The Art Of Being Appreciated: 4 Habits To Release If You Want To Be Valued As You Get Older
Gladskikh Tatiana | Shutterstock Your thinking is at the root of what happens to you in life. By knowing the truth about the power of your thinking, you will begin to understand that you create your universe with your thinking, which in turn, gets you the inner peace, value, and appreciation that you desire:
- Stop judging others
- Learn to receive as competently as you give
- Surrender! Do all that you can and then let things take their course. Do not try to force an issue
- Tell others when you appreciate them or appreciate what they are doing
You have expectations in life. But as you get older, being appreciated isn't about doing more. Many of these unconscious patterns come from a desire to be helpful, but over time, they can erode the respect people give you. Releasing these four habits allows appreciation to show up naturally, grounded in self-respect rather than effort.
Here are the 4 habits to release if you want to be valued as you get older:
1. Letting others diminish your dreams
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Dream stealers are people who discourage you from pursuing your dream on the basis that it is not important, it cannot be accomplished, it is not practical, or some other negative derivative. The difficulty is that sometimes the dream stealers are persons close to you, and they have good intentions, but unwittingly give unwholesome advice.
Research shows that when people close to you give you bad advice or try to help but end up making mistakes, it actually hurts your progress and kills your motivation. The study found that this kind of social hindrance from others is directly linked to feeling more stressed and less confident about chasing what you want.
2. Having incredible self-doubt
Self-doubt is self-sabotage. If you do not believe you can achieve what you have in mind, then it is unlikely to be achieved. Your intention that your dream is possible is key to its attainment. Believe that you have what it takes to win.
A study looking at what actually predicts success found that believing in yourself was the number one factor out of nine different things researchers measured. People who had high self-confidence set bigger goals and kept going when things got tough because they truly believed they could pull it off.
3. People-pleasing
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This includes rejection of your thoughts, actions, and desires, and is a normal incident of life. You have different perspectives from others, as we are all unique. Thus, when persons do not agree with you, do not let that frustrate your life's journey. You have to embrace rejection as an incident of your progress to achieve your dreams. You must commit to pressing on despite the naysayers.
Brain scans showed that when people-pleasers had a chance to say no to something, certain areas of their brain lit up with stress, but those same areas went quiet when they gave in and said yes. Researchers found that people fall into this pattern because saying yes feels like the easier way to avoid social tension, even though it means hiding who they really are.
4. Settling for less than you're worth
Settling can lead to giving up on your dreams. Deception is a strong word, but you can soften it by referring to it as disappointment. People will give you their word but not honor it. You may be relying on their commitment to advance your dream, and they fail to live up to their word.
Accordingly, you should have expectations but not be wedded to the outcomes. Most importantly, do not deceive yourself — "to thy own self be true." Be steadfast and be true to your own values, as this is the bedrock to achieving your life's desires. You can do it.
A study found that when someone got rejected by a potential partner, their self-esteem dropped and they started lowering their standards for future relationships. Basically, feeling rejected made people think they deserved less, so they became way more open to settling for partners who weren't right for them.
You are a tremendous work of art of your creator. Use your internal power. Listen to that small, still voice and rise to your full spiritual potential. Let there be peace, and let it begin with you. It's possible.
Phillip Rochford is a development coach with more than 40 years of experience in both the corporate and personal arenas.
