Self

12 Secret Behaviors Women Do When Men Aren't Around

Photo: Viktoria Szabo/ Shutterstock
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Remember that show Living Single? They may have been single, but I'm pretty sure they all had roommates.

In 2023, being single usually means living alone.

And here in singles mecca New York, almost one in two people dwell by themselves. I don't know about you, but I find that a little more sad than liberating.

More and more, our society is fragmenting, so that we not only have more diverse interests (in 1950, there were like four TV shows, now there are 4 million) but are increasingly separated from one another — and as a result, lonely.

RELATED: 20 'Single People' Activities To Do Even When You're All Coupled Up

According to a 2012 feature in The New York Times, all these people living alone means lots of singing into hairbrushes, drinking wine out of the bottle, and other quirky — or just plain bizarre — behaviors.

Amy Kennedy, a 28-year-old schoolteacher from High Point, NC, confesses to the following behaviors: "running in place during TV commercials; speaking conversational French to herself while making breakfast (she listens to a language CD); singing Journey songs in the shower; and removing only the clothes she needs from her dryer, thus turning it into a makeshift dresser." 

Quirky, sure, but completely harmless/acceptable. Now the ladies over at The Frisky are another story... In response to the NYTimes article, they made a list called 20 Shameful Secret Single Girl Behaviors That We're Proud To Admit To, and it's full of stuff like not washing your hands and not taking out the garbage.

Now I'm going to be shameless and admit I've done like 12 things on their list at least once, but the others are just plain gross. As our editor Tom pointed out, maybe living by themselves makes everyone into weirdos because "It's the prospect of judgment that keeps us from devolving into monsters." Well said. Maybe we all need a Bert to our Ernie to keep us in check.

Anyway, we have our own shameful single behaviors here at YourTango! Here's what our staff had to say. Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.

RELATED: I Decided To Talk To People Who Have Been Single For 10 Years. Here's What Life Is Like For Them

Here are 12 secret behaviors women do when men aren't around:

1. "I eat standing up at my kitchen counter."

2. "Sometimes I don't feel like eating dinner, so I'll just eat dessert."

3. "When I lived alone, sometimes I ate Pirate's Booty for dinner."

4. "I do some karate moves and can play or watch six hours of video games/Netflix streaming without blinking an eye."

5. "When I was single, I used to have the most disgusting toothpaste container. I never capped. Then once I got married, I was all 'oops.'"

6. "I dance around my apartment alone sometimes."

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7. "I play keyboard naked."

8. "I eat six bowls of soup if there's no one there to shame me into stopping."

9. "I tend to get into late-night Bravo and Frosted Mini Wheats... I will tell myself it's not bad 'cause it's just a small bowl...but then lose track of how many bowls I've had."

10. "I like to rent really bad, girly movies when my boyfriend is out of town. Like Letters to Juliet or anything with Jennifer Aniston or J.Lo."

11. "When my boyfriend's not around, I put on his sweatpants/sweatshirt, drink wine out of the bottle, and watch Jersey Shore or Real Housewives. Sometimes I'll make an omelet and eat it out of the pan I cooked it in." 

12. "My recycling builds up (am too lazy to constantly go downstairs to empty it) until I sometimes feel I'm living beneath a great recycling tower that will topple all around me."

Can you relate to any of these "secret single behaviors?" What are some of your own? Is being in a relationship really all that good? What if you find someone and they just can't understand that you only like being in your underwear when you're home?

RELATED: 10 Real Reasons You're Single You Need To Admit To Yourself

Monica Green is a freelance writer who has contributed to Good Housekeeping, The Knot, and Bustle, among others.