11 Ugly Truths About Being An Adult That Gen Z Doesn’t Want To Deal With
The world they are growing into isn't an easy one.
prokopphoto | Shutterstock Gen Z is having a much more difficult time navigating adulthood than their predecessors, according to a poll by Youth & Money in the USA, conducted in collaboration with Generation Lab and CNBC. They’re not only struggling financially — being able to keep up with rising costs and afford basic necessities — but they’re also struggling personally, socially, and emotionally, as they grapple with the changes that early adulthood brings.
Many of the ugly truths about being an adult that Gen Z doesn’t want to deal with are rooted in avoidance — the anxiety, shame, and guilt they experience thinking about these things are only exacerbated by their avoidance of discussing them and mediating their effects. By recognizing and making peace with these ugly, yet practical, truths about reality, Gen Zers can look out for themselves and pave a path forward into the future that they’re excited to follow.
Here are the 11 ugly truths about being an adult that Gen Z doesn’t want to deal with:
1. Financial literacy is the key to comfort
Ground Picture | Shutterstock.com
According to a study by Empower, many Gen Zers believe that they need a yearly salary of over $500,000 and a nearly $10 million net worth to truly achieve “financial freedom.” While rising costs and inflation have certainly made a liveable salary rise drastically in recent years, financial literacy is the ugly truth about being an adult that derails their perceptions of true financial comfort.
It’s not always about how much money you make, but how you budget, save money, invest, and spend. If you’re overspending on fast fashion, making poor financial decisions, relying too heavily on credit cards to fund extravagant purchases, and planning poorly for the future, you’re going to be more unhappy with the kind of financial status you’re in currently.
It’s not just an ugly truth for Gen Z — that how much you earn is not the sole predictor of financial comfort — it’s a reality that they’ve struggled to recognize, considering they have the lowest financial literacy rates compared to other generations.
2. Work won’t always be fulfilling
insta_photos | Shutterstock.com
According to a report published by Deloitte, Gen Zers tend to prioritize finding purpose, meaning, and fulfillment in their careers over compensation, which can make this ugly truth harder to reconcile with. Despite what our society deems appropriate — that your job should be your entire identity and sole purpose personally — it’s not always realistic to assume that your job will provide fulfillment.
Of course, Gen Z tends to spend more on experiences in their present lives, so they’ve partially adopted a mentality where they’re willing to sacrifice work and career success for more free time and work-life balance, but when it comes to picking and committing to a job, they still hope for more meaning.
3. Friends aren’t always forever
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock
There’s a misconception that the healthiest friendships are the ones that last the longest, especially for Gen Zers who are committed to building more meaningful connections, despite their struggles with social isolation and loneliness. One of the harsh realities of being an adult that Gen Z doesn’t want to face is the inevitable drifting apart from friends, and that these experiences don’t always have to be toxic or dramatic.
People change — your values shift, your priorities change, and the people you surround yourself with aren’t always willing or able to add value over a long period of time. Many people have childhood friends who commit to changing and evolving with their friends, but it’s not always healthy to keep people around who don’t appreciate or fit into your shifting life goals and realities.
4. Nobody has it all figured out
CarlosBarquero | Shutterstock.com
Despite pressures from social media, unrealistic societal expectations, and internal guilt, nobody has it all figured out — we’re all living life for the first time. Even for people who plan their futures, commit to a certain career, and meet all the traditional societal expectations — like getting married, having kids, or buying a home — everyone can’t have life “figured out,” regardless of their age.
Considering Gen Z reports high levels of anxiety and uncertainty about the future, it’s not entirely surprising that they're trying to grasp control by trying to “figure out” everything — from their careers, to their personal interests, crafting an identity, or advocating for specific issues.
While it may seem like an ugly truth, it can be a practical one to adopt for reassurance: nobody has it figured out, you’re never truly behind, and there’s no way to predict what happens later today, tomorrow, or ten years from now.
5. Failure is impossible to avoid
Jelena Zelen | Shutterstock.com
Making mistakes and messing up is impossible to avoid, and while it may be one of the ugly truths about being an adult that Gen Z doesn’t want to deal with, especially alongside pressures to succeed and comparison culture on social media, it’s a reality.
However, a mindset shift can make this reality much easier to grapple with. When we frame mistakes as a “failure,” we encourage ourselves to self-isolate, adopt shame around our mess-ups, and even lower our self-esteem, when in reality, mistakes are the key to growth. As an adult, you’ll never be an expert on everything or a star at every hobby, experience, or situation, but being receptive to change and challenge makes everything easier to cope with.
When you shift your mindset to seek out challenges, learn from others, and let mistakes be an opportunity for growth, you not only personally evolve into a more self-aware and confident person, you reduce anxiety around perceptions of “failure” — whether it’s at home, in your relationships, or the workplace.
6. You can’t judge other people’s actions, but your own intentions
Anatoliy Karlyuk | Shutterstock.com
We’ve all been in a situation where this ugly truth has reared its head. A friend doesn’t invite you to a party, so you immediately spiral into an anxious mindset where you’re judging their actions — they didn’t invite you, they’re probably talking about you, or they didn’t reach out.
However, if you were to do the same thing to a friend, you’d likely focus on the intentions behind your actions — they’re always busy, they probably wouldn’t like it, or you’re not entitled to invite every friend to every event.
When you call other people out on their actions without considering their intentions, while simultaneously doing the opposite for yourself, you’re not only creating more divisive relationships and social interactions, you’re making it harder to build true emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
It’s an ugly truth, but a realistic one: everyone makes mistakes, but shielding yourself from accountability only makes them worse for everyone.
7. 'No contact' isn’t always the right solution for toxic relationships
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com
Often, it’s easier to avoid conflict and confrontation, and go "no contact" with toxic people in our lives, rather than offering grace, having hard conversations, and taking accountability for the things we’ve personally done to contribute to an unhealthy dynamic. We block people online, stop reaching out when things get tough, or set boundaries that ultimately create space between partners or peers.
While there are several positive benefits to "no contact" orders in family relationships or toxic intimate connections, it’s not always an "end-all-be-all" solution to toxicity in our lives. It can sometimes create resentment and lingering unresolved trauma that continues to sabotage our ability to form more meaningful relationships.
Before resorting to no contact in a relationship, it’s essential to try other approaches first, especially if setting boundaries, having difficult conversations, and reflecting on your behavior aren’t drastically affecting your well-being or health.
8. Time moves quickly
BongkarnGraphic | Shutterstock.com
It’s impossible to slow down time — that’s one of the most brutal truths adults are forced to reconcile with, especially later in life when it seems to be moving incredibly fast alongside careers, family responsibilities, and the pressures of aging. However, living in the present moment, being intentional about daily choices, adopting mindfulness practices, and staying engaged in the “now” can help people to cope with the passage of time, making it feel slower and more valuable.
Many of the harsh realities of adulthood that Gen Z prefers to avoid become significantly easier to manage when they are acknowledged. When you adopt hobbies, connect with yourself, and maintain a routine that helps you to live in the present moment, you’re less likely to fall victim to an anxious spiral about all the things you can’t control.
9. Your values, opinions, beliefs, and identity will change
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
Many people demand consistency in their lives — whether it’s with personal values or habits — even when it makes no sense, according to Dr. Alex Lickerman. They refuse to change their minds, remain stubborn in the face of challenge, cling to values that no longer serve them, and judge others for changing their opinions and perspectives.
It’s one of the ugly truths of adulthood — there’s no "right or wrong" or inherently "good or bad." We’re all choosing values that suit our lives, picking relationships that add value, and expressing opinions that make sense to us in the present moment.
It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to say the wrong thing. It’s okay to not understand everything going on around you, within yourself, or in the world in general.
10. Not everything you want is meant for you
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com
So many people waste time and energy manifesting, dreaming about, and trying to achieve things that just aren’t meant for them, at least in the present moment in their lives. From finding their soulmate, to landing their “dream” career, and even trying to start a family, part of the reason why things aren’t falling into place is that they’re not meant for you.
This is one of the ugly truths about being an adult: even the most self-aware and emotionally intelligent people sometimes desire things that won’t bring value to their lives. So, stop judging yourself, setting unrealistic expectations, or adopting shame about not achieving everything you want — there’s a reason.
11. There’s no prize for doing everything 'right'
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
From doing chores every day, to moving your body, going to work, and paying rent, nobody gets a prize for meeting all of their responsibilities — that’s an ugly truth about the reality of adulthood that Gen Z doesn’t want to deal with. Especially for people who seek out external validation, struggle with self-esteem, or fall victim to societal pressures, they may expect some kind of award or praise for simply doing adult things. Still, it’s self-motivation that opens up that door.
Of course, having a consistent workout routine is beneficial for your health and well-being. Doing chores ensures you’re keeping your living space clean and promoting clarity. Paying rent keeps you in a home. Those things do add value to your life, but seeking external praise for them only leaves people unfulfilled and occasionally ungrateful.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
