If Your Adult Child Uses These 11 Phrases, You Raised A Truly Excellent Person

Everyone enters parenthood with the intention to raise their children to be the best they can be. No one wants to see their kids fall short. When you became a parent, you likely set your child up for success by teaching them powerful phrases that made them a kinder, more respectful person, even at a young age.

If your child knew the importance of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ before they were in school, there’s a good chance you raised a truly excellent person. When parents enforce healthy boundaries with their children, they teach them respect. Our upbringing makes a big difference in who we become as adults. There are kind phrases and helpful conversations that show how wonderful someone is. If you experience these from your adult child, you truly raised an excellent person.

If your adult child uses these 11 phrases, you raised a truly excellent person

1. 'Please'

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Saying please when asking for something is one of the earliest respectful phrases we learn growing up. Believe it or not, implementing these manners can be hard to do for some adults. If you kept on top of your child’s behavior towards others, you likely raised a truly excellent person. They know how to show kindness and compassion to everyone they meet.

Have you ever ordered at a coffee shop and heard someone demand their order? There was no please thrown in at the end. When I see this behavior, I wonder whether the person acting this way is a bad person. When someone says ‘please’ to service workers, I can tell they are excellent people. It’s an easy way to practice respect and kindness in the real world.

2. 'Thank you'

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Going along with ‘please’ is the phrase that typically follows it. To show someone respect for doing something for you, saying ‘thank you’ is a necessity. If your adult child consistently shows gratitude, they are a wonderful person. It’s not always easy for individuals to verbalize these things. When someone says this phrase after receiving something, it is important.

They will not only use this phrase to respond to kind actions, but also be thankful for everything in their lives. They know not to take anything for granted. They will let people know how thankful they are for them. Showing gratitude to those around them defines their character. Only the best people practice this daily.

3. ‘I appreciate you’

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Raising a truly good kid shows in the way they treat other people. An excellent person is appreciative. Whether it’s a friend helping them with a task or a mechanic fixing their car, they will never miss out on an opportunity to tell those around them how much they appreciate their efforts. Often, people do not need to do anything for them to tell them this phrase. They value everyone in their life and want them to know it.

Adults who show appreciation have empathy. “Showing appreciation is a powerful act. It’s a form of social glue and fundamental to our well-being. It reminds us we are part of communities; that we are neither alone and cannot flourish in isolation. Appreciation is also a way of recognising and showing understanding of something about an act, a behavior or an endeavor by someone outside of ourselves. It’s a form of empathy,” says life coach Laurence Knott.

4. 'Let me help out'

if your adult child uses these phrases you raised a truly excellent person let me help out Ivan S from Pexels via Canva

You raised a truly excellent person if they are willing to put themselves out for the sake of others. These adult children are always looking for ways to help. They will use this phrase in any situation they can. Whether it’s a project at work or preparing food at a family gathering, wonderful people are quick to say, ‘Let me help out.’ They never want you to take on projects alone. If they can lend a hand, they will, without question.

The best people I know are the ones who are willing to help out with just about anything. They make for reliable friends and wonderful significant others. They have a special kind of generosity that is in their blood. It’s proof they were raised right.

5. ‘I need time to think’

if your adult child uses these phrases you raised a truly excellent person i need time to think Andres Ayrton from Pexels via Canva

If your adult child uses this phrase, you raised an excellent person. Saying this prevents them from lashing out and using words they do not mean. If they are involved in a conflict, they will not want to hurt others in the process. Instead, they will use this phrase to remove themselves from the situation and approach the conversation with their best foot forward. It’s a way that they keep a cool head.

This phrase also indicates that they do not want to rush into a situation they are unsure about. They will never put themselves into a risky situation without thinking it over. They thoroughly review the pros and cons before they take on any task. When they say ‘I need time to think,’ they are respectfully letting others know where they stand.

6. 'I was wrong'

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It is not easy for someone to admit when they’re wrong. Our egos want to protect us at all costs. Even though we are capable of understanding our mistakes, saying the words out loud is never easy. If you have an adult child who is always the first to say when they did something wrong, you raised an excellent person. They make everyone in their lives more comfortable by admitting they are not perfect. They know they will mess up along the way, but they always want to do right by everyone in their lives.

Apologies of this kind bring resolution and closure. At most, they cost us an admission that we were wrong, that we're imperfect, or that we need to improve in some way. If such a cost seems beyond what we're willing to pay, we need to examine the cause of our resistance as such a cause always represents an obstacle to our own happiness (i.e., a bloated ego),” says Alex Lickerman, M.D. If your child is happy to admit their faults, they are on the right track to succeeding in life’s relationships.

7. ‘I’m sorry’

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If your adult child can admit they are wrong and issue a meaningful apology, they are an excellent person. It’s one thing to say you were wrong. It’s a valuable life lesson, but if it doesn’t come with a true ‘I’m sorry,’ then it may be meaningless. However, children who were raised right know the importance of the phrase. They also understand that when they say it, they have to mean it.

Apologizing is another tough thing for most people to do. When we struggle to admit when we’re wrong, it’s even harder to issue a true apology. When we can’t look at our behavior outside of our own egos, we are destined to fail others around us. This phrase is a powerful tool in maintaining relationships and keeping people on your side. If your adult child apologizes often and with meaning, they are a wonderful person.

8. 'I'm happy for you'

if your adult child uses these phrases you raised a truly excellent person im happy for you nappy from Pexels via Canva

We’ve all known people who struggle with this phrase. Deep down, they want to be the best in the room. It’s actually a sign of low self-esteem. They view everyone as competition and do not want to see them succeed. A truly excellent person does not feel this way about people in their lives. When they say ‘I’m happy for you,’ they mean it. They celebrate everyone’s victories.

People who can let others know how happy they are for them have higher self-esteem and self-worth. They are comfortable and proud of who they are. Watching others succeed brings them joy. It’s not always easy to enforce these feelings, as it's hard to prevent ourselves from playing the comparison game. If your adult child has always thrived in supporting others, they are a great person.

9. ‘I love you’

if your adult child uses these phrases you raised a truly excellent person i love you RgStudio from Getty Images Signature via Canva

If you raise a child who is comfortable saying the L word in adulthood, they are a truly excellent person. Believe it or not, some parents struggle to say this phrase to their children. While they certainly love their children, saying it is harder than showing it. Many children crave the words from the people who mean most to them. You were never afraid to say this phrase, and as a result, your adult children have mastered the skill in not only being loving individuals but also people who aren’t ashamed to say it out loud.

“Children and teens thrive when they feel loved, liked, and accepted by their parents—the people who have known them the longest and have often seen them at their worst. This gritty, authentic love can give children the confidence they need to risk extending love and compassion to others, not only while they are young, but for the rest of their lives – as citizens, employees, leaders, and parents themselves,” says MaryJo Burchard, Ph.D, for The Lincoln Center. Since you were great at doing this when they were younger, they have become a loving person in adulthood.

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10. 'This is how it made me feel'

if your adult child uses these phrases you raised a truly excellent person this is how it made me feel Christina Morillo from Pexels via Canva

So many people struggle with thoroughly explaining their feelings. Telling others how you feel is a key part of life. There is no way to work through issues without being vulnerable. As mentioned, vulnerability is tough. If you raise a truly excellent person, they can talk about their feelings with ease. Likely, they were brought up in a household that valued these conversations. It made them an open person from the beginning.

Using this phrase also keeps conflicts calm. People respond poorly to finger-pointing. If you constantly say ‘you, you, you’ when talking to someone about their behavior, they will shut down. A well-rounded individual knows the importance of ‘I-statements,” using them often. Expressing your feelings is an important skill people take into adulthood.

11. ‘Let’s talk it through’

if your adult child uses these phrases you raised a truly excellent person lets talk it through Ivan S from Pexels via Canva

Truly excellent people would rather talk through issues than argue about them. When something comes up that hurts someone, they will use the phrase ‘let’s talk it through.’ It’s the best problem-solving method where each person feels they get to share their concerns. If your adult child uses this phrase, they’re a solid individual. Whether it’s in their romantic relationships, career, or friendships, they are opening up lines of communication that matter.

“Emotionally charged conversations can feel exhausting, whether you ramp up or shut down. Everyone is trying to manage their anxiety and find their way back to safety and comfort,” says Mallory Metzger for The Relationship Space. If your adult child prevents conversations from getting emotionally charged by encouraging others to talk it out, you raised a good one.

Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.