11 Things Women Do Not Care About Anymore Once They Reach A Certain Age
At some point, we figure out what really matters and throw the rest of our cares away.
fizkes / Shutterstock As women age, we start to care less and less about impressing others or bending ourselves to fit into the molds that society has created for us. We go through so many physical, mental, and emotional changes, and things like pregnancy, motherhood, and menopause can change our entire view of the world.
As we reach a certain age, there are several things women simply do not care about anymore. Our confidence in who we are grows, and we begin to realize that the most important things in life are those that bring us happiness and fulfillment. We start to say exactly what we mean and speak our truth, no matter who doesn't like it. There are so many things that seemed top priority when we were young, but have simply fallen off our radar intentionally with maturity.
Here are 11 things women do not care about anymore once they reach a certain age
1. What you think about how we look
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You know what they say about opinions. Everybody has one. Keeping up with expectations from the world about how we should look. As our self-awareness grows, women stop worrying so much about fitting into conventional beauty standards. We no longer need your validation because we find it internally. We wear flats instead of heels because we're not breaking an ankle just to impress you.
We have stopped buying into the anti-aging rhetoric and have started embracing our natural beauty, graying hair, wrinkles, and other symbols of our beautiful life experience. Your beauty standards no longer apply to us. We are focused on comfort first and foremost and don't mind being judged for our body weight, hairstyle, fashion sense, or any other physical attributes because we don't care anymore.
2. Following trends
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Fashion, fads, and evolving tech trends used to have us scrambling to make sure we grabbed the latest handbag or the new shoes that everyone wanted to get their hands on. We scrambled to keep up and wouldn't dare be caught in skinny jeans after they went out of season. But a lot has changed as we got older, and we have no desire to keep up with the Joneses anymore.
Fast-moving trends have taken a backseat to personal style, comfort, practicality, and affordability. We now know that it's not what's on you, but what's in you that counts. Our focus has shifted from being a follower and jumping on bandwagons. We set our own trends, and people can choose to follow them or not because we just don't care.
3. Pleasing others while ignoring our own needs
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One thing that gets really old as you age is hopping through hoops to please other people. It's exhausting and leads to burnout, resentment, and deficiency in your own self-care. As women who are getting older each day, we have stopped trying to make sure everyone else is okay and have begun to take care of ourselves first.
We are more clear than ever that we don't need your validation or approval. They aren't necessary and, in most cases, aren't even healthy to rely on. If we had planned to hang out and change our minds, so be it. We have the right to make different decisions whenever we see fit and won't do anything we don't want to just to make you happy.
4. Staying in unhealthy relationships
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There was a time when we excused bad behavior, overlooked red flags, and tried to fix people who seemed to be irreparably damaged. We are done with that because, in the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that." Whether it be a friendship, a romantic relationship, or family ties, we have learned to let go of people who drain our energy.
Whereas, in the past, we would feel obligated to show up to a family cookout or reunion because it was what we were supposed to do, we are now opting to skip the undiagnosed family trauma. Just because we are invited does not mean we need to show up. We are protecting our peace and staying in places and around people who help maintain it.
5. The need to be perfect
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Getting older means releasing the need for perfectionism. The house doesn't have to be spotless to have company. Our bodies don't have to be flawless because we know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the only beholder we care about is ourselves. We aren't scratching and clawing to climb the career ladder because we are in our 'receiving era' and no longer over-giving.
If the towels in the bathroom don't match, so what? Were you able to take a shower, wash your face, or dry your hands? Then we're good. If we previously tried to prepare your meals just the way your moms used to, but could never get it right in your eyes, we no longer care. This ain't your momma's house, and we are doing things our way.
6. Being validated by strangers
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In the age of social media, many of us started out very concerned about how many followers we had or how many people liked our posts. We carefully curated our online personas to look flawless and make other people perceive us as goals. The number of total strangers or distant acquaintances who validated our existence could make or break our self-esteem.
We learned over time that who we really are is much more important than who we are supposed to be. That digital representation of who you want the world to believe you are started to seem more and more fake. As really grown women, we would rather be our authentic selves. Whoever doesn't like it can keep scrolling.
7. Whether or not you care about our emotions
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As young ladies, we really needed you to hear us out. We shared our deepest woes with you and wanted you to validate them and show us you care. Nowadays, we feel like if you don't do it, somebody else will. We no longer concern ourselves with people who refuse to understand us or dismiss our needs.
Don't question us about why we are mad at someone. We might not even remember, but we know for a fact that there is a good reason. If we are crying and it doesn't make sense to you, don't question it. Just hug us and tell us it will be okay. That's how you stay in our inner circle as we get older. We cut people expeditiously, so you'd better get right or get left.
8. Being the nice girl
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Anyone who knows me is fully aware of how outspoken I am. As a fresh-faced, inexperienced young woman, I would bite my tongue when something that didn't sit right with me happened. Then, as I thought about it, I regretted not speaking up. Those regrets turned into a tendency to speak my mind whenever necessary.
Most of us mature women have decided we are no longer dimming our lights or muting ourselves to make you feel comfortable. We don't go along just to get along, and our boundaries are securely intact. If you interpret this new vibe we are on as having an attitude, that's your problem. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. Or you get gone and that's okay, too.
9. Saying 'sorry' for everything
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I vividly about a decade ago, when a mentor told me that she noticed I said I was sorry quite frequently. She asked me who I did it and it dawned on me that I didn't even notice. I had subconsciously been programmed to apologize for everything, even when I had done nothing wrong. From that day forward, though I still take accountability when I make mistakes, I am no longer eternally sorry.
When we get older, women no longer care about overapologizing for having an opinion, standing up for themselves, or getting away from toxic people, environments, and circumstances. We take up space and know when we are in the wrong and need to make reparations. If we happen to take longer than you'd like to respond to your text, we won't apologize for not meeting your expectations. Suck it up, buttercup, and be happy we responded at all.
10. Trying to have it all
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Remember believing that we could balance it all, work, kids, our man, the household, friendships, and hobbies? We did it, but at what expense? We suffered from severe burnout and may have even felt like we had failed when one ball dropped. The myth of the perfect work-life balance has been shattered with experience. We know what truly matters and choose to focus our efforts and attention there.
We no longer excuse our partners from doing household chores, spending time with the kids, or anything else previously deemed women's work. You live here, too, and we are both going to make sure everything is good. We don't have to pretend we have it all under control. Instead, we control what we can and take the rest in stride.
11. Starting over
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By the time we get up in age, women have experienced so much loss in life that we understand it's a part of the journey. We may have lost some of the most important people we've ever encountered so dropping that crappy mate, dead-end job, or dysfunctional friendship is a cake walk. We replace fear with determination and detachment, and can take the road less traveled if we have to.
When women learn about life through experiencing it, you've gotta be careful about how you treat us. We walk away from situations that no longer serve us and never look back. We'd rather be alone than with someone whom we cannot stand to be around. If you haven't noticed, women over 45 are leaving situations they've been in for decades to pursue a more fulfilled life. So watch how you handle us.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
