If Someone Does These 6 Oddly Specific Things, They’re Probably A Writer
SHOTPRIME | Canva There are numerous misconceptions about being a writer, and naturally, a few of them make people a bit nervous. We’ve all heard of the stereotypical writer: the hipster with glasses and complicated coffee orders. Or the perpetual intern with their notebooks and white privilege sneering at the “sheeple with day jobs!”
It’s easy enough to avoid those people, but what are the more subtle signs of a non-stereotypical writer? And how can you tell if your new squeeze is actually a writer you want to hang with? Never fear! This handy guide will tell you if your new squeeze is a stereotypical writer through these oddly specific behaviors that suggest they're quite adept at putting pen to paper.
If someone does these oddly specific things, they're probably a writer:
1. They both love and hate the work of their rivals
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Your stereotypical writer will trawl the bookstores for the latest big hit, read it, and then rip it to shreds on their blog. While hate-reading a popular piece of work is entertaining, it’s also pretty exhausting—yes, I am very guilty of all of that.
If you are dating a non-stereotypical writer, they will be pretty chill about the successes of their rivals. Moreover, they will not be watching the bestseller lists “because it takes three years to publish anything anyway.” If they pick up a hyped book, it will be because they are genuinely curious, not because they want to ask you why “this piece of garbage gets sold for seven figures.”
Researchers at Tilburg University discovered that "benign envy" makes you want to level up your own work, while "malicious envy" makes you want to drag the other person down. The difference is whether you genuinely believe your own effort can get you where they are.
2. They don't write everything about you — but some of it probably is
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Unless, of course, you do something that inspires a lot of writing. Then, all bets are off. Look, human beings tend to remember intense and negative emotions far more clearly than they do the mundane or even the positive ones.
If someone broke your beloved’s heart, you can bet they will write about it. Conversely, if your relationship is pretty relaxed and cool, you should not be offended if they keep it out of their stories. Non-stereotypical writers are good about privacy—even if you do something that genuinely makes them mad, they will probably just tell you. So, stop reading into their novel in the search for clues.
3. They are not driven to excesses, but some are
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The idea that writers spend their free time in a drunken stupor is not a realistic one. Why waste an evening snoozing over a beer when you can spend the evening perfecting your poetry collection? The rewards never compare. Even when they are celebrating, you are more likely to find them nursing a whiskey all evening than guzzling champagne from the bottle.
Same goes for smoking, sex, and other excesses — non-stereotypical writers, in short, are a really boring bunch. When researchers at the University of Graz tested the alcohol-and-creativity connection, they found that drinking impaired executive function and did nothing for the kind of creative thinking that real writing demands. Any tiny benefit was limited to extremely small amounts, and past that, it just made everything worse.
4. They are serious about their routines
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No, their routines do not involve candles, burning sage, or other #instagram writer things. Usually, they sit down to write every day. They go for runs. Their morning pages are sacred. And if you try to tell them to take a night off, you may find yourself in the doghouse.
Unfortunately, non-stereotypical writers don’t differ that much from stereotypical writers in their routines, except that their routines actually have a purpose in advancing them in their writing. Getting 100 rejections in a year? This helps their career. Posing for the ‘gram to the light of candles? Yeah, that’s useless—she says, after culling every writing selfie from her page.
5. They’re used to rejection
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To write is to get rejected: this is a truth your non-stereotypical writer accepts and embraces. Hence, what they will not do is work for free or for exposure, unless they think it’s really worth their while. Like the folks who reject the unpaid internships, these writers understand that there is a difference between a move that helps them hone their skills and just getting exploited.
They will struggle with it, of course, because the writer’s guilt always looks the same. Hence, they will stand their ground because they know what they’re worth. In the 2023 WGA strike, nearly 98% of members voted to walk out. They held the line for 148 days and secured a deal worth $233 million more per year than before. That's what happens when an entire profession collectively decides it's done being undervalued.
6. They don't react well when their work is treated like a free favor
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Asking your partner to write content for your marketing company as a favor will go over like a ton of bricks. Why? Because they’ve had this offer before, and it sucked.
People assume they would do anything for the exposure, nevermind if it is in their wheelhouse or not. The fact that you—the person they love—pays so little attention to their passion and treats it with disrespect is the sort of thing people get dumped for. If you really want to show the writer in your life that you love and support them, buy their stuff. Share their blog. Look for opportunities that they might actually like. Buy them books and fix their laptop.
Flowers and diamonds are overrated anyway. And, if by any chance you are dating a stereotypical writer, buy them books, too. No writer doesn’t love books.
Katja Bart is a writer who co-founded the Bushwick Entrepreneurs Club; in Berlin, she hosted a Kitchen Table Provocations Salon. Now, in Los Angeles, she's launched an Open Writing Studio at Heavy Manners Library.
