Psychology Says A Person Will Only Be Happy In Life If They Nurture These 4 Simple Habits
Luis Aleman | Unsplash Most of us spend years chasing happiness in all the wrong places. We keep waiting for some big moment when everything clicks into place, and we suddenly feel fulfilled. But what decades of psychological research actually tell us about happiness is that it's not hiding in some future achievement or external circumstance.
The people who report being genuinely happy practice four specific habits that don't cost anything and don't require you to be a certain type of person, and the best part? You can start building them into your life right now.
Psychology says a person will only be happy in life if they nurture these 4 simple habits:
1. Being grateful for everyday things
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Wondering how to be happy? You have to honor your existing blessings to receive more blessings. The adage, "Ingratitude is worse than witchcraft," is instructive. Gratitude is the expression or affirmation by the receiver to the giver. The United States celebrates every year its holiday of Thanksgiving. What really does "Thanksgiving" mean to you? Put simply, it is a sense of gratitude to reflect on the goodness in your life, and honor that bounty. This is as opposed to what's missing in your life.
Research on gratitude found that people who regularly count their blessings instead of focusing on what's missing report being significantly happier and less depressed than those who don't. When people spent just one week writing down things they were grateful for, their happiness kept increasing for months afterward, long after they stopped the practice, because gratitude literally rewires your brain to appreciate the good stuff that's already in your life.
2. Recognizing the little things we forget to value
I was speaking to a client, who had both eyes operated on, and for 24 hours thereafter, her eyes were blindfolded, and she could not see. When the bandages were removed, she was ecstatic. She said, "I really appreciated my sight in those darkened 24 hours. I did not know where I was. I was completely disoriented moving about the house. Although my daughter was guiding me, I felt lost."
Another client told me how he called a friend, who, since his wife died, was perpetually depressed. My client started to tell his friend over the telephone how he should be thankful for his blessings, and his friend slammed the telephone in his ear. Half an hour later, the friend telephoned, apologized for his behavior, and thanked his friend for his concern. The depressed friend then said, "I reflected, and appreciated that my children are around me, I am not destitute, and I have my sight, hearing, and use of my legs. I am shifting to an attitude of gratitude. I am thankful."
You do not have to go through an eye operation or the death of a spouse to recognize that there are many blessings for which you can be thankful. Give thanks! Reflect on all the goodness that is in your life, and celebrate. Every day, I give thanks that I have good health for my age, that I am loved by my family and close friends, and that I am mentally stable. When you appreciate what you have and give thanks, you open the windows of heaven for more blessings to be showered on you. Light a candle of thanksgiving rather than murmur about what's missing in your life. Celebrate life, and all that it has bestowed on you.
3. Notice the way you've been fortunate
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One aspect of acknowledging a benefit is thankfulness to your Creator. This accounts for so many prayers of many traditions referring to thankfulness to the Creator. This covers areas of the elements of the physical body, prosperity, and wisdom. Then there is gratitude for what others have contributed towards you. You live in a community, and others support you in different ways for which you should show gratitude. Gratitude for how your immediate home environment and the environmental community system protect you is important for your spiritual growth.
What is the connection between gratitude and spirituality? Research shows that people who display gratitude tend to be less stressed, have greater positive emotions, and demonstrate a better overall quality of life than ingrates. Such conditions of gratitude support a keener spiritual awareness.
4. Keep track of the good moments
You can strengthen your practice of gratitude. Keep a journal of gratitude for thirty consecutive days. A notebook will do, or use your computer, if you are so inclined. Thirty consecutive days are suggested, as research shows that a period of action for 21 to 28 consecutive days will increase the chances of the habit becoming ingrained in your consciousness. It will strengthen your inner exploration.
Gratitude deepens the fullness of life. It confirms what you have and opens the opportunity for more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity. Gratitude helps you to accept your past, be satisfied with today, and create hope for tomorrow.
The concept is simple. You are trained from birth to look for what's missing and not what you have. The logical outcome is that you want more and more. In fact, that's what spiritual growth and success are all about. I am inviting you to deliberately focus on an attitude of gratitude. This will generate more of what you want in your life. There is an ancient spiritual law that says, the more you are grateful for what you have, the more abundance will flow into your life.
The process of keeping the journal is that every day for thirty consecutive days, you record what you are grateful for in your life. It may be something special that occurred that day, or your health, your relationships, your spiritual consciousness, your career, or whatever you believe makes your life worthwhile. Be as specific as possible.
Target each day to record at least three things for which you are thankful. Do not keep repeating the same blessing. Look for a new Thanksgiving each day. Look for the silver lining in what is taking place with different situations each day. Give yourself this gift for the next thirty consecutive days. Go for it, and you will generate a better future for your life.
Phillip Rochford is a development coach with more than 40 years of experience in both the corporate and personal arenas.
