The More Women Understand Men, The Less They Want Them
A big shift is occurring, and it’s getting bigger every day.
Anna Keibalo | Unsplash Men’s greatest fears are upon us. The day women no longer desire to be pursued by men. We have learned their nature. They all seem to be the same, except they come in different sizes. Overall, every man seems to be alike, and we are disgusted and repelled. Some of us are giving up on even interacting with men, including online.
A big shift is occurring, and it’s getting bigger every day. The men thought the loneliness epidemic was upon them, but now what is heading their way? Men can hang out with other men while they are being jerks, but women do not want to hang out with men who are jerks.
The more women understand men, the less they want them. Let’s take a look at these items that have surfaced that are all deal breakers:
1. Lack of emotional depth
Men who avoid introspection, suppress their emotions, and dismiss their partner’s feelings often create relationships devoid of meaningful emotional connection. Women who crave emotional intimacy find this inability to engage exhausting and unfulfilling. Women want a real, genuine connection, and this may be an impossibility with men.
2. Entitlement mentality
New Africa / Shutterstock
Many men grow up believing they are inherently owed admiration, respect, or a partner’s attention simply for existing. This sense of entitlement, particularly in relationships, is unattractive because it dismisses the concept of mutual effort, respect, and care. The last thing men want to do is respect women. Men do not want their character challenged, and women will do this, so they have always hidden it.
3. Dismissive attitudes toward women’s rights
A growing number of women have observed men’s apathy — or outright hostility — toward issues like reproductive rights, equal pay, and gender equity (just take a look at our comment section to see the men coming out of their man caves.) This lack of support for issues that directly affect women’s lives signals a disregard for their autonomy and humanity.
4. Weaponized incompetence
Women are increasingly tired of men who intentionally underperform in household chores or childcare, forcing their partners to pick up the slack. This tactic, often framed as harmless or unintentional, communicates a lack of respect and partnership. Have the men become dead weight?
5. Chronic defensiveness or stonewalling
When women bring up concerns or frustrations, many men default to defensiveness or turn the discussion into an argument about their own hurt feelings. This behavior shuts down communication and leaves women feeling unheard and invalidated.
6. Lack of accountability
Men who fail to own up to their mistakes, shift blame, or make excuses come across as immature and incapable of growth. Women increasingly see this as a dealbreaker because accountability is foundational for a healthy partnership.
We are tired of it, and we have no energy to teach men how to be grown adults and have healthy relationships. The destructive nature of man has reached new heights. Is it the women who bring things back together and restore? Read about the “glass cliff” phenomenon.
7. Resistance to change
Many men refuse to adapt or grow, particularly when it comes to unlearning toxic behaviors or embracing gender equality. This resistance not only stunts personal growth but also makes them unappealing as long-term partners.
8. Fragile masculinity
New Africa / Shutterstock
Fragile masculinity — where men feel threatened by women’s success, independence, or assertiveness — often leads to controlling or insecure behavior. This inability to celebrate their partner’s achievements or support their growth highlights an unattractive insecurity.
9. Lack of empathy
The inability — or unwillingness — to empathize with women’s struggles and experiences is one of the most unattractive traits. Empathy builds trust and emotional safety, and its absence signals a lack of emotional intelligence.
10. Obsession with power and control
Men who center their lives around dominance, whether in relationships or society at large, alienate women seeking equitable, respectful partnerships. This obsession with control often creates an imbalance that feels stifling and oppressive.
As women continue to recognize these traits, a significant cultural shift is occurring. Women are no longer willing to settle for relationships that drain them emotionally, mentally, or physically. They’re choosing independence, personal growth, and communities of support over partnerships that feel like a burden.
For many men, this rejection represents their worst fear: becoming undesirable.
Unlike women, who have historically been pressured to work on their physical appearance to remain appealing, men are now realizing that their personalities, behaviors, and values are under scrutiny, and many are falling short.
What this means moving forward
This shift isn’t just a momentary trend — it’s a wake-up call. Men who want to remain relevant in relationships must look inward, unlearning harmful societal programming and embracing growth, accountability, and emotional intelligence. Attractiveness is no longer just about appearance; it’s about character, behavior, and how one shows up in a partnership.
But you know what, we wouldn’t mind if you lost 100 pounds, fixed your hairline (fly to Turkey and get a great deal), washed your behind, went to therapy, became self-aware, and started down the path to understanding how the patriarchy has been detrimental to both sexes. Become a real human on the outside and get out of that emotional prison you are in.
Ha, ha, but we all know men don’t change, and this is asking way too much. So instead, we will get another degree and we women will be fine.
For women, this awakening is empowering, but it’s not going to come without personal growth challenges. By recognizing what we truly value in a partner, we’re breaking free from societal pressures and reclaiming our worth.
Men who refuse to evolve risk being left behind in a world that’s moving toward deeper, more meaningful connections. The men will buckle down hard on this one because everything is at stake. Their livelihood, their identity, everything they have learned, and the why behind why they do the things they do.
Lynn Nichols is a writer, author, host of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, and editor of Moving Forward with Hope Publication on Medium.
