Research Defines 4 Things That Make A Person Happiest — And None Of Them Cost A Thing
Tucker Tangeman | Unsplash Are you present for an emotional state that you're enjoying? Accept that you have the power to change any unwanted emotional state to one that you can enjoy. You have control over changing your emotional state. The choice is yours, but you have to be focused and intentional about the change.
Happiness is a natural emotion that is expressed in the DNA of human beings. The challenge is that the individual has to generate happiness. Happiness does not happen, as needs to be generated. It is a choice for the individual who will be amiss if he/she expects someone else to provide it. The Power Plant does not receive electricity: it's generated. Similarly, you cannot simply expect your joy to occur. You have to generate it, and you have the power to generate your own joy.
Some people provide you with pleasure as opposed to joy, and you must discern the difference. Pleasure is what people give you, and therefore, they can offer it or withhold it. On the other hand, happiness is an internal emotion, and you are the one to create it. Similarly, you generate sorrow in your life, although others may provide the circumstances or environment.
Here are the 4 things research defines that make a person happiest and cost nothing:
1. The company you keep
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If you have a problem or difficulty, look closely, and you will notice that a human being is usually at the center of the problem. Moreover, the research has shown that the company you keep—your relationships impact who you become.
One statistic is that you become the average of the 5 closest people you interact with regularly. You achieve over time the average income of your 5 closest associates. Also, you will eventually reflect the success profile of the average successes of your 5 closest associates.
Consciously nurture every relationship you have, and life will be more fulfilling for you. One of the marks of mature spirituality is your ability to relate in peace and harmony with others. Sometimes a person will avoid having a meaningful relationship with another. You need to confront the negative thinking patterns that sabotage your ability to love your neighbor as yourself.
2. The limits you impose on yourself
Some negative factors that inhibit happiness are:
- Your fear that your limitations will be exposed.
- Your fear that differing perspectives will sabotage the needed harmony.
- Your inability to master interpersonal skills.
- Your lack of listening skills.
- A denial that you need to improve your relationships.
- You do not take action to correct or change the current bad relationships.
Harvard's 85-year study on happiness found that people who had strong, supportive relationships at age 50 were the healthiest and happiest at age 80, no matter how much money they made or how famous they became. The research showed that loneliness is actually as dangerous to your health as smoking or alcoholism, while good relationships literally protect your body from stress and help you live longer.
3. The way you deal with your feelings
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You can build better relationships if you're committed to doing so. You can affect the people with whom you interact. Some approaches to follow to build better relationships are:
- Intelligently dealing with your emotions, as well as the emotions of others in contact with you.
- Being of service to others without there being any specific direct benefit to you.
- Being kind to others in all circumstances.
- Taking into account the concerns and values of others when dealing with them.
Research on emotional intelligence found that people who can recognize and manage their own emotions while understanding how others feel have way better relationships and experience significantly more happiness overall. When you're emotionally intelligent enough to handle your feelings without losing it and can actually tune into what someone else is going through, you build the kind of connections that make people feel supported.
4. The desire to continually evolve
The first principle of personal growth is to know where you stand and where you want to go — clarity of intention. Self-assessment is a master key for evolving to be a better person.
I only got an insight into why my relationships were not as beautiful as I wanted them to be when I became aware of my narrow and limited views. I was always right in any encounter. I wanted things my way as I knew the answers, and "I was right." Do not fall into this trap of self-righteousness.
Research on self-awareness found that when you actually understand who you are instead of just believing flattering stories about yourself, you experience way more vitality and better coping skills, Knowing your real strengths and limitations allows you to make decisions that genuinely fit who you are, which leads to more happiness because you're not constantly fighting against your own nature or pretending to be someone you're not.
Phillip Rochford is a development coach with more than 40 years of experience in both the corporate and personal arenas.
