The Art Of Optimism: 3 Simple Habits Of People Who Hold Onto Light When Life Gets Really Dark
Even in their hardest seasons, these people find tiny sparks of hope.
PeopleImages | Canva Have you ever been in a holding pattern, waiting on something important? Maybe it’s an acceptance letter. Or the results of a biopsy sent off to the lab. Perhaps, it’s whether or not you got a big promotion. We’ve all been there, and the in-between can be painful. When this happens, your mind can move into overdrive and quickly head down a negative path.
"What if I didn’t get in?" "What if it’s cancer?" "What if someone else got the job? "
Once you let in negative thoughts, they can quickly lead to a negative thought pattern. After all, the average person has 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day, and 80 percent are negative. Surprised?
Have you ever had a great day ruined by one critical comment? Or attended a fun evening out only to spend the next day focused on the thoughtless words you spoke to a friend? It can be easy to head into a negative thought pattern, but there’s also a way out. That’s because humans are the only species that can change their thoughts and hold onto light when life gets dim.
Here are 3 simple habits of people who hold onto light when life gets really dark:
1. They switch it up
The first step is to identify a few foolproof, positive thoughts that can’t lose. Everyone has them. These are the thoughts that make you light up, sending your energy skyward.
Maybe it’s your faith or a memory you’re forever grateful for. Maybe it’s a place you adore or a person you can’t do life without. Whichever you choose, they just put you in a better mood.
Pick three or more, and when your thoughts turn negative, switch it up! Replace each negative thought with one of your favorite positive thoughts. In this way, you can learn to redirect your thought pattern for the better.
A study on prioritizing positivity explained that facing new experiences and stepping outside your comfort zone builds confidence and teaches adaptability. Over time, this makes you more resilient and better equipped to handle new challenges with a positive attitude, rather than being derailed by them.
2. They make peace with what they don’t know
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When you’re waiting, it’s easy to start making plans for the outcome, good or bad. But this is a trap that can lead you right back to a negative thought pattern.
My grandmother used to say, "Man plans, God decides." Whether you have faith in a higher power or not, the fact that you’re not totally in control of your fate can be hard to accept.
That’s why it’s uncomfortable in the mid-zone, which is where you are! Don’t plan for something that may or may not even happen. Instead, make peace with what you don’t know.
By accepting the unpredictable nature of life, people can redirect their mental energy away from fear and anxiety toward a growth-oriented mindset. Studies on concepts like ambiguity tolerance and cognitive flexibility explain how the ability to adapt your thinking to new or changing situations is a strong predictor of optimism.
3. They examine their thoughts
If you spend time on negative "what ifs," it’s possible you can actually will them to happen. "Think positive" isn’t just a cute saying — it can actually improve your mindset, your relationships, and your overall health.
When you have a negative thought, it’s time to examine it. Ask yourself: Is this thought a fact or is it an assumption? Most negative thoughts are actually just assumptions. When they hang around too long, they can turn into beliefs — ones you made up yourself!
Cognitive restructuring teaches you to observe, challenge, and reframe your thoughts, which reshapes your mental patterns toward a more balanced and hopeful perspective. Research has found that mindfulness would also help you create distance from your thoughts.
Table the assumptions and the facts — then your reality won’t be so overwhelming. Next time you’re in a holding pattern, don’t assume the worst. Instead, follow through with the three steps above and work towards a more positive you.
Hilary DeCesare is the Founder and CEO of The ReLaunch Co. She’s appeared on ABC’s The Secret Millionaire and on major news outlets such as CBS, ABC, Fox, and Huffington Post.
