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You won't wanna leave.
By The Good Men Project — Written on Aug 01, 2016
By Jordan Gray
Want to set up your bedroom for better sex, more relaxation, and more connection with your lover?
While we can exercise our willpower to a certain extent in our lives, our environments often shape our realities to a greater degree. So instead of having to overcome the lacklustre vibe in your bedroom to initiate sex, why not have the sexiness and luxurious appeal of your bedroom inspire you and your partner into sexy times with ease?
Here are the seven highest leverage things that you can do to set your bedroom up for better sex.
1. Make your bedroom sacred.
Your bedroom should be untouchable by the outside world.
It’s hard to shut off your brain and focus if you feel like you might be interrupted. So how can you keep any and all interruptions at bay?
- Put a lock on your door
- Invest in some heavy duty black out curtains (the kind that can shut out light and sound)
- Keep your phones off and out of the room
- Make sure that there’s no TV in the room
Remember, your bedroom should only have two purposes: restful sleep and deeply connecting sexual intimacy.
2. Invest in scents.
Scents matter. Whether you’re using them to relax your mind after a busy day at the office, or using them to wake up and energize your senses for morning sex, investing in the smells of your bedroom will pay dividends.
Pick up an essential oil diffuser and/or some lightly scented candles with scents that both you and your partner agree upon.
Heres a cheat sheet for some calming scents and invigorating scents…
Relaxing scents: lavender, vanilla, jasmine, pumpkin, tea tree oil.
Energizing scents: orange, lemon, citrus, rosemary.
3. Keep your bedroom at a slightly cooler temperature
When it comes to the sexiness of your bedroom, the temperature definitely matters.
If it’s too cold then it might limit the number of positions you can do because one or both of you will be too cold to want to take the sheets off. If it’s too hot then the male partner may have a more difficult time maintaining a quality erection.
This is a matter of personal taste but for better sex (and higher quality sleep) a temperature of 67-70 degrees farenheit/19-21 degrees celsius is generally best.
4. Keep massage oil handy
Sensual massage is one of the most efficient ways to get out of your head and into your body while simultaneously connecting with your partner and engaging in some light foreplay.Pick out your favourite massage oil from a local swanky sex shop, or use coconut oil.
(Bonus: coconut oil doubles as a massage oil and a lubricant)
5. Own soft, quality sheets
Are you an adult? Great! Then you should probably own a set of quality, high thread count sheets that your body enjoys coming into contact with.
Avoid buying white sheets because, believe it or not, white sheets show stains. Which will inevitably happen if your sex life is fun at all. What’s better than white for your choice of sheet colour? Consider green or brown for a relaxing earthy tone. Or, for the uber-practical person, consider red sheets (helloooooo period sex)!
6. Have your favourite sexy time music cued up
Music and sex both tap into very primal parts of our brain, which is why the two go so well together. It might sound like it has the potential to be cheesy… but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. The right music can add a whole new swagger to your mattress mambo.
Choose whatever makes you feel the sexiest. Sexy R&B? Old school rock? Melodic dubstep? Instrumental spanish guitar music? Whatever floats your boat. Pick up a set of quality speakers, cue up your expertly cultivated playlist, and let the sweet tunes carry you further into your body.
7. Have your favourite sex toys within reach
While your lips, hands, genitals, and tongue have a lot of versatility inherent in them, it’s also fun to have some quality sex toys on hand to occasionally bring your sexual play to new heights.
Have you experimented with vibrators together? You should! This is the best one for clitoral stimulation, and this one is the best for fitting into smaller spaces. Ever wanted to engage in some light rope bondage? It’s more fun than you might think. Did you know that there are some amazing male masturbators on the market these days? This is my favourite one.
Let’s Get It On
So that’s that. Make your bedroom sacred, keep it at a slightly lower temperature, have high quality sheets on hand, and invest in the scents, sex toys, and sounds that surround you. Implement these seven tips into your increasingly luxurious boudoir and you’ll be enjoying some of the most deeply connected, playful, explorative sex of your life in no time.
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This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.