Photo: weheartit
Stay away from these.
By Aly Walansky — Written on Dec 21, 2016
We've said it before and we'll say it again: Some sex positions are just not for everyone. And while there are positions that are more likely to show you a good time (so to speak), there are also those that usually won't if you can't orgasm.
Positions in which you feel self-conscious are likely to impede orgasm because when you’re distracted by physical concerns, you’re unlikely to reach the level of relaxation required to climax.
"Right before orgasm, the lateral orbitofrontal cortex (the section behind the left eye responsible for sound decision-making) turns off completely. Distractions related to self-consciousness can hinder this natural response," says sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly.
The band-aid solution involves avoiding these sex positions or lowering the lights, but the long-term solution, which addresses the core issue as opposed to the symptom, involves boosting body image. If you're doing any of these 7 sex positions, your orgasm may allude you completely.
1. Missionary
Sometimes, the missionary position doesn't hit any of the right spots for a woman; therefore, it can be really difficult for her to orgasm.
"Adding a pillow under her bottom can assist with angling him against her clitoris and G-spot. She can also easily stimulate her own clitoris manually or by adding a sex toy to enhance the position and increase the likelihood of reaching climax," says Antonia Hall, MA., psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
2. Doggy Style
This position decreases the length of the vagina, which means that his penis may feel uncomfortably big.
"It also increases the likelihood of his hitting her cervix, which is painful and a serious mood killer. There's also a decreased sense of intimacy in this position. Add a pillow under her and have him angle his penis to the side where he's less likely to hit the cervix and more likely to hit the A-spot. She can turn her head to glimpse at her man, and also add manual stimulation to her clit to assist with reaching the big O," says Hall.
3. Standing Up
While it looks hot and sexy on screen, the likelihood that two people are going to match up well while standing is not great.
"This can make things awkward, which is not the surrendered mind frame a woman needs to reach orgasm. Adjustments can be made by having her lean back against furniture or stand on tip toes. She can also lube a few fingers and play with her clit or have her man add direct stimulation to take her mind back to pleasure and increase her chances of orgasming," says Hall.
While a wild ride on your man may sound like fun, this position doesn't offer connectivity and intimacy, and can be challenging to physically maneuver and maintain.
"If a guy is angled wrong, he can actually get injured by her weight thrusting down on him. Take it slow, rocking your hips gently over his lap, which can stimulate the G-spot with very little movement. Add fingers or a toy to your clit for more pleasure," says Hall.
5. 69
It's just really hard to concentrate on your own pleasure while you are concentrating on pleasuring him. But more than that, sex is very mental and the positioning of 69 lacks intimacy. It's way better to take turns performing oral sex so you can both relax and enjoy it.
6. In Water
Having sex in water can be a great fantasy, but the reality doesn't always match up.
"Being immersed can actually take natural lubrication away and leave a woman with a painful intercourse experience. There are also too many mental considerations to making the sexual experience work, plus all of the adjustments. Woman orgasm more easily when they feel relaxed and comfortable, making this more effort than it's worth," says Hall.
7. Any position that offers discomfort
All photos: weheartit
This could be any position in which you feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable: your knees hurt when you’re on top, doggie style isn’t intimate enough, and so on.
"To be clear: the discomfort (of whatever sort) can block or minimize how arousing you find the sex. Lower arousal equals way less chance of an orgasm," says sexologist Carol Queen of Good Vibrations.
