Men With Big Bellies Make Better Lovers, Says Science

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photo of man clutching his big belly

Hey ladies: take a break from chasing that six-packed Adonis and instead divert your gaze to the oft-overlooked Homer Simpson Doppelganger. You may thank us for it. 

While he may not have the most attractive physique at first glance, the man with the beer belly may turn out to be quite a pleasant surprise in other important ways, if you know what I mean.

And anyway, it’s always nice to have a little extra cushion for cuddling, right?

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But are big men better in bed? Well, a 2017 study out of Turkey concluded that overweight men with obvious bellies last longer in bed than their thinner counterparts.

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These heroic researchers (dedicated to finding answers to life's big problems) studied the BMI and sexual performance of 100 men seeking help for sexual dysfunctions contrasted against 100 men who reported no problems. 

The result? Men with a higher BMI and, yes, unsightly guts, lasted an average of 7.3 minutes whereas the slimmer of the group could barely hold on for 2 minutes. Ouch, right? A five-minute difference is pretty significant. As in three times as long kind of significant. In fact, they found skinnier guys more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, too. 

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That’s right, the guy from your gym that you’ve been drooling over for the past six months could actually be way worse in bed than someone much less toned and, well... pudgy. This may come as a bit of a disappointment if you’re looking for a man with defined muscles and athleticism (because hello, he’s hot).

But look at it this way: if you’re having trouble working off the late-night ice cream you’ve been snacking on you’ll be in good company. No judgment from your tubby, cuddly man.

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At first blush, this might seem counterintuitive. The penis is often referred to as the dipstick of a man's health, so wouldn't those at a healthier weight be able to last longer? Not exactly. Scientists say it's more complicated than that.

More belly fat, they say, means the man in question is housing more of the female sex hormone estradiol, which helps to inhibit orgasm. The researchers even went so far as to say that men with less masculine bodies have the upper hand in holding out than a guy who is buff, like, say, a Ryan Reynolds body double. 

Sigh. This must be yet another one of life's cruel practical jokes — and the silver lining if your man's two biggest hobbies are beer and nachos.

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Melissa Noble is a freelance writer and blogger who writes about love, relationships, and trending news stories.