3 Sad Realities Only Truly Confident Women Understand

Some people don't like to see you being true to yourself.

The sad realities of a woman with real confidence beaveraphotos | Canva

You probably think there are only benefits to rocking your self-confidence. But the truth is, there are also a few hidden dangers that actually keep most people from fully achieving this much sought-after trait. Change always includes uncertainty ... and that uncertainty often feels more intimidating than staying stuck, stressed, and overwhelmed in a life you don’t like. The very fact that you want to create a better life for yourself speaks volumes about your courage. To help you get there, let me give you this heads-up about things that often occur. That way, if they do, you'll know you're actually right on track! 


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Here are 3 sad realities only truly confident women understand:

1. People may leave your life

Other people serve as a mirror for us to see what we like or dislike in ourselves. Those who see you taking charge of your life and creating more of what you want (and less of what you don’t) will respond in one of two ways:

  • They'll cheer you on, jump on your bandwagon, learn what you’re doing, and rock their own life alongside you.
  • They'll feel threatened by your success and happiness and will attempt to sabotage you with their words/actions or leave your life completely. (Trust me, leaving is preferable.)

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2. You may not "fit in" anymore

You live in your current situation because you "fit" there. When you begin to change how you think, feel, and respond to life, you may go through a time when you feel like you’re in limbo. This is because you no longer fit in with the others, whom Guy Winch, Ph.D. describes as chronic complainers and those who fail to choose to step into their power. As a result, conversations may seem boring to you when, before, they were exciting. Or, places you go may no longer feel comfortable anymore. Why? Because you’re upgrading your entire life by building self-confidence! And embracing newness might feel scary. But, good news! It’s also exciting at the same time as you watch your progress and stick with your plan to grow into a more confident version of yourself.

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3. You might be alone for a while

As you shift your focus and feelings to healthier, more empowering ones, you may feel alone for some time. Fortunately, getting to know yourself requires some Me-Time. I assure you there are more than enough wonderful new friends and situations awaiting your arrival. This temporary alone time is best invested in healthy ways. Read empowering books. Listen to music that feeds your soul. Exercise to honor that fabulous body of yours regardless of size or shape.

@workinonitpod Sometimes you gotta let the universe do it’s thing 🪐✨ #workinonitpod #drewafualo ♬ original sound - Workin’ On It Podcast

Stepping into your power feels uncomfortable at first (and that's okay!). Consider yourself your own best friend and treat yourself as such. This is honestly the most powerful, loving thing you can do on your journey to build self-confidence. Learning to treat yourself well is vital before you emerge into new friendships and situations. You’ll always fall back on the most important human relationship you will ever have — the relationship with yourself.


As you experience these shifts, know they are simply signs of a most magnificent transformation of your life. Losing people who don’t have your best interest in mind, not fitting in with the situations that keep you playing small, and being alone with the most important person in your life (you!) are powerful steps forward. Will it hurt? Sometimes. Is that okay? Sure! 

Just feel the feelings, adjust your perspective, and move on. No more stuffing emotions. Let them out in a healthy way. I love to journal my feelings — and it’s a blast to read them later and see how far I’ve come since. You absolutely, 100% deserve a life you enjoy and a future you look forward to ... and that begins with self-confidence! This journey takes courage and I know you can do it.

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Kelly Rudolph is a Certified Life Coach and Hypnotherapist who helps her clients manage stress and experience personal growth through greater confidence.