Fried Eggs, Norks, And 98 Other Ridiculously Funny Names For Your Boobs

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Why do we call breasts “boobs”?

It’s a silly word — boobs — but somehow, over the ages, it’s become one of the most common, recognizable ways to refer to a woman’s breasts. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only one.

“Boobs” are just one of hundreds, possibly thousands, of slang terms that men and women have used to describe a woman’s breasts. (Or to use a gross modern term — her “chesticles.”)

According to The Dictionary of Contemporary Slang, the term “boobs” probably showed up around the late 1600s. Renowned slang lexicographer Jonathon Green believes that "boobs" derives from the word “bubbies,” which has its root in the Latin phrase bibere, which means “to drink.”

Over time, bubbies became boobies, which eventually ended up as boobs.

As we mentioned, it's a little childish, but it’s considerably better than a lot of other terms that men, in particular, have used when speaking about breasts. (Boobs sounds much gentler than something like “sweater meat.”)

But language experts can trace nicknames for breasts all the way back to the early 1500s.

One of the earliest recorded slang terms for breasts were “paps.” So that means we have over 500 years of boob nicknames in recorded history. That’s just insane. (It also reminds us that we need way more nicknames for man boobs.)

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To honor that fine tradition, we decided to go back and collect a list of some of the more memorable (or downright strange) historical nicknames for breasts. These come from various sources — mostly notably, Green’s Dictionary of Slang, the Dictionary of Contemporary Slang, and the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.

While lexicographers like Green admit that not all of these terms were commonly used, they all appeared in print, in scripts, in newspapers, online — somewhere in the public record.

Here are 100 actual nicknames that (primarily) men have given boobs over the past half millennium, starting from the 1500s all the way to the modern era.

Best Funny Names for Boobs

1. Mary Ellens

2. Two puppies fighting in a bag

3. Buzzies

4. Avocados

5. Jersey cities

6. Gay deceivers

7. Lewis and Whitties

8. Glands

9. Threepenny bits

10. Walter Mittys

11. Mods and rockers

12. Moonlight flits

13. Shock absorbers

14. ​The Dairy

15. Chabobs

16. Groodies

17. Cabman's rests

18. Dairy arrangements

19. Norks

20. Ninny jugs

21. Cupid's kettledrums

22. Bushel bubbies

23. Cat-heads

24. The Milk Shop

25. The Upper Works

26. Nature's founts

27. Baby's public house

28. Berkeleys

29. Bag of snakes

30. Tooraloorals

31. Prams

32. Milkshakes

33. Honeydews

34. Briskets

35. Field artillery

36. Cats and kitties

37. Bordens

38. Lung-warts

39. The Upper Deck

40. Cheaters

41. Lamps

42. Jabongoes

43. Top bollocks

44. Irish draperies

Bustle

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Funny Nicknames Guys Call Boobs

45. Yabbos

46. Udders

47. Plumpers

48. Gazongas

49. Bombers

50. Watermelons

51. Cans

52. Hooters

53. Melons

54. Coconuts

55. ​Apples

56. Dumplings

57. Titties

58. Knockers

59. Jugs

60. Airbags

61. Honkers

62. Funbags

63. Hangers

64. Baby bumpers

65. Doorknobs

Giphy

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Slang for Large Breasts

66. Wallopies

67. Bazooms

68. Heavers

69. Milkers

70. Maracas

71. Nice ones

72. Bazookas

73. Lunch pails

74. Chubbies

75. Bodacious tatas

76. Bazoombas

77. Jigglers

78. Globes

79. Big brown eyes

80. Dinner buckets

81. Equipment

82. East and West

Giphy

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Funny Names for Small Boobs

83. Shirt potatoes

84. Flithy pillows

85. Pippins

86. Dibs

87. Lumps of temptations

88. Bonbons

89. Doodads

90. Nubbies

91. Top 'uns

92. Num-nums

93. Fried eggs

94. Paps

95. Chi-chis

96. Nay-nays

97. Thingies

98. Ivory balls

99. Poonts

100. Bee-stings

Tenor

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Tom Burns is a husband, a dad, and a veteran of the educational publishing industry, living just outside of Detroit Rock City. After years of obsessing about what his daughter was reading, he founded Building-a-Library, a website devoted to helping parents find the right books for their kids.