People Who Forget What They Were Going To Say Right Before They Say It Usually Have 8 Stressful Things Going On
Dzmitryieu Dzmitry / Shutterstock We all forget what we wanted to say to someone from time to time, but under certain circumstances, it can happen so often that it becomes concerning.
Dealing with stressful experiences often makes it harder for us to recall things and communicate effectively. If someone finds that they keep forgetting what they were just about to say right before they say it, there’s a good chance it's not as simple as just being spacey or as worrying as entering dementia. It's more likely that they might have some pretty stressful things going on that are taking up precious resources in their minds.
People who keep forgetting what they were going to say just before they say it usually have these stressful things happening
1. They’re hiding something
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock.com
It often takes a lot more energy to be deceitful and hide a secret than to simply tell the truth. If someone’s trying to hide something from the person they're having a conversation with, they have to sift through more information and stress than the average person when choosing their words.
There’s also a chance someone who doesn’t know what they were just going to say was on the verge of revealing a secret or slipping up on a lie, and is trying to create an excuse to change the topic as a cover.
2. They’re overthinking everything
Anxiety puts extra stress on our brains, because on top of remembering all of our obligations, we’re also thinking about what could go wrong, what people are thinking about us, and a million other things we can’t always control. It jumbles our brains and preoccupies us, even when we’re trying to be present and have conversations with other people.
That’s why it’s not a stretch to assume that someone who loses what they’re going to say right before saying it is probably overthinking things. If trying to say the right thing or worrying about their personal life during a work meeting, the outside preoccupation can easily disrupt the flow of their thoughts.
3. They have a completely overflowing plate
When there’s way too much on someone’s plate and a million tasks on their to-do list, it sends tons of thoughts spiraling around their brain, and it’s easy for them to get lost. Even when they're actively engaged in speaking with someone, their brain can wander to what they have planned or what’s still left for them to do that day.
Especially if they’re also multitasking, which our brains don’t always handle incredibly well, it’s easy to lose focus. If they’re doing something with their hands and trying to hold a conversation, one or the other is bound to lose the brain’s focus at one point or another.
4. They don’t feel physically well
When we’re overwhelmed with sensory information, it can distract our brains from focusing and pull our attention away, often subconsciously. If someone’s not feeling physically well or battling sickness internally, the brain may get jumbled trying to mediate that stress while also holding a conversation or trying to work out a problem.
Even if they can avoid dealing with the pain or discomfort, or, at the very least, put on a brave face, losing their train of thought could be a sign that it’s a lot harder than they want to admit.
5. They’re burnt out
PeopleImages | Shutterstock.com
Whether it’s emotional exhaustion from being pulled in too many directions or feeling overloaded by an unsustainable workload in the office, someone who’s pushing toward burnout may struggle with keeping their train of thought in conversations. Burnout tends to put stress on cognitive abilities that we’d otherwise exercise without hesitation.
Sometimes, that’s struggling to recall information and memories. Other times, it’s feeling anxious for no obvious reason. Many people who are burnt out also struggle with productivity and an inability to concentrate on even the most mundane tasks.
6. They’re missing out on true rest
Dealing with stress can often significantly damage the quality of our sleep. In turn, not getting enough sleep can cause even more stress and tension to bubble up unexpectedly, even during the most casual conversations.
If someone is speaking and losing their train of thought or forgetting what they were going to say after calling someone on the phone, there’s a chance they’re battling this kind of fatigue. Regardless of what it stems from, they’re not fueling their minds and bodies enough to exercise the basic cognitive and social abilities that get them through their days.
7. They’re trying too hard to remember everything
It’s essential for people with busy schedules and a million conflicting responsibilities to have some kind of organization that helps relieve their brain. They can’t realistically hold all of that inside their brains, trying to remember their kids’ schedules, work responsibilities, and personal needs without overloading themselves.
Whether it’s a brain dump in their journal or a physical planner they can jot things down in, they need to release the thoughts floating around so they can be more present. If they don’t, small blips in conversations like this or missing certain obligations are more likely to happen.
8. They’re absorbing other people’s stress
PeopleImages | Shutterstock.com
Busy moms who take on unrealistic workloads and empathetic people who can’t say no to being the therapist for their friends often take on other people’s moods and feel responsible for keeping everyone happy, but doing that isn’t practical in the long run. Especially when negativity and shame are so contagious, being around people who expect you to solve their discomfort only creates more stress for you.
If you notice someone is disengaged from conversations, zoning out all the time or forgetting what they were going to say, check in. They might be holding stress from more than just their own complex emotions and struggles.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
