7 Brutally Honest Insights From A Reformed Womanizer

charles J. orlando

Relationship coach, author of The Problem with Women… is Men and YourTango expert Charles J. Orlando knows a thing or two about womanizers — afterall, he used to be one.

With his advice on identifying cheaters and why you're getting played by the men you date, he's determined to not only help women regain their sanity and self-esteem, but also to empower men to step it up.

He'll be taking over our Facebook page on May 15 at 1 PM to answer all your questions on dating, relationships and men.

But, before he gets to your questions, we had the chance to ask him a couple of our burning questions on love below.

Have a question for him? Ask it here and he'll answer it during his Facebook Takeover on 5/15.

YourTango: What's the craziest or most out-of-character thing you've done for love?

Charles J. Orlando: While my friends and I were driving down a crowded Silicon Valley street on a summer afternoon in the late 1980's, I couldn't help but notice a very striking young woman pulling up to a gas station pump. As she opened her car door and walked over to the pump, I was mesmerized. I slammed on my brakes, causing other cars behind me to do the same thing. Without really thinking, I hopped out of my car, and one of my friends slid over to the driver's seat. I sprinted across three lanes of moving traffic to get to her at the gas station! As you can well imagine, this caused a considerable commotion. By the time I got there, the woman was already doing her fill-up, while watching everything I did. As I approached her — panting, out of breath— I said, "You are just too beautiful to pump your own gas." This simple comment led to the exchange of telephone numbers. We dated frequently over the next few months.

2. YT: I'm a sucker for a man/woman who can ___
CJO: Make me laugh.

3. YT: In your experience, when it comes to romantic relationships, what is the biggest difference between men and women?
CJO: Empathy. Men have to learn it... while women are (usually) born with it. Empathy eliminates the need to be "right". Instead, the situation or discussion becomes, "Let me understand how you feel."

4. YT: If you could tell your younger self something you've since learned about love, sex, and/or relationships, what would that be?
CJO: Laugh. Life and love are not as serious as they first seem.

5. YT: What is the most meaningful compliment a partner has ever paid you?
CJO: That I inspire them to embrace their best self.

6. YT: What is one thing you should never do in bed?
CJO: Assume you know what the other person wants.  Leave your ego at the door and pay attention to what works and what doesn't work for them as individuals.

7. YT: What's the best relationship advice you've ever received?
CJO: Listen more than you speak.

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