52 Simple Lessons That Will Make Your Life 1,000X Easier
Life is a journey, but there are certain things all of us need to know.
CandyRetriever / Shutterstock Most people don't get through life without a few lessons, and for me, having others share theirs is one of the most incredible gifts I can receive.
Even if I don't agree with their statements or actions, I often find out new things about myself and what I want out of life (and don't want) as a result of these conversations.
Of course, I have my own daily trip-ups, hang-ups, and stumbles to learn from as well. Here, I share the list I wrote for myself detailing the lessons (that make for happiness) I have learned thus far.
Here are 52 simple lessons that will make your life 1,000X easier:
1. Live life as your true self
If you are living authentically and without fear, you can't please everyone (or even most people) for longer than a couple of weeks. If you find yourself proving this wrong, take it as a sign you need to make a change.
2. You're going to get hurt
You aren't supposed to get through life without scuffing your knees, breaking your heart, or taking a wrong turn. Lessons and sorrows are the shadings in the overall painting.
3. You are your own person
In spite of what is perpetuated by romantic comedies, the truth is that you are complete all on your own, all of the time.
4. Know how to communicate
People who cannot communicate effectively, clearly, and respectfully tend to live very difficult lives.
5. Be proud of yourself
Taking pride in your work, reputation, value system and appearance is a great way to get to where you want to go much faster.
7. Your worth is not determined by how someone treats you
Your value does not shrink or expand in relation to how much emotion, time, or money someone else is willing to spend on you.
8. Kindness will take you so far
Rage, entitlement, and arrogance may help you break down a wall, but compassion, good manners, and a calm demeanor are the keys to getting through the door and being welcomed on the other side.
9. Missing them doesn't mean they should be welcomed back
You can miss something, and still not want it back.
10. Love is a precious and valuable gift
It's almost as valuable as time with someone you love.
11. That said, love is not enough
You need trust, mutual respect, and understanding to make a relationship work.
12. No one is going to swoop in and save you or grant you three wishes
If you want something, you'd better work for it.
13. Life is lovely and exciting, but it isn't always fair
That's the universal truth.
14. Appreciate all the moments good and bad
When it's over, you'll wish you put down that phone and paid closer attention and you won't care about those petty arguments.
15. You're not supposed to be like everybody else
This is why you have your very own body, mind, and soul.
16. Most people get jealous, angry, and worked up over stupid things
Forgive them for it, because you've been there too.
17. Live in the present moment
Every day we make a choice to go out and play or stare at a wall where the past is hanging.
18. Apologize to your friends when you hurt them
Sincere apologies mean something. Those friendships without them mean nothing.
19. Know how to pick good people
Life is hard enough without having to spend it with hard people.
20. There are certain things out of your control
Aside from your actions and reactions, you can't control it, whatever it is.
21. Lying is never the right answer
The smallest lie can cause the biggest heartache.
22. People who love you will hurt you
Those who love you care when they hurt you, even when they didn't mean to.
23. Know your strengths and your limits
You're much smarter, stronger, and more capable than you think — and much less invincible.
24. Treat everyone the same
Every person on this earth is a human being and all human beings were created equal, so don't look up and don't look down.
25. Trust your intuition
Your heart can be mistaken but your gut is always right, even when you don't want it to be.
26. Perfection is unattainable
No one is living a perfect life, they just have perfect moments like you and me. Everyone has problems.
27. Don't waste your time with the wrong people
Don't bother with people for whom decency/kindness/honesty is something they have to "work on."
28. Know when something is actually a lesson
Some obligations, disappointments, and heartaches are just blessings with the wrong name.
29. When you feel something is right, go with it
This will always be the right choice.
30. Dreams are important, but reality only changes when we do
You have to put in the work to make your dreams come true.
31. Passion without compassion is a disaster
Love everything and everyone with kindness.
32. Opportunity does not come knocking, it waits for you to find it
But you have to make the step to go out there and look for it
32. Know when a guy is being a jerk
You really don't have to put up with all of that crap, you know?
33. Your parents' actions are not your responsibilities
You are not responsible for the things your parents did or did not say to you, do for you, or teach you. You are, however, responsible for everything you say, do, and show others. Drunk or sober, angry or joyful, sincere or not.
34. Know when to leave
Sometimes you "win" by just deciding to stop talking, get up, and go.
35. Don't compare your life to someone else's
Just because she is pretty or he is attractive doesn't mean you're not. Just because he or she has a great job or has met someone doesn't mean you won't. Turn that jealousy into inspiration and watch your life blossom.
36. It's not about being "hot"
It's about being intelligent, honest, kind, self-respecting, decent, and drop-dead smart. That's gorgeous.
37. There are plenty of good men and women out there
If someone gives you anxiety, excuses, a reason not to believe him/her, or anything that requires a prescription, they need to be out of your life.
38. Having a relationship is not the goal
Having a healthy, happy, and loving relationship (with yourself and then someone else) is.
39. There's never a reason to be a mean girl
You're an intelligent, compassionate, and professional woman. Carry yourself like one and surround yourself with women who think catty is best reserved for Lindsay Lohan movies.
40. Know how to act in your relationships
When it comes to your relationships, spend more time than money, give more compliments than criticisms, and for goodness' sake, flash your manners.
41. A negative imagination is a dangerous, destructive device
Just because they say it, or you think it, doesn't make it true.
42. Buff men are not always the better choice
Men who have six packs and great biceps often sustain themselves on a diet consisting of chicken and eggs and will choose the gym over date night with you. Remember that.
43. It's OK to be ambitious, but not ruthless
Don't lose friendships as you climb the ladder.
44. Don't spend your time trying to date a baller
Spend it working to become a baller. He or she who dates someone for money should not be surprised when they treat them poorly. How do you treat that sweater you bought three years ago?
45. It's OK to like sex
If you have it with someone who has not shown you respect, told you they love you, or wanted to date you before having it, it's not a good idea to expect the act alone to change the status quo.
46. Keep your nose clean and live with dignity
This upgrades everything in your life from your relationships to your mental stability.
47. Just because you ignore it doesn't make it go away
Just because you rationalize it doesn't make it right, and just because you want him doesn't make him right for you.
48. Karma is really caused and effect
Change your actions, reactions, and the way you put yourself out there and you'll change the way the world responds to you.
49. Love means different things to different people
When you say "I Love You," you are taking responsibility for your actions and suggesting you will care about another person and their feelings. If they love you like they love hot dogs and songs on their playlist, that's not going to do much for you long-term.
50. Happiness is up to you
Happiness may not always be as easy as making a choice to be happy, but we always have a choice as to how to filter situations we find ourselves in. Is it proof the universe hates us or is it just life?
51. You have things about you that make you oh-my-goodness-look-at-them beautiful
Beauty isn't always physical.
52. Your life is happening, right now, in real-time
The world is moving and days are passing. This can be seen as time passing us by or an ever-present opportunity to experience something new, make amends, step in a new direction, reach out, and show gratitude. Just remember that everything you want is out there and everything you need to achieve it is inside of you.
Brenda Della Casa is the author of Cinderella Was a Liar, former managing editor of Preston Bailey, a Huffington Post Blogger, and a contributor for Divalicous.