People With High Standards & Impeccable Manners Often Have 10 Old-Fashioned Traits
Photo Editor: Ashlee Thomas | Photo: jwblinn, Shutterstock We often picture classy people by their appearance alone: someone who wears designer clothes and has expensive hobbies, like going to the opera or playing golf. Yet the real marker of old-fashioned class and high standards has literally nothing to do with how you present yourself to the outside world.
People with high standards and perfect manners often have a few classy personality traits:
1. They're authentic
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A classy person embraces who they are. They're less concerned with fitting in than with feeling like their truest selves. They've done a lot of self-reflection to determine their guiding values, and they live life by what they believe in. They're committed to being themselves, which means making decisions that honor what matters most to them. They don't need to seek outward approval to feel good about themselves. Instead, they build a life full of meaning and purpose and find joy in doing what they love. A genuinely classy person shows up as their most authentic self in every situation, because they believe in the rockstar person they are.
2. They have real compassion for others
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A person with genuine class also has deep compassion for others and themselves. According to a 2016 review by psychologists, compassion involves three distinct elements: noticing, feeling, and responding. A compassionate person notices someone else's suffering. Then, they experience empathy by widening their perspective to include what that person's going through. They respond by wanting to support that person and offer help.
Self-compassion has three main components: first, showing ourselves kindness instead of being self-critical. The second part is being mindful of our emotions, meaning we recognize and accept painful feelings instead of forcing them to change. The final part of self-compassion involves acknowledging our common humanity, seeing suffering as an integral part of being human rather than something that isolates us from one another. Genuinely classy people support those in need while giving themselves grace.
3. People with high standards know what they offer
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Learning to love yourself isn't always easy. It can take a lifetime of intentional practice to love yourself fully, yet a genuinely classy person knows that self-love is a journey worth taking. Someone with genuine class has a high sense of self-worth. They know that they have inherent value, and they don't cut themselves short. Developing a sense of self-worth requires knowing your limitations and knowing what makes you feel good about yourself.
As career and transformation coach Lisa Petsinis explained, knowing your worth means recognizing your value. She shared steps a person can take to better their sense of self-worth, saying, "Take stock of what you bring to your relationships, work, and community. Everyone has a unique set of talents they bring to each situation. Find your gifts and honor your contributions."
4. They dress to feel good and comfy
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A classy person takes the phrase "dress for success" and makes it work — or should we say werk — for themselves. They're not trying to impress anyone with their style; they dress to make themselves feel cute. This might mean leaning toward comfortable clothes, like worn-in sweatshirts and your fave joggers. It might mean putting on casual makeup and jewelry, along with a dress you know you look *chefs kiss* in. A person with genuine class knows that their clothes are a natural extension of their personality, and they always stay true to themselves.
5. They don't throw stones
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Another indication of a genuinely classy person is that they treat others with respect and refrain from passing judgment. They meet people where they are, holding space for a wide range of experiences and emotions. They also hold back from judging themselves because they know self-criticism creates a negative feedback loop that can be really hard to break. According to a 2019 study, people who judge their own thoughts and feelings are less well-adjusted than those who practice self-acceptance. The study's authors noted that "A judgmental attitude towards one's thoughts and feelings is the strongest predictor of both depression and anxiety."
6. They understand their own emotions
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A key part of being genuinely classy is understanding your own emotions. These people take time to process how they feel and accept their emotions without forcing themselves to feel differently, even when those emotions are painful or hard to navigate. Having high emotional intelligence is a hallmark of a genuinely classy person. Researchers from a 2018 study defined emotional intelligence as "the ability to identify, understand, and use emotions positively to manage anxiety, communicate well, empathize, overcome issues, solve problems, and manage conflicts." They added, "With emotional intelligence, you learn to insist, to control your impulses, to survive despite adversities and difficulties, to hope for and to have empathy."
7. They make others feel comfortable
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Often, a truly classy person has a certain je ne sais quoi that draws others in. They give off a warm, positive energy that makes others want to be around them. Because they accept themselves so deeply, that feeling extends to other people, too. Someone with genuine class cares about others' comfort, yet doesn't compromise their own boundaries to make others feel good. By being true to their own needs, they can support others without overextending themselves into oblivion.
8. They're honest but kind about it
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Another sign of a genuinely classy person, one that can't be faked, is that they communicate honestly. Classy people are direct, but they avoid causing intentional harm. They tell you what they really think without being cruel. A genuinely classy person is honest with others and with themselves. They acknowledge their mistakes and don't put themselves on a pedestal, thinking they're above anyone else. They know the key to real inner change is honest self-reflection. They show their innate classiness by speaking their truth honestly and openly.
9. They've mastered the art of making small talk
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A genuinely classy person knows when to say their piece and when to stay quiet. They're happy to take a backseat and let others speak their mind, because listening is a cornerstone of class. In a 2022 psychology paper, researchers found that our individual and collective well-being improves when people feel heard. High-quality conversational listening requires paying attention, processing what's being said, and showing engagement. Genuinely classy people don't always take center stage in conversation. They listen more than they speak because they know that truly hearing someone is how human connection is actually built, not just by pretending to fake-listen.
10. They think before doing something rash
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Genuinely classy people consider how their behavior affects the people around them. While they always live for themselves, they don't do it in a selfish way that harms others. They weigh their options and make balanced decisions that meet their needs without unnecessarily damaging their precious psyche.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and all things entertainment-related.
