10 Things Deeply Respected People Do Like Clockwork
They don't chase approval. They earn it.
Pavel Danilyuk | Pexels Many people ask me how they can become a deeply respected person. They hate the pain of feeling ignored and disregarded. But this always sets off a red flag for me, because it reminds me of how I used to be when I was depressed. You instantly lose when you expect respect.
What I learned over many years of struggle: To gain respect, you must become someone who genuinely respects yourself. Research supports that by valuing yourself and acting in alignment with your values, you communicate to the world that you are worthy of respect. This comes from a combination of doing things that bring self-respect and "acting as if," which leads to an upward spiral of confidence.
Here are ten things deeply respected people do like clockwork:
1. Regularly do things that frighten them
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Fear isn’t always an indication of what to avoid. Unless it’s a charging rhino, most fears you have are signs of what to do. When you take courage, you feel the aliveness in your soul.
Research by the American Psychological Association (APA) explained that the act of confronting and overcoming fears can demonstrate admirable qualities like courage, resilience, and confidence. These demonstrations of strength and determination can lead to increased self-respect and the respect of others.
2. Slow down their speech
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Here’s an example of one of the "act as if" behaviors that have a powerful impact on your sense of self-respect. When we consciously slow down, we silence the part of us that is rushing in fear. We mold ourselves into the kind of person who takes their time because they are confident in their ability.
Speaking more slowly, within a normal range, can be a simple yet effective way to enhance respect and positive perceptions by demonstrating empathy, promoting understanding, and avoiding negative impressions. Research has concluded that it shows that you are giving each word weight and importance, and the listener is more likely to give your words their full attention.
3. Make themselves occasionally scarce
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When we say yes to everyone, we infringe on our personal space and freedom. You might enjoy the brief high of pleasing others, but ultimately, you lose your self-respect when the balance becomes skewed. Honor yourself first, and have this reflected in the boundaries you set.
When someone is perceived as scarce in terms of availability or access, their presence or attention may become more highly valued. Research cautions to be mindful of the potential for manipulation in social interactions when using the scarcity principle.
4. Keep doing the thing that's actually moving the needle
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Someone once said something that changed my entire thinking about fulfillment: It’s about knowing you are becoming increasingly useful. Consistency is how our usefulness becomes honed, expanded, and felt. It’s also a powerful discipline that will make you feel good about yourself. Become insanely consistent in at least one great thing.
According to a 2019 study, when you consistently demonstrate competence in a useful skill, people learn they can depend on you. When people know they can rely on you to be consistent, it creates a sense of stability and predictability that fosters deeper connections and mutual respect.
5. Let go of empty highs
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Cut out habits that bring you shame. You know what they are. Many of us irrationally do things we feel bad about. We do it because of short-term pleasure. But what if you saw that the high from bad habit avoidance is bigger than any short-term high?
Studies show that the ability to delay gratification is linked to trustworthiness. By choosing long-term, meaningful rewards over immediate, empty gratification, you demonstrate self-control and reliability, which can influence how others perceive your trustworthiness.
6. Develop emotional control
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Ever gotten super angry and done something you regretted? Exactly. A lack of emotional control leads to self-disrespect.
Hone this skill by nurturing the gap between the triggering stimulus and the response. Breathe when angry. It’s a muscle like any other, and it may even save your life.
Developing emotional control allows individuals to navigate social interactions with greater skill, build stronger relationships, and demonstrate the qualities that typically earn respect from others. One study cautions that while emotional control is beneficial, suppressing emotions entirely can also be detrimental to the self.
7. Let go of grudges
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Many of us suffer tremendously because we allow others to disrupt our emotional balance. We get jealous. We feel triggered. We get offended. Our loss.
We can’t truly respect ourselves if someone is living in our heads rent-free. What would it do for your self-respect if you found a way to let go? What if you dropped the hostility and offered to shake the hand of he who wronged you? You’re stronger when you take the higher ground of forgiveness.
8. Show up for the stuff most people avoid
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This isn’t a green light to go out and be a straight-up reckless clutz. Hard things that require grit, staying power, and discipline bring the best rewards of all.
You know this. What are they, and how can you bring more of them into your life? Make a list and take action.
The concept of effort moralization suggests that people tend to attach moral worth to hard work, regardless of the outcome. Research has found that this can lead to increased trust, admiration, and ultimately, greater respect in your social and professional interactions.
9. Rise to the occasion
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Few things stir up a sense of pride more than leadership. Who can you help? How can you help? Is there a way you can bring people together in a community that supports the common good and helps others overcome problems?
Become a leader in your life. Research suggests that qualities associated with respected individuals, such as strong emotional connection to a situation, authenticity, and resilience, are crucial factors in their ability to perform well and adapt to challenges.
10. Radiate good vibes
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I always say happiness is a choice. How you feel needn’t be based on what’s happening in your world. You create it.
Be upbeat and you will infect those around you with your energy, which will, in turn, maintain your positive vibe. When individuals radiate positivity, research has found that mirror neurons in the brains of those around them can be triggered, allowing others to resonate with and amplify those positive emotions.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
