9 Phrases People Usually Say Before They Realize They’re Probably Neurodivergent
llaszlo | Shutterstock People with more neurodivergent minds may have many advantages over others. The things some people call quirks might actually be highly useful tools for someone on the Autism spectrum or who has ADHD.
So, if you're one of the people who says things like this often, you might be one of these unique and wonderful people.
People often say these phrases before realizing they’re most likely neurodivergent:
1. ‘I have to visualize the task before I do it’
DexonDee | Shutterstock
Visualization is a technique that many successful people use to picture what they need to do next and build the confidence required to do it. It activates neural pathways that aren’t very different from the ones controlled by actual actions, so it can be very effective.
Some people use visualization in a slightly different way, though. Instead of it almost being like a form of manifestation, they feel the need to picture every step of a task before they complete it. This can help ease anxiety over a situation or simply help them remember what to do.
Neurodivergent people may think everyone does this, but some people really do just go ahead and do things and not worry about them or even plan all that much. It really is amazing how different humans can be from one another, and none are truly superior.
2. ‘I'm practicing my coffee order’
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
People who aren’t neurodivergent thinkers often don’t think too hard about normal interactions. Of course, anyone can feel nervous sometimes, but these folks don’t usually feel a sense of anxiety as they draw closer to the front of the line at the coffee shop or worry they'll say their own order wrong.
For people who are neurodivergent, it's different. The preparation often makes them feel more secure and confident, so repeating their order in their head can bring comfort.
This anxiety is usually referred to as anticipatory anxiety, meaning it causes concern about something that could happen in the future. For those who are neurodivergent, it can feel like that’s just the way the brain is supposed to work, but that’s not a universal experience.
3. ‘I like to reward myself for doing something I didn't want to do'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Some people are stuck in a constant cycle of bargaining with themselves, often about what needs to be done. It’s like they’re trying to talk themselves into doing something that they already know is inevitable. This sounds similar to procrastination, but it’s more intense and frequent.
It can be hard for some neurodivergent people to stay motivated, especially if they tend to be perfectionists. That makes it feel like if it can’t be done flawlessly, it shouldn’t be done at all.
Unfortunately, this kind of all-or-nothing thinking tires the brain out in a way that can make it even harder to make decisions and get your work done on time.
4. ‘I can only be funny around people who feel safe’
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
Everyone has certain people who they feel more comfortable with than others, but those who are neurodivergent often feel this a bit more deeply. They’re aware that they don’t think in all the same ways, which can lead them to mask or camouflage their differences as a way to fit in.
This means the circle of people they feel safe with will likely be even smaller that usual. Otherwise, they may exhaust themselves trying to follow every social norm perfectly, and they can only act like their true selves around the people they trust the most, usually family.
For truly funny neurodivergent people to feel comfortable in a variety of spaces, they often take their time choosing friends and partners. After all, everyone deserves to be themselves and feel good about it.
5. ‘I need to rehearse this phone call before I make it’
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock
There are some people in the world who are able to make a phone call without a second thought, while others have to take time to prepare. As unpleasant as some calls can be, they’re an essential part of life. Any way you get through them works just fine.
In cases where this is really severe, it could actually be described as “phone anxiety” and require the help of a professional to work through. Someone who’s neurodivergent could easily end up at that level without even realizing anything was off.
It can also happen to neurotypical people when they're experiencing anxiety or showing signs of having OCD. Either way, rehearsing a call is a fantastic way to get your stuff done, but if this becomes a problem, it's always good to reach out for support so you can finally relax.
6. ‘That chair is for piling clean laundry'
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock
It would be pretty difficult to find anyone who truly loves doing laundry and adores folding and putting it away. It's a chore, after all, not a hobby. That may be why so many people with ADHD have a "floordrobe" where they dig through clean clothes.
Chores like this, that require multiple steps and states, can be particularly problematic for neurodivergent folks. Washing the clothes isn’t a problem, but putting them away is a different story. It just gets so boring after the first two stages.
It’s hard for people who think this way to find the motivation to do this because it just isn’t interesting. That means the clothes often end up collecting on a chair with the plan to put them away later. This is an interesting indicator of neurodivergence that could easily be written off as procrastination.
7. ‘I smile sometimes when I'm uncomfortable’
SofikoS | Shutterstock
We’re just starting to move into an era when it’s more socially acceptable to open up about how you’re really feeling, but things still aren't always easy for people who are neurodivergent. Just like they engage in masking when they’re around certain people, they also try to hide some emotions or react in ways others may not expect.
When someone shares how they’re doing with complete honesty, it actually helps them feel better because of a mental process called affect labeling. People who are neurodivergent are used to compensating for the ways their brains might work differently, so they avoid this.
Even though it will help them feel better to accurately reflect what they're feeling in the moment, it can be too much to handle sometimes. Often, a smile is their best reaction, even if others don't understand why.
8. 'I'm not ready to do things until the very last minute'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Motivation is often a completely different process for neurodivergent people than it is for those who are neurotypical. The average person feels motivated to do the things they need to do because of their dopamine levels, but people with conditions like ADHD don’t receive dopamine in the same way.
Things that feel too easy or too boring often aren’t a priority, and someone gently nudging them to do what’s necessary can make it feel even more off-putting. Instead of recognizing that a task is important and could get done early, someone with ADHD may wait until the last minute.
While folks on the outside may see this process as a sign of someone's lack of seriousness or laziness, there are other ways to frame it. After all, if getting down to the wire on a deadline helps someone do good work, then this so-called procrastination can be reframed as a tool, even if neurotypical people don't get it.
9. ‘I plan what to tell my friends before I see them’
Streamlight Studios | Shutterstock
Planning conversations before they happen might sound like something someone with social anxiety would do, but it’s a regular occurrence for the neurodivergent, too. While anxiety may be part of it, it's also for a different reason sometimes.
Some neurodivergent people are used to feeling misunderstood by the rest of the world, so they do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen. Sometimes that looks like going over a conversation before it ever happens. Other times it might be outline a list of topics they can talk about easily and comfortably.
Some people even like to discuss this list or plan for how to handle certain topics with someone they trust beforehand. Like so many other items on this list, it may seem weird to others, but for someone who is neurodivergent, it can be a very useful tool.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
