People Who Lie A Lot Almost Always Say These 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
sutulastock | Shutterstock Most people are more honest than we believe, except for a few "prolific liars," according to a 2022 study.
The average person might tell a white lie to protect someone's feelings or to paint themselves in a good light, but pathological liars are more focused on superiority and the pleasure of deception. While it can be difficult to unwind the stories and narratives they're crafting, people who lie say some pretty specific phrases, making them almost immediately easy to detect.
The biggest liars usually say these phrases during casual conversations:
1. 'Who would even make that up?'
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When someone is lying, they say something like "Who would even make that up?" They pretend to imagine this person as an outrageous and disgusting anomaly, when in reality, that person is them.
They gaslight people into believing that they could never be capable of making up a story or telling a lie, even when they're doing it under their noses all the time. They're shifting focus and deceiving people, while gaslighting them into avoiding accountability the entire time.
2. 'You know me'
Pathological liars are experts at avoiding questions, usually with some kind of emotional diversion that makes other people feel defensive and insecure. In this case, people who lie a lot turn to phrases like "you know me" to deflect, turning blame onto other people as a justification for their behavior.
Even when these excuses invalidate other people's pain and sabotage their relationships, they can't help but point fingers away from themselves. They want people to feel crazy and shameful, because it makes it way easier for them to tell lies that feed their insecure self-worth.
3. 'I never said that'
Gaslighting is a common form of manipulation, usually intended to make other people feel crazy for calling someone out or bringing up an issue. Pathological liars use it often, backtracking to change the past or their story and using phrases like "I never said that" to create doubt and confusion that works in their best interest.
Considering that this kind of chronic lying starts with self-deception in people, it's not surprising that they're comfortable with changing the narrative and lying to cover their tracks. They are already accepting those new changes as some weird version of the truth internally anyway.
4. 'It's not that big of a deal'
Chronic liars can't help but minimize their lies. Deception is second-nature, but taking accountability isn't something they're interested in doing.
Considering deception is so taxing on personal health and takes a lot more energy to keep up with, according to a study from the Advances in Cognitive Psychology, it makes pathological liars feel better when they minimize. If they can tell a lie without pushback or make people feel insane for bringing up their misbehavior, they don't have to take on any extra exhaustion from evading accountability.
5. 'I didn't mean that'
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For people who can at least acknowledge their deceit and lies, they may still rely on excuses like "I didn't mean it" to justify their behavior. It's not surprising, considering that deceit is a cycle that's hard to break free from.
According to a study from Nature Neuroscience, the more lies someone tells, the easier frequent lying and deceit become. So, even if it becomes a second-nature instinct to be untruthful, and they don't mean to be harmful, most pathological liars can't take a step back because it only becomes easier and easier to lie.
6. 'It really happened'
Considering pathological liars are known to exaggerate and dramatize their stories, they're constantly doubling down on the validity of their lies. "It really happened" and "Who would make that up?" are constantly in their arsenal of phrases, because it's impossible for that many insane things to happen to a single person. At least, that's what common sense tells us.
Most of the time, simple exaggerations to create a better story don't actively harm relationships, but when someone is outright lying for attention or a better self-image, that's when it becomes destructive. We all want to feel valued and important, but lying is rarely the way to craft that image, especially if you want to build connections and bonds with people in the long-term.
7. 'You should be thanking me'
Considering deceit is often rooted in some kind of inadequacy or insecurity internally, so many pathological liars cling to victim mentalities and self-pity. They need to feel more important than they feel they are. They need the attention, pity, admiration, and acceptance of others to feel good about themselves.
While this external approval and attention may provide them with good feelings for a period of time, a study from the British Journal of Social Psychology argues that telling lies only sabotages personal well-being and self-esteem over time.
8. 'That's what I meant to say'
A phrase like "that's what I meant to say" is often used by chronic liars who get their stories wrong. They've told so many versions of the same stories and used so many lies that it becomes impossible to keep track of everything. So, it's somewhat inevitable that at some point they're going to be called out for inconsistencies.
However, if there's anything common about pathological liars at their core, it is that they stand behind their lies at all costs. They're operating from a place of insecurity, so they'd rather double down and dig a deeper hole of dishonesty than admit they were seeking attention by being deceitful.
9. 'Yeah, whatever'
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One of the most common signs of a chronic liar is their tendency to seem ultra-calm when someone calls them out for lying. They might have a flash of angst or fear in their face, but most of the time, they're cool as a cucumber, used to the nature of playing a role.
Whether it's "yeah, whatever" or just an eye roll after being called out, someone who's used to lying is also probably used to defending themselves, even if it looks suspicious.
10. 'How could you question me?'
Most pathological liars deflect or defend themselves when they're called out. Even for tiny white lies and unsuspecting deceit, when someone calls them out, they immediately flip the script. If they can make someone else feel ashamed or embarrassed, they can stop them from feeling confident in calling out lies.
From "How could you question me?" to "it's like you don't even know me at all," these liars are used to shifting and deflecting any and all accountability onto the people in their vicinity.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
