user of Bumble, Tinder and every other dating app under the sun, her biggest complaint is that conversations go nowhere and all the guys seem to ever want is sex

"They have so many girls to choose from, and we have nothing," she sighed into her skinny gingerbread latte. 

Her complaint is valid, but not on anything real. Since the dawn of time, we've been led to believe that guys have the power to date anyone they want. The cuter and better the guy, the more options he has. If he's got a steady job, a house, no kids, and his only psychotic ex-girlfriend lives in Maine, girls are lining up to give them their number and text them a pic of their side-boob. 

But when it comes to women, we have a fine line to walk if we want massive male attention. We could go the route of sex appeal, which would give us plenty of options, but would also probably earn us a bad reputation. Because any good man who we'd actually want to date probably isn't going to bring a girl whose outfit is a crop top and a body-con skirt 6/7 times a week home to mom. 

So we try to take the high road, only to realize it's pretty slim pickings. And the eligible bachelors we do meet would rather go out with their friends than meet us for dinner. Or they set a date for Saturday and never call us again. 

What we fail to realize as women is that the power isn't in getting a date or doing something special to get a bunch of guys to notice you. The power is in saying no. 


It's being the first person to stop responding when the conversation goes dry. It's making other plans when the guy you were supposed to see tonight hasn't texted you and it's 4 PM. It's telling the guy you've been seeing that you're too tired to come over when he booty calls you after a second date. 

When you say no to the douchebags, you take your power back. You tell the world and the universe that you don't have time for that sh*t. You tell yourself that you're better than what you've been settling for. And you open yourself up to guys who are actually going to make an effort to see you. 

So if you're in a romantic situation where you're just not sure if you're being treated the way you want and you're not sure how to get your power and confidence back, say no. 

You'll be happy you did.