People Who Are Truly Sad Usually Do These 11 Things During The Holiday Season
F01 PHOTO | Shutterstock On top of deeper-rooted struggles like coping with a loss or navigating grief, the "holiday blues" can often erupt from the added stress and expectations of the holiday season. In a time that's pressured upon people to be joyous, exciting, and easy, those experiencing holiday blues are grappling with shame, guilt, and sadness for not feeling the same.
Of course, if the holiday blues linger for longer than the season, that could be a sign of deeper mental health issues, or someone who's actively feeding into unhealthy coping mechanisms that sabotage their long-term well-being. People who are truly sad usually do these things during the holiday season without realizing it, trying to cope with internal disillusionment without much company to confide in.
People who are truly sad usually do these 11 things during the holiday season
1. They push off making plans
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According to negotiation coach Pia Owens, many people lean into avoidant habits over the holidays — whether it's at family gatherings, avoiding conflict with their tumultuous loved ones, or self-isolating to protect internal grief from rearing its head. However, arguing and leaning into this discomfort could ensure people with "holiday blues" don't spiral into full-blown depressive habits.
People who are truly sad usually push off making plans or avoid RSVPing to family events to protect their own anxious tendencies. They want to avoid dealing with the reality of the holiday until they can't possibly do it anymore.
2. They get irritable with friends
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If someone else around them is filled with excitement for the holiday season or feeling overly joyful about getting together with their family, it's not uncommon for someone harboring the "holiday blues" to get overly irritable. They're grappling with their own complex feelings and resentment, so it's no surprise that someone's ignorance about their struggle makes them upset.
The disappointment they're struggling with is far from easy to manage, let alone in the face of expectations for how they should feel and act. Of course, it's hardly ever personal — just a coping mechanism for dealing with the holidays around people who get to enjoy it without a second thought.
3. They stay busy 24/7
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Whether it's picking up more work in the office, making plans with friends, or cleaning everything in their house, people who are truly sad usually do these things during the holiday season. Rather than falling into a spiral of sadness and guilt, they keep their mind busy with other things — waiting until after the season to meet their complex emotions at the surface.
Unfortunately, according to experts from UC Davis, overscheduling yourself is one of the quickest ways to fall victim to holiday stress, strain, and chaos, especially without healthy emotional regulation and coping skills.
4. They skimp on holiday decorations
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While holiday decorations are often comforting, uplifting, and mood-boosting, the second the weather gets cold, for people who dread the holiday season, they're only a reminder of sadness. Whether it's dealing with the loss of a loved one or coping with loneliness, skimping on decor is one of the things truly sad people do during the holiday season.
Of course, according to a study from the University of Georgia, many people, especially younger generations, are also dealing with debt and financial burdens that make investing in decorations difficult.
5. They lean on comfort shows and movies
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Combined with a healthy dose of nostalgia, comfort movies and shows are a form of entertainment that simultaneously act as coping mechanisms for people struggling. Whether they're dealing with stress from the holiday season or trying to distract themselves from larger, deep-rooted issues, leaning on the comfort shows and movies is the perfect hobby.
Especially for people who are clinging to a past version of themselves or a holiday tradition that used to be fulfilling for them earlier in life, these movies can provide a sense of false security to someone living solely in the past.
6. They get incredibly nostalgic
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Many people who feel guilt, sadness, shame, or disappointment when they reflect on memories from the past are experiencing "nostalgic depression." They aren't sure how to manage both appreciation for the past and all the holiday traditions they enjoyed while still making space for the present and future.
They cling to old memories, a past version of themselves, or the ease of their childhood holidays for comfort, even if it keeps them from enjoying the present.
7. They spend most of their time at home
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People who are truly sad usually isolate themselves during the holiday season, spending most of their time at home, trying to cope with and avoid the holiday chatter outside.
However, according to a Missouri Medicine study, the fleeting sense of comfort this self-isolation provides for people struggling through the holidays may not be worth the long-term risks for developing other mental health concerns.
8. They struggle with gifts
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Many people who struggle with gifts during the holiday season either face financial restrictions that make these expenses difficult or lack the emotional engagement needed to brainstorm the perfect present. They're always operating from a disconnected, disengaged place, making sentimental gifts much harder to make time to craft.
Either they invest in something generic that the person won't use, lean too practical at the expense of a person's feelings, or struggle to show up with anything at all — all of which spark feelings of shame, guilt, and disconnection.
9. They make excuses to say 'no'
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If someone's grappling with personal struggles during the holiday season and finds alone time to be more regulating than social distractions, chances are they'll make up any excuse to get out of plans.
From saying "no" to family gatherings and turning down festive nights out, they'd prefer to be on their own than out celebrating a holiday that only brings them sadness.
10. Their daily routine changes
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Many people who struggle with the holidays find themselves leaning into comfortable routines, rather than productive or regulating ones, when the season rolls around. Whether it's skipping meals, not moving their bodies, spending more time at home, or isolating themselves from loved ones, they're coping with their discomfort around the holidays however they can.
Coping strategies are largely predictive habits for whether or not intense life struggles or events will spark mental health concerns. That's why dealing with the holiday blues in truly grounding and healthy ways is so important; otherwise, people are at risk for developing long-term struggles like depression and anxiety.
11. They miss out on building new traditions
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Whether it's struggling with grief through isolation or focusing too heavily on the nostalgia of old childhood traditions, people who are truly sad usually miss out on building new traditions and holiday routines of their own.
Even if they're not around family or building one of their own, they can still build holiday joy and tradition. Whether it's putting up decorations after Thanksgiving or finding ways to bring social joy into their lives, these are powerful, intentional traditions for someone who may find the holidays to be bittersweet.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
