11 Things You’ll Hear From Someone Who Spends Money They Don’t Have
People who spend money they don't have are often fond of excuses and justifications.
InnerVisionPRO / Shutterstock Especially in our world of payday loans, credit cards, and e-commerce platforms online, it’s much easier for people to disconnect the pleasures of spending from the burdens of financial insecurity. People may overspend to cope with complex emotions or seek belonging and identity misguidedly, so it’s not surprising that they may get defensive in the face of judgment.
Many of the things you’ll hear from someone who spends money they don’t have are founded in this defensiveness. They may understand their spending habits are rooted in emotional turmoil or a struggling sense of self, but that doesn’t mean they’re entirely ready or equipped to address and change them. Budgeting, cutting up credit cards, and saving money are all great concepts, but to address the individual habits and make true change, it starts with changing language and mentality.
Here are 11 things you’ll hear from someone who spends money they don’t have
1. ‘I deserve this’
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The experience of “deservingness” is inherently intertwined with our society’s view of economic class and money, even in ways we don’t expect. For example, many people suggest that people living in poverty are “deserving” of their financial situation for indulging the same kinds of basic habits that rich people are celebrated for, no matter how misguided that belief actually is.
In that same vein, many people try to weaponize their deservingness around money and cope with discomfort by using phrases like “well, I deserve this” to justify overspending. However, that’s truly just one of the things you’ll hear from someone who spends money they don’t have.
Even if it’s hard to come to terms with, just because you’re deserving of something doesn’t mean you’ll have it or you should chase it. Just because you’re deserving of a new house, new clothing, or a night out with friends doesn’t mean it’s financially responsible to spend money on those things.
2. ‘Money comes back’
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Even if it seems innocent in the moment, phrases like “money comes back” can be incredibly harmful, keeping people living in financial uncertainty and struggling for longer than they need to be. According to a Charles Schwab study, nearly 60% of Americans are just one paycheck short of experiencing homelessness, so clearly, money doesn’t “always” come back in the way we expect it to after overspending.
Even if they’re overspending to keep up with necessities or spending irresponsibly to grasp control in their lives, making excuses rather than addressing the root cause of the problem or their money mentality, will keep them stuck in a cycle of struggle.
3. ‘You only live once’
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Whether it’s chronic stress, emotional overwhelm, or a feeling of lost identity and self-concept, there are a number of factors that contribute to a person’s impulsivity when it comes to spending and navigating money, at least according to a study published in the Frontiers in Psychology journal. They use excuses and justifications like you only live once or peer pressure to cope with the guilt of spending money they don’t have, even though there’s no escaping the shame and uncertainty that’s bound to come later on.
Many of the things you’ll hear from someone who spends money they don’t have are intended to make other people comfortable in the face of their misguided financial habits. In other cases, these phrases directed at others are a mode of peer pressure. By encouraging others to adopt similarly irresponsible financial mindsets, they shield themselves from embarrassment or further shame.
4. ‘I’ll figure it out next month’
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A study published in the Journal of Economic Psychology argues that there’s a link between financial scarcity and avoidance tendencies. Avoiding the discussion of spending habits contributes to scarcity and vice versa. That’s part of the reason why this is one of the things you’ll hear from someone who spends money they don’t have. They’d prefer to indulge immediate comfort and instant gratification, pushing off accountability and addressing scarcity down the road.
These people may take unhealthy financial risks to cope with complex emotions in the face of temptation, like another study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making suggests, even at the expense of their overall well-being and financial security.
5. ‘Everyone else uses credit cards’
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Many people justify overusing credit cards and spending money they don’t have by suggesting that everyone else is doing it. While it can be helpful to use a credit card and pay it off in full every month, rather than carrying over a balance, it’s unrealistic for many people living paycheck-to-paycheck to make ends meet without relying on credit. In fact, according to a Bankrate study, nearly 50% of people currently have a credit card balance that hasn’t been paid off, unable to afford paying their credit cards entirely while relying on them to supplement stagnant wages amid rising prices.
Of course, for people who are spending money they don’t have on non-necessities, like buying into trends with clothing or going out irresponsibly, there’s likely a deeper issue than simply financial struggle. A phrase like “everyone else uses credit cards” may be factually true, but when it’s used to justify misguided coping mechanisms and emotional overspending, it’s often toxic.
6. ‘It’s an investment’
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While there are plenty of things even the most frugal people invest in to save them money in the long term, justifying overspending on things like designer clothes or vacations that aren’t usually necessities can leave people stuck in situations of financial uncertainty and stress.
With more than 70% of Americans reporting a constant feeling of money anxiety and stress in their daily lives, it’s not surprising that seemingly subtle and innocent phrases like this are common. They’re used to justify big purchases, usually made on credit cards, for people who don’t have the money to spend, which help people with poor coping skills to feel comfortable amid emotional turmoil or anxiety.
Of course, these excuses and spending habits only push consumers further into a cycle of stress and anxiety, leaving them feeling more guilty about their finances in the long run.
7. ‘It’s just retail therapy’
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While “retail therapy” and spending on treats to improve mood may have short-term benefits, like a study published in the Psychology & Marketing journal suggests, the kinds of mental illness and chronic stress symptoms that spark these practices can also lead to impulsivity and judgmental control issues.
Without the self-discipline and restraint to cope in other ways, especially alongside impulsive spending and other poor financial habits, phrases like this can urge people to spend money they don’t have, sparking a cycle of emotional turmoil and subsequent financial stress.
8. ‘It’s a one-time thing’
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Even if someone says their overspending habits or splurging tendencies are a “one-time thing,” they never truly are. The kind of financial mindset that prompts a phrase like this is deep-rooted, infiltrating many different aspects of someone’s personal life and financial status.
While it might be the first time they’d used this excuse to justify spending money they don’t have in front of others, chances are they’ve said it internally a million times over again.
9. ‘I’ve been good lately’
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By suggesting that spending money is a reward, rather than simply a practice of life and security, many people justify financial habits that are far from healthy and stabilizing. For example, suppose someone goes a whole week, intentionally avoiding spending $5 on a daily coffee, just to treat themselves with a $40 meal on Friday night. In that case, they’re only putting themselves in a cycle of reward and punishment behavior that sparks guilt, shame, and frustration.
Even if you’re deserving of something, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to sabotage your financial well-being or mental health for the sake of obtaining it, which is why this is only one of the things you’ll hear from someone who spends money they don’t have and struggles financially.
10. ‘I’ll just return it’
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While it’s true that nearly half of consumers buy something that they end up returning on a monthly basis, it’s not a valid justification for overspending on irresponsible purchases or making excuses for financial impulsivity. Not only are they adding more work to their plate down the road, but when they’re likely cutting corners and trying to save for true necessities and bills, it’s a cycle that can land people in deeper trouble.
Phrases like “I’ll just return it later” are not only misguided from an ethical perspective, they also tend to spark cycles of financial insecurity, with irresponsible people finding loopholes to continue spending to cope with complex emotions at the expense of their long-term well-being.
11. ‘I’m treating myself’
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According to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, people are willing to pay up to 30% more for a product, service, or “treat” when they justify it with a phrase like “I deserve it” or “I’m treating myself.” While these shopping and spending habits may provide an instant moment of happiness and help people to cope with lingering sadness, like a study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology suggests, they create more uncertainty, anxiety, and stress for them in the long run.
It’s okay to want to treat yourself to cope with stress or have a hard day, but centering these moments completely around money and impulsive spending can leave you feeling even more miserable if you’re not careful.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
