9 Ways To Look Like You’ve Got Your Life Together (Even When You Don’t)
cottonbro studio | Pexels My husband and I have come to one undeniable truth recently: Our parents had it all together, and we quite simply don’t. They were organized, mature, meticulous, and intelligent. They ran smooth households with perfect attention to meal planning, household repairs, responsibilities, and cleaning.
We try to model them, we really do. We are modestly successful at being adults when it comes to the big things. We have careers, houses, and some semblance of a functioning household. However, the harsh truth is this: We don't have our life together — we only look like we do. Over the past five years of our marriage, though, we’ve become masters at working together to fool everyone into thinking we’ve got it all together for the most part.
Here are 9 ways to look like you’ve got your life together, even when you don’t:
1. People who look like they have their life together have a two-minute closet cleanup plan
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We’ve mastered the art of a deceptively clean house. We have a system down in which we can have the house appearing to be tidy and organized in under 5 minutes. We each know which closet is ours to fill, and we know which items to leave behind in our last-minute purge. Just whatever you do, don’t open any closets if you stop by for a visit.
"Sometimes, small closet spaces appear to be overstuffed because they are full of thick wooden hangers or empty wire hangers from the cleaners," suggested professional organizer Diane Quintana. "When you go to wear clothing that was hanging on a wire hanger, take the hanger out of your closet."
2. They wear a sparkly headband to cover their inability to style their hair
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The perfect, sleek hair I imagined myself with in adulthood is just too hard and takes too much effort. Keep a supply of chic headbands on hand. They make even the grossest, flattest ponytail or bun look like you tried.
Recovering perfectionist Emily Blackwood elaborated, "My chores don't get done because I'm out chasing a story or working on my book. My hair didn't get brushed because I stayed up super-late hanging out with my friends on the beach. Most of the time, my car is full of sand, and that's okay. Just because I'm not doing my dishes doesn't mean I'm not being productive. I'm making memories with my family and experiencing different things."
3. People who look like they have their life together serve pre-made food in fancy dishes
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A grab-and-go rotisserie chicken just looks better in an elegant serving dish. Even chicken patties can be improved with the right presentation. A study explored ways to enhance the eating experience and stimulate appetite. "It was found that the appearance of the garnish placed on the plates close to the main dish contributes to visual appetite stimulants. Color, moisture, and taste play a major role in the acceptability of food. To stimulate one’s appetite, it is important to make the main dish appear warm."
4. They create a cover story for their endless hours of Netflix
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Learn how to talk up your responsibilities and chores to cover the fact that you spent most of your day in your pajamas, eating popcorn, and binge-watching shows. We’re great at making a one-hour job sound like it took hours. Refer to it as your downtime.
Life coach Susie Pettit emphasized the importance of downtime, "Start including some blank time in your days. Yep, slow down. Better yet, just stop. At some point in your day, do something aimless that doesn’t involve your phone or have a purpose. Find time each day to stop doing and just be. We are human beings, yet spend our time as human doings."
5. They keep an endless supply of Clorox wipes on hand
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Muddy paws from our mastiff on the kitchen floor or the living room carpet? No need to bust out the mop and bucket or the rug scrubber. Cleaning wipes take out the hard work and still help it smell lemony fresh, like you actually cleaned up as you should.
Even if you don't have time or energy to deep clean, a surface clean helps. "Working and living in a clean, organized space allows you to appreciate what you have," claimed marriage counselor Monica Ramunda. "In this way, you can focus on enjoying your home, rather than constantly trying to put something somewhere or hide the clutter."
6. People who look like they've got their life together buy clothes that won’t wrinkle
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Who has time for ironing? Buy clothes with some polyester in them, and you’ll always look perfectly polished without really trying. There aren’t any khakis in my closet because there isn’t a dryer in the world that can run long enough to keep them freshly pressed. And I’m certainly not getting out that behemoth of an ironing board.
No matter how much time you have for clothing maintenance, life coach Ora Nadrich recommended, "When you're getting dressed, put your clothes on like you're adorning something that matters to you. You wouldn't decorate a Christmas tree or a cake quickly. How you put yourself together is how you feel about yourself, and even if you are pressed for time when you look in the mirror, take pleasure in appreciating yourself."
7. They keep a blanket and grocery bag in their car for impromptu cleanups
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When someone asks for a ride from me, I make sure I race to the car before them. This gives me time to cover the mound of dog hair on my backseat with the blanket and toss my food wrappers into the plastic bag. The car appears clean, and I didn’t have to visit the pesky car wash and use my quarter supply to run that annoying vacuum. If you ride in my car, know you’re riding with a lot of mastiff fur.
You can always laugh about the situation with a pet. Counselor Lianna Avila explained how "pets are great resources for something to laugh at. Funny cat videos alone are some of the most-watched content on the internet. Laughing over your dog's clumsiness or cuteness will help you stay healthy, both mentally and emotionally."
8. They have a handyman in the family or as a friend
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We pretend we know how to fix things, but usually our discussion of water heaters and car engines is just a word-for-word replay of what my dad, our handyman in the family, told us. Also, when we try to fix something with superglue, he can come to bail us out and fix it correctly.
Asking for a hand gives friends and family a chance to help you, explained mentor Moira Hutchison. "Most people feel very good about themselves when they can extend help to others. You're allowing others to feel those rewarding emotions whenever you request a hand from them."
9. People who look like they've got their life together know they actually don't
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At least that’s the story we tell ourselves, so there’s no need to hold yourself to a perfect level of adulthood. Being a grownup is exhausting, tiring, frustrating, and difficult. Although our parents certainly seem to have had it all together, I’m sure there were times they cut corners, too. I’m sure there were times they were faking their way through adulthood with a faux smile and a genuine prayer that it would all turn out.
At the end of the day, being a good adult isn’t always about being perfect at housekeeping, house repairs, social life, or work. Sometimes being a good adult is just being innovative enough to make it through, no matter what that looks like.
Lindsay Detwiler is a contemporary romance author and high school English teacher.
