3 Qualities Extremely Attractive Women Just Naturally Have
It's the subtle qualities that make people want to know more about you.
Leonardo Gonzalez | Unsplash I haven't been out in the dating scene for a few years, but I have quite a few single gal friends who frequent online dating sites and the bar scene. Their shared tales are enough to make me want to repeat Carrie Fisher's line in When Harry Met Sally: "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again!"
Yes, it's harder than ever to find an honest, consistent gentleman who is looking for partnership and is serious about settling down. However, despite most women's experiences, I'm here to say that these elusive gentlemen do exist, and they are waiting for you!/
The key is in knowing what attracts a man to a woman and inspiring them to step up and treat you like the extremely attractive woman you are. Research argues that it goes beyond merely focusing on physical appearance and extends to appreciating the interplay of physical and non-physical traits that contribute to attraction and relationship satisfaction.
Here are three qualities extremely attractive women just naturally have:
1. An appreciative heart
Most women are very appreciative at heart. We feel flattered when a man compliments us or shows interest. If the attention and praise are coming from an attractive man, some of us get so excited and caught off guard that we freeze up with nerves and/or question his sincerity.
For this reason, most women often forget to express appreciation. We forget to say "thank you." We don't take that extra moment when we're out with a man on a date to look him in the eye, soften our voice, and tell him that he's touched our heart.
Often, we even deflect compliments and acts of kindness, and honor. A man will say, "You look beautiful tonight," and we rush to compliment him back. Even though men enjoy flattery, they want to feel that their compliments have landed with us and positively affect us.
Most men don't know that a woman who doesn't say "thank you" is just uncomfortable basking in male attention. Usually, a man will take a deflected compliment personally, feeling he doesn't have the power to impress his date with words.
Men find appreciativeness attractive because it contributes to a more fulfilling and stable relationship by enhancing the positive emotional experience within the relationship. A 2024 study found that gratitude fosters a positive cycle where both partners feel valued and supported, leading to increased relationship satisfaction and resilience.
2. A soothing vibe
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It doesn't matter how tough you are, softness is about tenderness and vulnerability, and even the loudest gals can be soft in all the right ways. What attracts a man to a woman is an extended invitation on her part for him to get to know her on a deeper level.
If you are sending men the message that your heart is walled up with barbed wire, you aren't going to inspire men to act like gentlemen. You are going to make them feel challenged and defensive.
Think of your heart as a pillow. I know that sounds silly, but it might help chip away any brittleness and loosen you up. Next time you're with a man and you feel anxious or closed off, take a moment to visualize your heart as a pillow.
What does it look like? Soft, fluffy, cozy, and snuggly, right? Let this image of a "pillow heart" loosen any tension in your body, especially in your hips and face. Let yourself melt into your seat. Don't forget to breathe.
If you start to shake with nerves, it's okay. He'll feel flattered that he has the power to unnerve a pretty gal like yourself. What's important is that you invite him into your heart by softening any severe edges, so that he begins to feel encouraged to come closer.
3. A calming energy
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You'll often hear smart, funny women say that men don't appreciate smart, funny women. That's simply not true. Men love intelligence and a great sense of humor. What a lot of men don't like is hostile energy, and unfortunately, a lot of smart and funny women have a hostile, masculine energy.
Being really smart and witty and being neurotic usually go hand in hand. A little neurosis is charming, but a woman who overanalyzes everything isn't attractive to most men. What attracts a man is her calm energy. This comes with trust and surrender. When you can trust that you and your date will have fun and enjoy one another — and when you can surrender to any variable that's out of your control (like his behavior) — then you make room for a connection to form.
Men want to share intimate moments with women who can stay in the present moment. Being in a calm, peaceful mindset on a date makes a big difference. It allows you to relate to your date. It allows him to feel emotionally safe opening up and sharing himself with you. It allows you to be funny in an attractive way, which is more playful than being sarcastic and cynical.
Next time you go on a date, take some time beforehand to relax. Whether it's in a hot bubble bath or sitting outside under the shade of a peaceful tree, take a moment to get centered and to connect with your heart and soul. It will make a big difference in your ability to be intimate and tender.
According to a 2014 study, men may find feminine tranquility attractive due to its perceived links to health, stability, and qualities that facilitate emotional connection and a secure partnership. Feminine tranquility can provide a sense of calm and balance for men, potentially complementing masculine traits and creating a harmonious partnership.
Dating is the opposite of a job interview or a chit-chat with friends. A date is your time to be vulnerable, playful, and gentle. Think about the men who turn you on — they are the ones who can slow down and connect with you sensually and melodically, which makes you feel like the only woman in the room. It's time to make him feel like the only man in your universe—even if you are juggling three other guys on the side.
Kristina Marchant is a writer and author with a BA in psychology from Barnard College at Columbia University. She is also a relationship coach who advises women on men and healthy relationship skills.
