13 Wake-Up Calls For When You’ve Lost All Motivation And Don’t Know What You’re Doing Anymore
Anne Cristine | Pexels Most people stay trapped, not by their circumstances, but by how they think about their circumstances. We are all living in the stories we tell ourselves about how life is. Our realities are moulded by our thoughts far more than many realize. These stories are not permanent. Over the years, I learned that these perspectives can shift toward greater freedom.
Here are 13 wake-up calls for when you’ve lost all motivation and don’t know what you’re doing anymore:
1. Don't equate alone time with being lonely
I’ve always been an introvert with a love for ‘me time.’ Over time, my preference for solitude lost its shame-inducing association with me being a ‘loner.’ It became a kind of luxury and a doorway to creativity and building cool things instead. The moment I reframed being alone as a chance to recharge instead of evidence that there was something wrong with me, the shame went out the back window. Now I protect my solo time like it’s sacred, with zero guilt.
2. Your failures are a free education
Every mistake is a course I paid for with experience instead of money, even if it felt like a slap across the face. This reframe turns regret into gratitude and makes me bolder because nothing can be wasted. As such, dwelling becomes pointless. If I’m failing regularly, no biggie. I’m learning faster than people who play it safe.
When you see mistakes as chances to learn instead of proof you suck, you're way more likely to try new things and keep going when stuff gets hard, researchers have concluded. Turns out people who believe they can improve through effort actually do bounce back faster and accomplish more than folks who think you're either born with it, or you're not.
3. Reframe ‘I have to’ as ‘I get to’
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I get to write today. I get to move my body today. I get to handle this difficult conversation (because I’m learning like Einstein on caffeine). One word change. Entirely different energy. This tiny language shift transforms a burden into a juicy kind of privilege and makes every task feel like a choice rather than a trap.
4. Stopped seeing boundaries as rude
Changing my mind after seeing others annoyed by my choices and still feeling miserable forced me to get good at setting boundaries. No more. Boundaries are vital because they protect my energy. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish. It’s how you show up the best you can for the people who matter. Saying no to things that drain me is saying yes to things that fill me. The people worth keeping respect this.
When you actually protect your time and energy with boundaries, you dodge burnout and anxiety way better than when you say yes to everything. Research shows people who stick to their limits feel less emotionally drained and way more in control instead of running on empty all the time.
5. Reframe criticism as free market research
Negative feedback tells me exactly who I’m not for, which helps me find who I am for. This has been invaluable for developing my personal brand, but it also helps me stay cool when all I want to do is cry for mummy. Instead of trying to please everyone, I use criticism as a filter to attract the right people. Polarization is a feature, not a bug.
6. View your weirdness as a competitive advantage
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The quirks I tried to hide are actually what make me interesting and memorable. The minute I started owning what I thought made me odd, I relaxed. I became less awkward. I didn’t wake up at 3 am in a sweat as much. Everyone else is busy being normal and forgettable. My strangeness is my brand, and leaning into it brought me the best opportunities I’ve ever had.
7. See money as stored energy, not success
Money is just a tool that buys back time and options, nothing more. This stops me from chasing it desperately or worshipping people who have lots of it. I’m not rich or poor, I’m just exchanging energy in different forms. And, oddly enough, this mindset makes wealth come easier.
8. Reconsider ‘being behind’ as ‘being on my own timeline’
There’s no cosmic schedule I’m supposed to follow. I used to get depressed that Malcolm was getting more followers than me, until I recalculated my thinking: Comparing my chapter 3 to someone else’s chapter 47 is absurd. Everyone’s playing a different game with different rules, and I’m exactly where I need to be, and so are you.
Comparing yourself to people doing better than you absolutely wrecks your self-esteem and mental health, according to a ton of research. When you're constantly measuring yourself against others, you end up anxious and depressed because you feel like you're always behind instead of appreciating your own journey.
9. Stop treating rest like laziness
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Doing nothing is actually productive when it prevents burnout and restores my creativity. Rest isn’t earned. It’s a part of the bigger picture. The guilt I used to feel about taking breaks was just programming from a productivity cult I never consciously joined.
10. Treat uncertainty as the highest form of freedom, not something to fear
Not knowing what’s next means anything is possible. And to think I used to be terrified of not knowing. When I stopped needing to control every outcome, I became open to opportunities I never would have planned for. Knowing what comes next would make life an insufferably tedious ride. Thank goodness we don’t know.
11. Recast ‘needing help’ as strength
Asking for support isn’t a weakness. It gets you further along more quickly, often with shortcuts. People who refuse help stay stuck because they’re too proud to learn faster, and that bites them hard. I’d rather look vulnerable and move forward than look strong and stay stuck in the mud.
12. Treat limitations as design features
I can’t do everything. This, coupled with the fact that life is short, forces me to focus on what I’m actually good at. Some time in my thirties, I just went all in on the few things I was great at. This has brought me all the freedom and joy I could need. Limitations breed creativity that abundance never could.
Having limits actually makes you more creative because your brain has to get resourceful and find solutions you'd never think of with endless options. Research found that people and teams with some constraints come up with better ideas than those with total freedom because boundaries help you focus instead of drowning in possibilities.
13. Reinterpet ‘wasting time’ as ‘investing in joy’
Not everything needs to be productive or lead somewhere. Sometimes watching clouds or having a pointless conversation with your bro is exactly what I need. Joy isn’t frivolous if you see it as rocket fuel. These reframes cost nothing and changed everything for me. Freedom isn’t only about changing your circumstances. It’s about changing how you think about them.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
